


The Diamond Boys

by xAnimaniac



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 21:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 55,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2244696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xAnimaniac/pseuds/xAnimaniac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brooke Diamond once decided that adopting three needy teenage boys would be a fantastic idea. Kendall who flirts, Carlos who fights, and Logan who'd rather be anywhere else. And her own son James sits on the sidelines, trying to sort out these strange boys that sort of complete his messed up family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written from August 2012 - July 2014  
> ^I did not notice this time flying by at all???
> 
> Okay this fic is inspired by a book I read, except it was about girls and geared towards a less mature audience :P a lot of this is pretty OOC so if you hate that then..yeah. Ignore my cheesy cover and random illustration.

 

"We're moving," Brooke Diamond announced over breakfast.

Instantly the breakfast table fell silent. The four boys stared at her, eyes wide. "You can't be serious!" Kendall exclaimed. "Why the heck do we have to move?"

"Well, I think it'd be nice to have a change of scenery," Brooke replied optimistically, keeping a smile plastered on her face. "Don't you think so?"

"Mom, we like the Palmwoods!" Carlos argued. He'd been calling her mom for a while now; it was just a habit. "We've been moving around these dumb apartment blocks for ages and we finally found somewhere good! Where are we going now?"

Brooke Diamond was just insane. First the sudden adoption of three random messed up teenage boys as 'company' for her only child, and now this.

James sighed, staring down at his bowl of cereal. It was true. They had moved around a lot the past year. His dad had ditched them for a woman fifteen years younger than him and taken most of the money. Since then they'd moved around a few cheap and rundown apartment blocks, finally finishing off at the Palmwoods. It was their third try, and by far the best. It wasn't the cleanest and sometimes there were issues like no power, but they'd all liked it there. They'd been able to manage just fine. He liked the Palmwoods because on the top floor there was a door onto the roof, and he loved to sit up there away from his insane 'flatmates'.

Carlos liked the Palmwoods because there were a lot of guys around to hang out with, like a big gang that ruled the whole block. Carlos was a couple of months from turning seventeen, and Brooke had adopted him almost eighteen months ago. James was the closest to him out of the three, and he could probably honestly say he was one of his best friends. And he was really the only one James knew a lot about. Carlos's dad died when he was five or six, and since then his mother fell apart, turning to drugs to ease the pain. After losing her job and struggling with money for a few years, she eventually gave up and let Carlos put her in rehab. He was thirteen then, and sadly the social workers, having looked at his record, put him in a home. A home for bad kids, though that wasn't the official name. Carlos was always getting into fights with other boys, and nearly always winning too. He was strong and angry, but he liked most of the guys at the Palmwoods. They knew who was in charge.

Kendall liked the Palmwoods because his new boyfriend Dak lived only two doors down. Kendall was also sixteen, but younger than Carlos; he turned sixteen only a week or two after they adopted him just less than ten months ago. James didn't know much about Kendall at all. He knew his dad was in prison, but he didn't know why, when he got there or how long he'd be there. All he knew was that his mom had put him in a foster home about a year before they adopted him. Kendall never talked about his family, and only had one photo of them. He looked a lot like both of his parents, though James could tell he tried not to. His parents both had sort of thick brown hair, but Kendall dyed his blonde, along with adding some washout dye streaks of whichever random colour he felt like, whichever day he felt like it. He had a pierced belly button and tongue, along with five silver rings in his left ear, and he was truthfully a bit of a slut. He wore the tightest clothes he possibly could, wearing his jeans low on his hips so that whenever he wore a g string you could see the top when he bent forward. He'd slept with at least six different guys everywhere they'd lived in the past year, and sucked off plenty of others. Probably most of the male population in the surrounding area. James often wondered what went on in that boy's head.

Though he wouldn't admit it, Logan liked the Palmwoods too. He liked it because they had this small park at the back, where he could sit and read to himself or listen to his iPod. Logan was fifteen and was adopted only four months ago. James didn't know what happened to his dad. But he knew recently his mom died in an accident, resulting in his placement in a foster home. But just because Logan liked where he lived, didn't mean he liked the people he lived with. Most of the time he wanted absolutely nothing to do with them, sitting in a corner and reading some book, making no effort to talk to them. Of course they had all tried, but they were unsuccessful.

"Well, we'll be leaving these blocks for good. We're moving into a house a couple of miles from here."

This instantly caused uproar.

"Mom, we can't afford a house!"

"I have a gang to take care of, they're totally lost without me!"

"I won't get to see Dak, this is so unfair!"

Brooke sighed, turning to look at the dark-haired boy sitting at the end of the table. "What do you think, Logan?"

"Huh?" Logan looked up from his medical book. He gave a feeble shrug. "I don't really care," before going back to reading.

"Well, boys, I have found a house. I looked at it online, and it's a lovely place. I'm sure we'll be very happy there."

"Yeah, you think," Kendall snapped, taking out another piece of gum from what seemed like an endless supply and popped it into his mouth. "This is so stupid!"

"Oh, don't get all bitchy just because you can't see your pervert of a boyfriend!" Carlos teased him.

"He's not a pervert!" Kendall snarled.

"I think the law would—"

"Shut the fuck up, like you ever obey the law you asshole!"

"Get over yourself you skank!"

"BOYS!" Brooke screamed, silencing them. "Stop it!"

Carlos glared at Kendall. Kendall blew out a large bubble of pink gum at him, popping it inches from his face with a smirk.

Brooke sighed, standing up. "We'll talk about this later. Right now, I'm going to go work. Clean up the table, will you?"

It was Sunday, so they had no school. Brooke, however, worked seven days a week in some community centre thingy down the street. James honesty didn't know much about it. And if he was totally honest, he didn't care all that much either. He picked up his tea and drained the rest of the cup, grimacing as it slid down his throat. He hated cold tea. It was so gross.

Kendall had gone back to his texting, perching his feet up on the table as he popped the piece of gum that matched the pale pink streaks running through his hair. Yesterday it was black. His hair was just bipolar or something. Carlos was looking over at him, then he burst into some sort of rage that seemed both teasing and just plain furious. "Dude, stop sexting him! He's such a perv!"

"Mind your own business, Carlos!" Kendall yelled back, standing up and shoving his phone in his pocket, cheeks red. "You don't know anything!"

"I do know one thing, and that's that your boy toy is—"

"Carlos!" James warned. "Don't say it again. Seriously."

"Whatever," Carlos huffed, folding his arms.

There was a knock on the door and Kendall hurried over to answer it, obviously knowing who it was. "Hey, baby," Dak greeted once the door was open.

"Hi," Kendall replied, standing on his toes and kissing Dak, who was a lot taller than he was. Instantly Dak's arms were around him and they were in the middle of a steamy make out session, Dak's hands moving down to squeeze Kendall's butt in his tight ass jeans. Carlos was making a face at them, and James couldn't help feeling a little disgusted too, especially when he heard Kendall give a weak moan. Maybe Carlos was right.

Dak was almost twenty, and Kendall ignored everybody's warnings about dating him and got straight to it. Some nights he would go over there and wouldn't be back until the next evening. At first Brooke had yelled at him for it, but when he just rolled his eyes and ignored her, she eventually gave up.

Kendall finally pulled back, breathless and took Dak's hand, leading him out. "Later, guys!"

The door slammed shut. Only a minute later Carlos hopped up too. "I'm gonna go hang out with the guys!"

"You're meant to be cleaning!" James protested, but he was already gone. And when Logan's response was simply to get up and walk out of the room with his book, James sighed and got to work.

They were such a family of fuck ups, weren't they?

When James had finished all his (their) chores, he decided he might as well do some homework. He tended to leave it all for Sunday evening, but he had nothing better to do. Still, if he wasn't going to be in school the next couple of days . . .

James put his homework down and went to play video games instead.

When he got hungry, he went to look in the fridge for food. Nothing interesting or mildly appealingly he sighed, shutting it again. Maybe when they moved p, his mom might be able to pull it all together a little easier. Maybe. Ever since Dad left, she hadn't always seemed all there.

Carlos hurried back into the apartment, teeth gritted. "That idiot!"

"What?" James walked over to him. "Who, one of the gang?"

"No. Kendall!" Carlos rolled his eyes. "It's kind of funny, actually."

"Oh dear God." James facepalmed. "What happened?"

"Well, I was out with the guys, and they were gonna go hang out at the slate park so I led them to it. I was coming back here right, and then as I was walking past the stairwell up to the balconies . . . I heard it."

"Heard what?" James asked impatiently.

"The moaning." Carlos made a face. "I look in that little gap under the steps, it's half hidden by the wall. And there's Dak, pants around his ankles, moaning—"

"Oh God." James's eyes widened. "Is Dak cheating on him?"

"No way. I wish; then maybe he'd see sense." Carlos rolled his eyes. "So there's Kendall, on his knees, sucking Dak off. It was gross. I was barely there two seconds when Dak just grabs Kendall by the arms and lifts him up, ripping his pants off —I gotta hand it to him though, he works fast— and he's there pushing Kendall up against the wall and lifting his legs up when I feel I have to step in, y'know?"

"Oh God." James hid his face in is hands. "What did you do?"

"Well, I just barged in, demanding Dak step away or I would have to take action. Considering fucking a minor is illegal. Then Kendall got really mad, getting dressed and coming over to give me a right old mouthful. So then he told me to piss off and Dak went to push him to the wall again, and I decided . . . I'll kick him."

"Oh, no—"

"Where it hurts."

"No, ugh!" James was horrified. "So what happened then?"

"Well, I warned him one last time, and I left them there figured I'd let them all it out themselves." He chuckled. "If all went well, he shouldn't be home for another few hours. But if not—"

Then the apartment door opened and Kendall stormed in. "You jerk!" he shouted. "You stupid jerk!"

Carlos gave a sigh. "Well, what happened?"

"He dumped me!" Kendall yelled, shoving Carlos angrily. "He fucking dumped me, all because of you!"

"Because of me?" Carlos couldn't resist playing a bit. "Are you sure it's not because you won't be putting out anymore?"

At this, Kendall lost it. "You asshole!" he screamed, lunging at Carlos. "I hate you!"

James leaped forward and grabbed Kendall around the waist, tugging him back. "Kendall, stop!"

"I'm gonna fucking kill him!" Kendall shrieked, squirming in James's arms. "He has to wreck everything for me!"

"Oh please, you wrecked everything for yourself, you whore!" Carlos yelled, a smirk on his face. "No wonder Dak dumped you, he probably figured you were fucking other guys behind his back! No wonder your parents gave you up!"

Kendall stopped. James gasped. Carlos's eyes widened, and it was clear even he knew he'd gone too far.

Kendall wasn't trying to attack him anymore, so James let him go. He walked to the side so he could see Kendall's face. He just looked shocked. "Kendall . . . he didn't mean—"

SMACK!

Carlos squeaked in pain, holding his stinging cheek. "Ow!"

Kendall was laughing, eyes narrowed. "You jackass. You don't know shit." Then before anyone else could react, he slapped Carlos's other cheek even harder, before turning and flouncing out of the room, chuckling to himself.

James stared at Carlos with wide eyes. "That was weird."

Carlos nodded, both hands on his bright red cheeks. "I expected him to like, scream or cry. Or both. Didn't think he'd laugh. Or hit me."

"Well, did you want him to cry?" James asked worriedly. Because while Carlos and Kendall really pushed each other's buttons, he didn't think either of them would ever sink that low. "Is that why you said it?"

Carlos shook his head. "No way. I . . . I don't think so, anyway." He bit his lip. "I didn't want to hurt him. Why can't he get I'm just looking out for him?"

"He just has no idea what he can get himself into," James sighed. "We'll get through to him some day. Maybe. Hopefully."

Carlos shrugged, then smiled. "Wanna watch tv?"

They sat down in the living room, feet thrown up on the coffee table. They watched tv for the next three hours, flicking through the channels mindlessly. "There's nothing great on during the day," Carlos sighed. "It's bloody annoying."

"During the weekdays it's worse." James chuckled. "Still, it is because everybody's meant to be at work, or school." Emphasis on that last word.

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Whatever, that school is crap anyway. Think we'll be going to a new one when we move?"

"I dunno. Depends on how far away we are; Mom never told us. We'll probably be walking or taking a bus, so it can't be too far away."

"I hate our school," Carlos sighed, "The teachers hate me."

"No they don't. They just think you should try harder. And don't appreciate when you bunk off . . ."

"Whatever. You've got no problem."

James chuckled. "Except Mr Smith. He's an ass to everybody, isn't he? He just hates life in general."

"He doesn't hate Logan. Then again, Logan is a total nerd."

"I guess so." James leaned back and sighed,mutating at the ceiling. "All the teachers like Logan. I think school's about the only thing he enjoys since we met him." He paused. "He likes Kendall too, doesn't he?"

"Logan?"

"No, Mr Smith. He's always praising him."

Carlos laughed. "Honestly, James. Mr Smith is a pervy old creep. Always making rape faces at Kendall, why do you think he gets those good grades?" He sighed again. "All he has to do is wear a tight pair of shorts to school and he aces algebra. It's so easy."

"Whatever. Don't talk about school anymore." James bit his lip. "Do you miss your mom?"

"Yeah. I do."

He said nothing else. So James said nothing else.

Then he heard the apartment door open and looked up. "Mom?" he called.

"I made dinner!" Brooke called, carrying in a paper bag that smelled of Chinese food.

"Sweet!" Carlos cheered, running over and taking the bag before going over to the table with it. "Thanks, Mom!"

James walked over to the table with glasses and a bottle of Pepsi from the fridge. He set out knives and forks as he heard Brooke yelling for Kendall and Logan to come in to the kitchen. They never used chopsticks; they were messy enough without them.

Logan arrived with one earphone in his ear, looking unimpressed at the food selection. "Chinese, again?"

"We had it almost a week ago," James said patiently to him. They always felt they should be patient with Logan, because he was the most recent arrival and probably missed his old life.

Kendall walked in next, texting on his phone. He looked up. "What is it, Mom?"

"Are you texting Dak?" Carlos demanded.

"No! Piss off! I can text other people if I want to!"

"We're having dinner, Kendall," Brooke said to him, smiling.

"Oh." Kendall's expression turned from angry to what looked like worry. He stepped backwards. "I, I'm not really hungry, thanks."

James and Carlos exchanged glances. They never really got what this behaviour was all about, but it happened really frequently.

"It's Chinese."

"I know, but . . . I dunno . . ."

"Come on, honey." Brooke sounded so gentle as she talked to him. "I got your favourite. Come on, just eat a little bit."

"Um . . . ok. I'll have a little."

"Good. Sit down."

Kendall sat down, cheeks pink as he stared at the table, pocketing his phone. James handed him his food without a word, but gave him a friendly smile. Kendall smiled back.

Yep. James really didn't understand him.

They opened their boxes and began to eat, in silence at first. Then Brooke spoke up. "Ok, tomorrow we're going to have to get things organised. Well, you four are. I'll be working again."

"We have school," Carlos said uncertainly. His face lit up. "Does that mean we can ditch? Awesome!"

"You ditch half the time anyway, you bad boy." Brooke was smiling. "But we don't really have another option. We've got to get everything packed, we'll be signing off this apartment on Tuesday."

"So, it's really a house, Mom? With a garden and everything?" James asked. He'd always lived in apartments, whether they were large fancy ones when his dad was around or shitty ones like this.

"Yes, it is. And there are pets allowed."

"Can I get a cat?" Kendall asked suddenly, for once not sounding like a hooker or just a brat, and more like a sweet sixteen-year-old. "Please?"

"Of course, sweetie! We could get more than one of we wanted to. And maybe a dog."

"Will I get my own room?" Logan asked, trying not to sound hopeful, though he wasn't fooling anyone.

"Maybe. I'm sure there's room for that," Brooke smiled, delighted he was joining in on the conversation.

They'd always had to share rooms. When it was just James and Carlos they were fine, with a room each and a room for Mom. Then Kendall arrived, and was put in Carlos's room because he had more space, less furniture and possession to take up space. But that didn't work out too well, with the two literally at each other's throats 24/7. Any guy Kendall had with him often resulted in a fight because Carlos coincidentally wanted to be in his room too. Eventually Brooke had tired of it and moved Carlos in with James, leaving Kendall with the room to himself, which he loved. Now Kendall and Logan shared. James liked it this way. If he was to pick a favourite of his new family, it would definitely be Carlos. But his own room again would certainly be nice.

"I guess a house does sound nice," Carlos admitted, grinning. "Have you been to see it?"

"Not in person, but I went to the council and the girl there showed me photos on the computer. And I got our notice, so everything is signed and settled. I'm glad you're all getting excited now."

And the truth was, they were. Maybe moving wouldn't be so bad after all.


	2. Chapter 2

"Kendall, are you done yet?" James asked, knocking on the bathroom door.

"No!"

"But I wanna brush my teeth!" James whined. "I feel like I swallowed a fuzzball!"

"Come in then! I'm decent!"

James wasn't sure whether to believe him or not, but he opened the door and walked in. Kendall was standing in front of the mirror above the sink, humming as he squirted some blue washout dye onto his hand from a plastic tube, before sliding his hands up through his hair and rubbing it in. Some blue streaks through his bangs, some blue splotched along the back and the sides, one or two over the top. James watched the whole procedure, slightly fascinated. Kendall washed the dye off his hands and stepped aside to give James room. "Go on, I'm not stopping you."

James stepped forward and reached for his toothbrush, watching as Kendall held up a black eyeliner pencil and started smudging under his eye and over the tips of his eyelids. "You must have steady hands," James commented, his mouth full of frothy toothpaste. So it came out as complete gibberish.

"You look rabid or something," Kendall giggled.

James spat into the sink. "Thanks, blondie."

Kendall turned and walked to the shelf on the opposite wall, standing on his toes and grabbing his little zip up pouch. James tried not to take to much notice when his tight black v neck rode up and he saw the neon blue thong peeking out from under his white skinny jeans. He took down the pouch, putting the eyeliner and hair dye back in before leaving the bathroom. James sighed and went back to brushing his teeth.

Should've figured he'd be dressed like that. He'd just left a relationship. It was moving-on-to-bigger-dicks day. And it happened every time Kendall and a boyfriend ended their relationship. Sometimes, Kendall would go around, looking to see if there was anyone he could get over the latest boy toy with. Other times, a guy or two would pretty much be lined up at the door, ready for rebound sex. It happened every time, without fail. James wondered who it would be this time. Maybe the guy working on the construction sight by block 3, he'd seen him and Kendall making those eyes at each other once . . . he could've been Kendall's type. Tall, dark . . . though he had a beard, James wasn't sure if Kendall went for those. Probably felt all scratchy and weird when you kissed them.

Did Kendall even have a type?

When he'd finished in the bathroom, James went into the living room to watch tv with Carlos. After a while negotiating earlier that morning, they had decided to split up the packing evenly. They would all pack their own stuff, then Carlos and James would take care of everything in Brooke's room, Kendall would take care of all the stuff in the kitchen and Logan would pack up anything else lying around. They needed a lot of cardboard boxes for their packing, so Logan had immediately volunteered and gone to get some from the supermarket. He probably couldn't wait to get away from them, even if it was only for a little while.

Kendall was sprawled out on the armchair, face buried in a book as he read intently. He wasn't sure exactly how it was possible, but Kendall was actually pretty intelligent. And he liked to read a lot. Right now he was absorbed in 'Catching Fire', biting his lip as his eyes skimmed over the pages. Probably fantasising about Finnick Odair fucking him against a jungle tree or something. Or maybe Beetee; he did tend to have a thing for older people. Maybe his type was just guys over eighteen—

Then there was a knock on the door. When neither Carlos nor Kendall budged, James sighed and got up to answer it. Wayne Dooley stood outside the door, clad in his usual black clothing, silver rings in place on his fingers as usual. Wayne was just eighteen, as far as James knew. And not a very bad guy, if he was honest. Well, his life choices weren't great, but he wasn't a bad person.

"Hey," Wayne greeted, trying to appear friendly and cute. Sort of. "Jason, right?"

"James," James corrected with a sigh.

"Right, sorry. Is Kendall around?"

 _Of course._ James gritted his lip. The temptation to say no was overwhelming. It really, really was—

"Wayne, hi!"

  1. James reluctantly stopped away from the door as Kendall walked over, green eyes glinting. Carlos got up and walked up to James, he turned and raised his eyebrows at him. Carlos gave a disgusted sigh. "The bigger dick has arrived," he murmured. James had to bite his lip to ensure he didn't laugh.



"Hey, Kendall," Wayne grinned, leaning against the doorframe casually. "How are you doing?"

"Oh." Kendall gave a long sigh. "I'm alright, I guess. But I miss Dak."

Carlos rolled his eyes.

"That's too bad," Wayne cooed, stepping inside the door and resting a hand on Kendall's waist. "You know, if you ever need someone to lean on, I'm here for you."

 _Oh, for goodness sake!_ James sighed. As if it wasn't obvious that Wayne was suggesting more than a 'shoulder to lean on'. But the worst thing was probably that Kendall knew this. And he played it up as much as he could.

"That's so sweet," Kendall grinned, lifting a hand up and resting it on Wayne's bicep. "You're such a great guy. How are you single?"

"Oh, you know. I like to play." Wayne gave a nonchalant shrug. "I hear you like to play too."

"And who gave you that idea?" Kendall asked innocently, batting his eyelashes up at him and giggling.

"A few people, here and there." Wayne smirked. "Well? You up for anything with me?"

And this was the killer move. When Kendall's lips pouted, his eyes widened and he said in this cutesy, innocent little voice, "I don't know." This was the line that drove them all crazy. It made them wild for the chase. Not that they really need to do too much chasing.

Carlos turned to James and made very convincing vomiting gestures. James chuckled, before turning to call Kendall, "Don't forget you need to pack up all the kitchen stuff!"

"I know!" Kendall replied, waving him off and still smiling at Wayne. "I'll take care of it later."

James grabbed Carlos's arm and dragged him back to the living room, sitting down in front of the tv. "Let's wait until Logan gets back with the boxes, and then we'll start packing," he suggested.

Carlos grunted in response, changing the channel to an ancient episode of Friends.

James turned to watch, knowing Carlos didn't feel like talking. Which was fine. James didn't even know why he was so into talking lately, about feelings or their school or their home lives or whatever shit it was. He really needed to stop that. Nobody wanted to hear it.

"I'm back!" Logan called, walking past Kendall and Wayne with arms full of cardboard boxes stacked and piled together. He dumped them on the floor of the kitchen and slumped back down on the living room, picking up one of his medical journals.

Grabbing a few boxes, James and Carlos went into Brooke's room, taking her clothes out of the drawers and dumping them on the bed, ready for packing. "What do we have to leave out?" Carlos checked. "Some clothes for the night, and something for tomorrow. Is that it?"

James nodded. "As far as I know . . . if she needs anything else, she can take it out later."

They finished emptying out her drawers, piling up all the clothes on the bed. They started with shoes, and then all of Brooke's tights and socks, then all her jeans and trousers. One box full. She had a lot of clothes. And when the clothes were packed, they moved on to her possessions. Magazines, and jewellery, and a couple of books . . .

Carlos picked up a magazine, his jaw dropping. "James! Look at this!"

James walked over. "What?" He glanced at the cover. "It's a mothercare magazine. So what?"

Carlos chuckled. "I guess it's been so long since you were a baby she's forgotten how to do everything."

"What are you talking about?"

Carlos flicked thought the magazine. "Look, it's all about advice on pregnancy and dealing with a newborn kid added to your family . . ."

"So what? That doesn't mean anything," James replied uncertainly.

"Look at the date on it, you dumbass!" Carlos thrust the cover on his face. "She bought this last month. Why would she only recently buy a magazine about pregnancy and newborn children? Use your brain, Diamond!"

James thought about it for a second. Then his eyes widened. "Oh my God. She's pregnant!"

Carlos clapped slowly, expression dull. "Congratulations." He tossed the magazine aside. "Well, now we know why she's moving us, don't we? So there's space for her new kid."

James facepalmed. "Why would she have another kid?" he groaned. "I mean, it was crazy enough that she adopted you three weirdos—"

"Hey, that's offensive! But I totally agree." He sighed. "Should we tell the others?"

"I guess so. Maybe we should have a family meeting or something. Isn't that what they do on tv?"

"Yeah, I guess we're considered a family." Carlos left the room and James followed him, walking down the hall to Kendall and Logan's room. "Hey, skank and geek!" Carlos called, opening the door.

Instantly James groaned, blocking his eyes and looking away. Because what he'd seen in that second wasn't something he wanted to see again. There was Wayne, lying spread-eagled on the bed, with Kendall seated in his lap, hands on his own cheeks to pull them apart as he rode Wayne's dick. They stopped their movements when Carlos and James came in, Kendall looking over his shoulder at them.

Carlos glared at him. "You whore!"

"Whatever." Kendall rolled his eyes. "Can't you guys leave? We're in the middle of something here."

"We're having an important family meeting," James explained, still shielding his eyes from the scene. Ok, maybe he wasn't a stranger to this himself, but he didn't wanna see it happening in his own apartment! And not with Kendall either . . . ick.

"Give me ten minutes," Kendall sighed, giggling when Wayne's large hands moved to squeeze his hips and rock him forward lightly.

"We'll start without you," Carlos threatened, apparently completely unfazed by what was happening.

"Five, then! Come on, please?"

Carlos scoffed. "You're unbelievable."

Kendall turned to look at James, bottom lip jutting forward in a pout. "Jamie?"

James slowly moved his hands down from his face. He tried not to look at the dick Kendall was sitting on. He took a look at Kendall's face, groaning internally when he saw those big, watery green eyes and those pouty lips. _Dammit_ . . . "Fine. Five minutes. I'll be timing you!"

He quickly pushed Carlos out of the room and shut the door, just as Kendall started sliding up and down again and whimpering out Wayne's name.

"Why do you have to give in whenever he asks you something?" Carlos demanded.

James turned to grin sheepishly at him. "Hey, at least those two are closer in age."

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He walked into the living room and fetched Logan, and they all walked into his and James's room. James sat on the bed, while Logan simply sat by the wall and zoned right out again. Carlos stayed standing, leaning against the wall with his arms folded.

A few minutes later and Kendall walked into the room, Carlos sighing in disgust. Kendall was wearing a massive navy blue sweater, that thankfully covered him up. Just about. No pants. He sat down in the chair by James's desk. "Seriously, Kendall?" Carlos sighed.

"Well I wanted to make sure I got here on time," Kendall shrugged. "I had to wait for Wayne to get dressed, then let him out. Didn't have time for pants."

James glanced at his watch. "It's only been three minutes," he said, puzzled.

"Oh." Kendall gave a smirk. "I work fast, what can I say?"

James rolled his eyes. "Right, time to commence the family meeting." He turned to Carlos.

Carlos held out the magazine, tossing it on the floor so they could all see it. "We found this in Mom's room."

Kendall's eyes widened as he looked at it. "She's pregnant?" He burst out laughing. "Well, that was dumb."

"Hey!" James snapped.

"It was! What's she doing having another kid when she already has the four of us?" Kendall sighed, poking the magazine with his foot. "It's so fucking stupid. She moves us all away from what we know because she decided 'Hey, forget the condom! I have room for one more!'"

"Don't be such a bitch," Carlos snapped.

"I'm just being honest. You know we're all thinking it," Kendall shrugged, stretching and yawning.

"Close your legs, will you," Carlos snapped.

"They are closed, sweetie. Just one quick question. Why are you looking there?" Kendall asked with a smirk.

He was just teasing, of course, but Carlos immediately took the bait. "Oh my god, just go get dressed and stop with this slutty act! How can you not have time for pants?!"

Completely unfazed, Kendall just laughed and replied, "They take some time to put on, Carlos. They're not the loosest of clothing."

Carlos couldn't help laughing. "Well they wouldn't be, trying to squish them up over your fat ass thighs, skank."

He was joking. And Kendall was joking. But instead of making a witty retort, Kendall kicked the magazine across the floor and stood up. "I'm gonna go pack." The door slammed shut after him.

James and Logan turned to glare at Carlos. "Why is it always my fault?!" Carlos demanded. "He started it!"

James just shrugged. Logan did the same, standing up. "I'm going to watch tv." And he was gone.

"Are we diseased or something?" Carlos wondered, sitting down where Kendall had been and spying. "Whatever. I'm gonna pack my stuff."

"I'll leave you to it, then," James shrugged, getting up and leaving the room too

James walked into the kitchen to see stacks of plates, cups, bowls and other stuff piled up on the table. Kendall was taking boxes of cereal from the cupboards and setting them on the counter, along with a wrapped up half loaf of bread. Then he started taking some stuff from the fridge too. "I think Mom said we'll be giving stuff like milk and meat to the neighbours," James spoke up. "Because it'll be spoiled by the time we get to the new place."

"I know," Kendall replied, closing the fridge again and walking towards the counter. He sighed, eyes on the very top shelf. The top of the whole dresser, really. "All the jam jars and shit are up there . . ."

"Well, we don't use them as often," James shrugged. He watched Kendall try to lift a leg up and climb on the counter. And fail miserably.

"Mind giving me a hand?" Kendall asked with a laugh. "It's a pain in the ass to climb up here, so . . ."

"Yeah, sure." James walked forward slowly and took hold of Kendall's slim hips, clothed in that giant sweater, before lifting him up carefully. Kendall's lifted his legs and planted them on the counter, straightening up once James pushed him up by his back.

"Thanks," Kendall smiled, reaching up over the top of the dresser to take the jars and little containers in his hands. He ran his hand over the top of the dresser and stood up on his toes, reaching forward to grab the last one. The sweater rode up and James squeaked, looking away immediately.

"What's wrong with you?" Kendall asked, completely unaware that if James glanced up he'd be able to see everything under that sweater.

"Nothing!" James murmured, eyes firmly on the floor. _Don't look up, don't look up . . ._

Though if he did, Kendall probably wouldn't notice. So did it really matter . . .?

"Can you help me get down?" Kendall asked, leaving the jars on a low shelf that'd be easy to reach later on. James nodded and lifted his arms as Kendall bent down and held onto his shoulders. James lifted him off the counter and placed him gently on the floor. "Thanks," Kendall chirped, winking cheerfully at him before reaching up to grab the jars. The sweater rode up again and James started coughing explosively, before hurrying out of the room to pack his own things.

It didn't take him long. His parents had split up long ago, and back then he'd had plenty. Not so much anymore. He'd grown out of most of it; he was only nine when their marriage ended. He didn't even know why; his mother had never told him. And for a good few years they'd been able to live in their old, lush apartment while his father lived somewhere else. But then he'd decided he wanted the apartment back. It was good for those times he stayed in Minnesota.

He'd soon packed up all his clothes and all his stuff. A couple of books, and a CD or two. He shut the box with a sigh. He walked out as he heard Brooke walk into the apartment, armed with paper bags of McDonald's. "I made dinner!"

The kitchen stuff was all packed up, so they just ate from the bags. "Come eat something, Kendall," Brooke called, holding up his bag. "I got you a chocolate shake too."

"I don't wanna eat, Mom," Kendall said quickly, grabbing a can of coke from the fridge. "I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure, Kendall?" Brooke asked.

Carlos turned to give James a puzzled glance.

"I feel sick. A stomach bug, I think. I just don't feel like eating."

"Well, I'll keep some for you, alright?"

Kendall grunted to show he'd heard, but he was already leaving the room. James wondered if it had to do with what Carlos had said to him. But that didn't make sense, Carlos made fun of him all the time.

He probably did feel sick. Maybe he swallowed too much cum or something. James lifted the top bun off his cheeseburger, stuffed some fries inside the bun and decided not to think about it anymore.

"Boys," Brooke spoke up. "I have some news."

"You're pregnant," Carlos replied bluntly, stuffing his face with fries. "We know. We found the magazine in your room."

"Oh." Brooke's face turned red. "Well . . . yes. I'm a good thirteen weeks along at this point, I've started to show a little."

Not one of the three boys decided to mention they hadn't noticed a thing.

"I know this is a big change for you boys, but it's for the best. A house will be better for all six of us."

"I guess so," James muttered begrudgingly, taking a large bite out of his cheeseburger. He still wasn't exactly in the mood to leave their home for an entirely different one. But they didn't gave much choice.

After dinner, Brooke went into her room for a rest, and Logan and Carlos went to watch tv. James went too, and sat with them for all of half an hour until his mom's yelling voice echoed through the hallway, instructing him to give Kendall his food. She sounded serious. Hmm.

James sighed, getting up and grabbing Kendall's food and shake. It was all stone cold anyway. Still, he didn't think Kendall would mind much. The door to Kendall and Logan's room as slightly ajar, and James could hear Kendall talking. He walked in quietly, standing in the doorway and clenching the top of the bag.

"Look, I said no," Kendall said impatiently, sitting on the bed with his back against the wall. He hadn't noticed James yet. "I dunno why you can't understand that."

James stopped, listening to him rant at whoever was on the other end.

"If you dare come over here, you're gonna wish you never met me! I don't see why you'd even care, you're the one who broke up with me!"

Oh. He was talking to Dak.

"Piss off! You don't know anything about me, you jerk! Stop acting like you do!" Kendall hung up and tossed the phone aside, before giving a long sigh and running a hand through his blonde and blue hair.

"Kendall?"

Kendall's head snapped towards the door. "Were you listening in?" he demanded.

"Maybe a little bit," James replied awkwardly. "I'm sorry, I was just—"

"What do you want, James?"

"I came to bring you your food." James placed the paper bag on the bed. "Whenever you feel like eating it. Mom just said to give it to you."

"Thanks. I feel a little better now." Kendall picked up the bag, opening it and taking out some fries. "So, um . . . bye, James."

"Oh, right! Sorry." James left the room quickly, waking down into his own room. He picked up the sweatpants he'd left out of the boxes for the night, and was gonna change when he remembered he left his black wife beater out by the laundry hamper. He sighed and left his room again, spotting Kendall again in the hallway, walking back into his room and smiling briefly at him before shutting the door firmly.

James stared at the door for a second, puzzled. Then he made his way into the kitchen, going straight to the bin and opening it up. Well, now he knew where Kendall's dinner had gone. He shut it again, going to grab his top and go back to his room.

* * *

 

"Get your ass up!"

James groaned, hiding under the covers as Carlos slapped him on the back. "Get up, you ass! We're leaving in a little bit."

James rolled out of bed with a groan. "Do I have to?"

"Yes! Now go get some clothes on."

James did as he was asked, and they are a very quick breakfast of pastries Brooke bought in the supermarket, before getting ready to move everything down to the ground outside.

"I already got some of the guys to give us a hand," Carlos said to James as several of the boys from his gang of friends walked in and started picking up furniture, some of it taken apart for easier transport.

"Ok, we all have jobs to do," Brooke told them. "Carlos and James, I want you to help these boys bring the furniture down, and try not to let them damage anything. Kendall and Logan, I want you to help me clean this place up a little bit. Then you can start taking the boxes down to the van. The driver's an old colleague of your dad's, I still had his phone number. He'll help us get our things over there."

The four boys got to work, James and Carlos taking hold of a kitchen chair each and taking them out of the apartment and along the railing of balconies. Down the stairs, lifting them up into the van. Carlos's gang were hard at work, laughing loudly and patting each other on the back as they heaved furniture into the van.

When James and Carlos walked back up, Logan was scrubbing at the stove and Kendall was on all fours on the floor, scrubbing out an ancient stain in the tiles. His dark-washed denim shorts were riding up a little, and they barely covered his ass as it was. James bit his lip and took hold of one end of the table.

They were finished with all the furniture and began giving Kendall and Logan a hand with the boxes. Carlos smirked and tried to trip Kendall up as he carried one box. Kendall just rolled his eyes and walked down the stairs, hips swaying every step. They were on their last load, James's dad's colleague guy standing outside his van and making sure nobody tried damaging it.

Kendall was the first to reach the van, huffing a little as he lifted his box higher. One of the boys gave a whistle, smirking as he watched Kendall push a box into the van and stretch quite nicely as he did. Kendall looked over his shoulder at them and gave a little smirk, winking and puckering his lips at him. Carlos rolled his eyes and grabbed Kendall by the hips, lifting him up and into the van. "Take a seat, princess," he snapped. "And try not to get too horny while you're waiting."

"No promises there!" Kendall teased, earning a chuckle amd a cheer from one of the boys.

James sighed, shaking his head as he dumped another box in the van. "Need some help with the last one, Logan?" he asked helpfully.

"I'm fine," Logan muttered crossly, standing on his toes and awkwardly shoving the box in, huffing in annoyance. James had a feeling he wouldn't have accepted any help even if he needed it. He hopped up into the van, watching Logan struggle to climb in too. Kendall and Carlos were already comfortably seated on a bench along the side of the van. Well, not very comfortably actually. Kendall was texting and deliberately elbowing Carlos in the ribs very time he typed, while Carlos grunted in annoyance and stomped on Kendall's toes.

"Will you two knock it off?" James sighed, sitting next to them. "Good thing Mom is sitting up front with the driver, I dunno how she could cope with you idiots . . ."

"Love you too, honey," Kendall cooed sweetly, before slamming his elbow into Carlos's side and knocking him onto the floor. Carlos growled, leaping at Kendall and pulling him down on the floor too. "I've had it with you!"

"Don't talk to me like I'm four, you asshole! At least I can read!"

"Yeah, sexy texting! Who is it now, huh?" Carlos grabbed Kendall's phone, pushing Kendall away at arm's length as he scrolled through the texts. At first he was chuckling, but then his eyes widened and he gagged. "Ugh! Why you you let him do that to you, it's gross!"

"It's none of your business!" Kendall yelled, trying to take the phone back, cheeks pink. "I can do what I want!"

"You need to cop the fuck on and realise if you keep doing 'what you want', you're gonna wake up in some gross motel room, naked and with half of your teeth missing!"

"Well you never know, maybe I'd prefer that to being stuck here with you!" Kendall snatched his phone back and shoved it in his shorts pocket. "Stop telling me what to do! I can take care of myself."

"Can you? Can you really?" Carlos demanded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I can." Kendall sat back on the bench, folding his arms and sighing angrily.

"Wow, sulking like a baby," Carlos teased. "What's wrong, boo? No childhood to sulk in?"

"Maybe not. Though you didn't have much of one either, did you?" Kendall's biting tone made Carlos grit his teeth and sit down in silence. James, after a second of standing there, ushered Kendall aside and sat in between them. Then Logan sighed and slumped down next to Carlos.

"Can't we leave yet?" Logan sighed. "I just wanna get it over with already."

"Lovely how you're always such a ray of sunshine," Carlos chuckled.

"Leave him alone," Kendall snapped.

"Guys," James whined. "Seriously. Shut up."

"Are you boys ready?" Brooke called, looking in at them. They all nodded, and she called the van driver over to shut the back of the vehicle firmly.

They heard the engine starting up, could see Brooke and the driver —James was pretty sure she'd called him Derek— sitting in the front seats. Then they were driving, leaving behind the Palmwoods for good. Logan took his iPod out and stuck the earphones in his ears.

"Goodbye, Palmwoods!" Brooke cheered, waving out the window. "We'll miss you!"

"I won't," Logan muttered, turning up his music.


	3. Chapter 3

"Are we there yet?" Carlos asked for the third time.

"NO!"

"We've been in the back of this dumbass van for hours!"

"It's only been fifteen minutes, you idiot," Kendall replied, eyes on his phone screen.

"Well, it doesn't feel like it!" Carlos sighed, folding his arms. "How far away is this place anyway?"

Not too far," Brooke replied with a smile, before facing the front again. It was only today that James had noticed her slightly bulging stomach.

It was a weird thought. That little bulge, in only about six months, was going to turn into his baby brother, or baby sister. It was a feeling so unfamiliar to him.

"What are you thinking about?" Logan asked suddenly.

James turned to stare at him. "You actually care?"

"Not really, I'm just curious." Logan gave a small smile. James hasn't seen that in a while.

"I was just thinking about the baby." Brooke wasn't even listening, so he didn't mind saying it out loud.

"You excited?" Logan gave another smile, or more of a smirk this time. "Worried he or she will replace you as the favourite?"

James raised his eyebrows. "No, not really . . ."

Logan shrugged. "Well, if you were a girl you'd have no worries. I bet your mom is dying for one with all of us around."

James gave a long sigh, sitting back again.

Hmm, maybe if he was a girl, he'd be his mom's favourite for sure. Though he assumed he was anyway, considering he was her only child, and not an adopted lunatic.

If he was a girl though, what kind of girl would he be? Probably just an average girl-next-door type, that was all he really seemed to be right now. Maybe like that girl in his chemistry class, Jo Taylor. She wasn't particularly outgoing, or shy, or smart or dumb or ugly or gorgeous . . . she was just Jo. Maybe he'd just be James. Or Jamie. Whatever.

Well this one didn't take much contemplating. If Kendall was a girl he'd be one of those hot ones with the big hair who wore push-up bras and shiny lipgloss. Then Carlos would be a tough girl, probably with short hair who wore baggy jeans and hung around at the skate park a lot, or something. Then there'd be Logan, a shy and broody girl always with her nose stuck in a book—

Why was he thinking about this?!

"What's with the face you're making?" Kendall asked, looking up from his phone at last.

_ Nothing. I just imagined you wearing a push-up bra. _ "I . . . um . . ."

Kendall rolled his eyes and went back to texting, and James was left sitting awkwardly and not knowing where to look.

"I think we're almost there," the driver, Dan, called out to them.

Carlos grinned and cheered happily. "Finally!"

James grinned at him, before the four boys looked out the front window and waited to see the housing estate they'd be living in. Kendall had even put his phone away; pure dedication.

"We'll be living in Number 17," Brooke chirped to Dan. "It's gonna be amazing! I can just see it now—"

Kendall turned from looking out the window at the shitty looking houses and turned to glance at the others. James really didn't like his expression. He saw Dan making the same face . . .

They saw the name of the street. James turned to stare at Carlos with wide eyes, trying to show Carlos what he was asking. He couldn't get the words out.

Carlos nodded grimly.

_ Fuck everything. _

Down the dirty street they went, Brooke looking around in utter bewilderment. Then they got out of the van slowly, staring around in horror. Number 17 had the names of teenage lovers and swear words graffitied all over the door and the walls. Two of the upstairs windows were smashed and covered up with cardboard. The garden was littered with McDonalds boxes and beer cans. If you could even call it a garden. There was no grass; just knee-high dandelions.

"Oh my fucking god," Kendall murmured, staring around.

Brooke looked absolutely horrified. "No," she said softly, turning and looking down the road, at the house, and back again. "N-no, this can't be right . . ."

"Well, it is," Logan retorted, arms folded.

"It can't be! The girl in the office showed me photos of the houses here, they all looked brand new!"

"They were brand new— once!" Logan looked furious with her. "She obviously showed you photos from ages ago, why didn't you realise that?!"

"Let's put all our stuff back in the van and go home," Kendall sighed.

Brooke started to cry. "We can't go home, the apartment's been allocated already. What have I done?!"

"You've messed up, that's what you've done . . ."

"Shut it, Logan," Carlos snapped, moving over to give Brooke a hug. "Hey. Don't cry, it's not good for the baby. The house might not be so bad on the inside . . ."

High hopes indeed, James couldn't help thinking.

Brooke had a key in an envelope with her, but they didn't really need to bother. James had a strong feeling that any self-respecting thieves would stay far away from it.

If possible, Number 17 was as bad, if not worse, on the inside. It smelt musty and damp, with dirty walls that were covered with just as much graffiti as the outside. The living room had a worn looking carpet that had been rolled up to use as a bench, maybe. There were empty food cartons all around it. The kitchen was just as bad, tiles missing, mould on half the contertops. And somebody had thrown up in the sink.

"UGH!" Logan gagged, backing out of the room immediately. "This place is disgusting!"

Brooke gave a wail of despair, sitting down on the rolled up carpet in the living room and starting to cry again. "What have I done?! I'm a terrible mother . . ."

Dan gave a sigh. "Come on now, don't get so upset. You need to get things done around here."

Brooke ignored him, sobbing loudly.

"Somebody's got to do something!"

After he said this, Carlos glared at him and went to sit beside Brooke, wrapping his arm around her. Logan scowled at him too. Kendall looked like he didn't know what to do at all. James was the only be left. "I guess we could start cleaning?" he suggested quietly.

"You could do that, and get the van unpacked. I need to be going soon." Dan turned to look at the four boys. "Let's see . . . how about you, and you there sitting with Brooke, you can get the van unpacked. You look like the strong lads of this family."

It was exactly the right thing to say to Carlos, and he immediately jumped to it. "And you two smaller boys, you can start cleaning."

"Don't call me small! And I already cleaned in the apartment!" Logan snapped.

"Who's gonna deal sight the sink?" James asked uncertainly.

Then to his amazement, Kendall gave an angry sigh and stormed outside to get the cleaning things from the van. And when he came back in, he grabbed what he needed and stormed off into the kitchen. "DIPSHITS!" they heard him yell.

"Charming," Dan sighed. "I'll take a look upstairs and see if there's anything else . . . unappealing. I'll give you boys a hand with it if there is."

"Thanks," Logan murumred sullenly, picking up the rest of the cleaning stuff and leaving the room.

James followed Carlos out to the van and started carrying their boxes into the house, as well as taking turns carrying in some of the furniture.

"Can one of you boys come up here and help me?" Dan's voice came from upstairs.

Carlos sighed, placing another box in the kitchen. "I'll go," he said.

"I'm gonna see if we have anything out the back," James replied, turning and leaving the hallway. He walked into the kitchen, where Kendall was scrubbing furiously at the sink, mouth clenched shut in a tight line.

"How did we end up like this?" James wondered. He was only half talking to Kendall. "My mom and I used to live in this amazing penthouse, even after she and my dad split up. We always had money. What the hell happened? Shouldn't the person with a lower-paid job in the divorce get that money from the other? What's it called again . . ."

Kendall straightened up, turning away from the sink. "I have a theory," he said. "See, your dad was the rich one. And he probably did give your mom some money. I guess when he wanted all the stuff back he had the advantage. He probably told her she would have to give him everything back, or he'd get all his fancy lawyers and shit to take something she really wanted to keep."

"Like what?" James asked, confused.

Kendall rolled his eyes. "You, dumbass. He probably threatened to file for full custody of you if she didn't do what he wanted." He turned back to continue cleaning the sink.

James stood there, in shock. "That's horrible," he said softly. "Some father he is."

"Yeah well, not all parents care about their kids. There's no law stating they should. Some just don't give a shit if you live or die, and others . . ." Kendall shook his head and scrubbed harder at the sink.

Frowning slightly at the blonde, James walked over to the back door and started tugging at the bolt. "It's too rusty," he whined, yanking at it harder.

"Don't hurt yourself, Superman," Kendall teased, biting his lip as he kept cleaning the sink.

"It's looking good," James commented, looking over. "Who are you, Cinderella?"

"Sure, let's go with that." Kendall pulled the plug on the sink and leaned back, sighing. "Only this in't much of a ball, is it? And I have no glass shoes."

James finally managed to yank the bolt across and pull the back door open. He stepped out, staring at the garden. The grass was almost up to his knees, with dandelions, weeds and nettles scattered across it. "It's like a bloody jungle out here!"

Kendall took off his gloves and walked out to have a look. He laughed. "Now this is what I call a garden."

"Where've you lived, the Amazon?!" James stepped out into the grass, moving one foot back amd forth and feeling thr long grass pulling and tangling around his foot. "This feels weird . . ."

Suddenly he felt two hands slam against his back, sending him sprawling down into the long grass. "HEY!"

Kendall laughed, barely stepping on the grass properly as he looked down at him. "Is it comfy?"

"I dunno, come down and see!" He grabbed Kendall's legs and tugged him down. The blonde was already slightly off balance and landed half on top of James, half in the grass. He squealed, rolling over and laughing. "It's all ticklish!"

"That's what you get for going around with bare legs," James chuckled, poking his thigh.

"Hey, don't do that!" Kendall giggled, kicking him. "You're weird."

"Not as weird as you," James replied. And he meant it.

Kendall just stuck his tongue out st him, before getting to his feet. "I'm gonna go finish off the sink, it's still a bit gross. You just gonna lie out here for a while?"

"Nah, I'm coming in too." James got up and walked with him back into the kitchen. Kendall pulled the gloves back on and returned to the gruesome task. While James left the room just in time to see his mom heading up the stairs with some of the cleaning equipment. "Hey Mom, what are you up to?"

"The toilet upstairs is gonna need a lot of bleach," she replied grimly.

"I'll give you a hand." James hopped up the stairs after her, taking the cloth she handed him.

"Work on the sinks, will you? The taps are so dirty they're gone completely stiff."

James did as he was asked, gritting his teeth and scrubbing furiously at the grime. "Are we gonna be going to the same school?"

"I don't see why not. I'm sure there's a bus station somewhere around here."

"Can we stay off until we get the place sorted out?"

Brooke took a break from cleaning and smiled up at him. "You'd love that, wouldn't you."

"Well, yeah. Obviously."

"I'd love you boys to help me out but you need your education. Of course, I might keep you here for an extra day or two, but I think this dump is gonna take a little longer than that to fix up."

James suddenly heard Carlos yelling, other voices yelling, and a lot of swearing. Mostly Carlos swearing.

"I guess living here is gonna educate us in other ways. What on earth is going on out there?" Brooke wondered, stopping scrubbing at the toilet and frowning.

"Don't worry about it, I'll go look." James got up and ran down the stairs, passing Logan in the hallway as he headed towards the front door.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, there's a whole gang out there."

James ignored him and ran outside.

There were a gang of teenage boys standing outside the van, around Carlos. They all looked about James's age, or maybe a little older. Actually, they probably were older. Some of them, anyway. They were definitely bigger. There were seven of them and Carlos was swearing away at them, not seeming to realise he was outnumbered. Kendall was there too, looking furious. "Will you just piss off?!" he shouted. But he wasn't telling at them. He was yelling at Carlos.

"Yeah, get lost," one of the boys added. He was tall and burly, with a hoodie that had some form of a terrible pickup line scrawled across the front.

"I will when you creeps leave my brother alone! He's sixteen!"

"Shut up, Carlos!"

"Age is just a number," another guy smirked. "Right, babe?"

"Don't call him that unless you want a black eye, asshole!"

"Oh yeah? What can I call him then? Sweetcheeks?" The guy stepped closer. "Like a cocksucking little Mexican—"

Carlos punched the guy right in the jaw, sending him staggering back a few feet. Instantly the rest of the gang were grabbing him and shoving him up against the van. "Hey!" James shouted, running over.

But then somebody else ran past him and yanked the two guys pinning Carlos up and shoved them on the ground. Someone threw a punch at Dan, he blocked it quickly. "Get away, right now! Leave these kids alone!"

"We're not kids," Carlos murmured silently as the gang ran off.

Kendall turned to glare at Carlos. "Thanks a lot, you jackass!"

Carlos stared at him in disbelief. "You can't be serious! Did you not see what those guys were like?"

"I liked that tall guy with the snapback! And I think he liked me too, until you had to fuck it up and tell him how old I am!" Kendall snarled back, stepping closer to him.

Carlos groaned in exasperation. "You're such an idiot, Kendall! Sixteen with the brains of a six-year-old kid! Just cop the fuck on!" He shoved Kendall backwards in his frustration, the blonde losing balance and toppling down onto the ground.

Down the street, the gang were disappearing around the corner. James spotted this tall guy with the snapback glance over his shoulder at them. He saw Kendall sprawled on the ground, smirked and ran off. Kendall got up furiously and leaped at Carlos. "You fucking asshole!"

James watched the whole thing with wide eyes. Normally in a fight, Carlos could floor Kendall in seconds. But right now Kendall was way too angry.

"Guys, stop!" he called out weakly. "Come on—"

Kendall and Carlos's shouting and swearing drowned him out.

_ What a great start. Whoopdeedo. _


	4. Chapter 4

"You think you're so fucking tough, don't you!" Kendall screamed, clawing at Carlos's face and shoving him in rage. "You prick!"

"Guys, come on!" James pleaded. "Stop it!"

"Oh and you think you're so clever, right! Because you go around flaunting yourself like a fucking prostitute!"

"HEY!" James tried to break them up, making an attempt to grab Kendall's arms and pull him back. He was met with a slap to the face. "OW!"

_ SPLASH! _

Kendall, Carlos and James were all suddenly dripping wet, shivering on the sidewalk. "What the fuck!" Kendall screamed, running a hand through his soaked hair, blue dye beginning to drip down over his fingers.

"Mom!" James groaned. "Why?!"

"If you're going to behave like wild dogs, you'll get treated like them," Brooke snapped, holding the empty bucket in her hand.

"I wasn't fighting! I was trying to break them up!" James protested.

"It wasn't anything to do with you," Carlos said sullenly, a hand on his cheek. He glanced at it to see blood on his fingers. "You made me bleed! Fucking alley cat."

"Don't call me that," Kendall snarled. "Or I'll do worse to you!"

"Bring it on!"

"STOP IT!" Brooke screamed. "You two are just—" Then she stopped, hands on her belly. "Ow . . ."

"Mom?!"

"What's going on?" Logan asked, running out to them, Dan following close behind.

"I think something's wrong," Brooke gasped, clutching her belly, face scrunched up in pain. "I t-think . . . I might be bleeding . . ."

Dan swore, head in his hands. "I guess I have to take you to hospital! Go sit in the van. One of the boys should go with you—"

"I'll go!" James said immediately.

"No, Jamie, I don't want you to. Ow . . ." Brooke forced a smile. "You need to keep an eye on things here."

"What about me?" Carlos suggested, though he looked sick at the thought.

"I'll go," Logan volunteered, surprising everyone. "I don't mind."

James, Carlos and Kendall were left standing and dripping on the sidewalk as they watched Dan drive away with Brooke and Logan, half their furniture with him. "Now what?" Kendall said at last.

James shrugged, just as a woman waked past them, shaking her head. "Like criminals, the lot of you," she sneered at them. "Fighting like animals, your mom giving birth in the gutter—"

"Say one more word," Carlos said quietly. It was that quiet tone that gave James the creeps. "Go on."

She just scowled at them, walking on. "I guess we should go inside," James sighed, and they picked up whatever they'd left out front and walked into the house, shutting the door behind them. It was already late afternoon. It'd be getting dark soon. "What are we going to do?" Kendall said at last, sitting on the rolled-up carpet, surrounded by cardboard boxes and random furniture. "How long do you think they'll be?"

"Who knows," Carlos sighed. After a second or two he glanced down their dark hallway and moved to turn the light on. Nothing happened. "For fuck's sake!"

"We've got no power either?!" Kendall groaned, head in his hands. "It's gonna be pitch dark in here!"

"Hey, don't worry," James said, trying to be positive. "It's probably the fuse box or something."

"Yeah but none of us know how to fix it, do we? And even if we did, we've got no tools." Kendall looked more distressed and annoyed by the minute.

"Well, I don't know about you two, but I'm starving," Carlos announced, heading over to where Brooke's handbag lay and pulling out two tenners. "She won't mind. I'm gonna go out for some food."

"I'll go with you," James said quickly. "In case any of those guys—"

"I'll be fine," Carlos scoffed. "It's not dark out yet, I'll be okay." Then he headed out and slammed the front door shut without another word.

"Do you think Mom will be okay?" James asked at last, sitting down next to Kendall.

"I'd say so. I mean, at most she'll lose the baby, but . . ." He trailed off. "I'll feel so bad if she does," he added quietly, biting his lip. "It's because of me and Carlos fighting—"

"Hey, don't say that. I'm sure she was already pretty stressed about being in this dump."

"I guess so," Kendall sighed.

James looked around, trying to think of something else to say. "Do you think everything electric is broken? I'd love a cup of coffee right now."

"Let's go check." Kendall stood up, walking over to one of the boxes and bending down to rifle through it. "I think this is where our kitchen stuff is . . ."

James didn't say anything, trying to look anywhere but at Kendall right now. Why wouldn't he straighten up already?!

"Aha!" And Kendall did, to James's relief, holding up the kettle. "Here we go! Let's go see if it works."

James followed Kendall into the kitchen, where the blonde turned on the tap and filled the kettle up, before plugging it in and setting it on the counter. He switched it on. Nothing. James groaned. "Well, that's just great. I bet we've got no hot water either."

"So, cold showers?" Kendall made a face. "Ew."

Suddenly a loud knock on the door startled them both. Kendall squeaked in fright, gripping James's arm tightly. James tried to pry him off, then heard another louder knock and held him back, heart pounding. "Who do you think it is?" Kendall hissed, looking terrified.

"I have no idea."

"You d-don't think it's those boys, do you?"

"I don't know."

"Do you really think they'd hurt me?" Kendall stared up at him with wide eyes. "Like, do you think Carlos meant that? He wasn't just saying it to annoy me?"

"I don't know," James repeated. "But I don't think Carlos says stuff like that for the sake of—"

"HEY!" A voice called though the mail slot in the door. "It's Carlos! Are you going to let me in or not?!"

Kendall ran forward and opened the door, shaking a little with relief. "You idiots," Carlos scoffed, walking in with a large paper bag and shaking his head at them.

"What do you expect, with you knocking on the door like that!" Kendall retorted. "We didn't know who you were, why didn't you let yourself in?"

"Mom's got all the keys. Now," Carlos held up the paper bag. "I also got some coke. And I found a takeaway, so . . . meatball subs all round!"

They sat down on the rolled-up carpet. They couldn't find the box with the plates and cups so they ate from the wrappers and took turns drinking from the bottle of soda. After taking only a bite or two, Kendall stopped eating. James and Carlos glanced at each other briefly.

"Eat a little," James said at last, trying to remember how his mom spoke to Kendall, and what she said. "Go on."

"I don't—"

"Just do it, alright?" Carlos added firmly. "It's okay to eat, you know."

And Kendall ate, finishing his meatball sub even before Carlos did. Carlos closed the soda bottle and left it aside with the paper bag. "I'm gonna leave some for the others," he told them. "Just in case."

"Logan will thank you," Kendall teased. "Who knows, he might actually smile!"

"Fat chance of that," James chuckled. Then he sighed. "We don't even have tv! What are we supposed to do?"

"We could talk to each other," Carlos joked. "Thing is . . . I don't want to."

"I second that," Kendall agreed, elbowing Carlos in the side. James held his breath, but then sighed with relief when he saw it was only in play, and that Carlos knew it too.

A sudden knock on the door made them jump. "It's me!" Logan's voice called. "Open the door, will you?"

They did, Logan and Dan standing there in the doorway. "Well?" James asked immediately. "Is she okay?"

"She's alright," Logan replied, giving a tired smile. "It was just the stress . . . nothing serious happened but they wanted to keep her overnight to be sure."

"Why's it so dark in here?" Dan asked, frowning.

"We've got no power," Kendall told him, lips pouted. "I don't suppose you'd know how to fix it, would you?"

Then to everyonr's surprise, Logan said, "I can do it. Have we got any tools?"

"I have some," Dan grinned, heading out to the van for them.

"I didn't expect that from you, Logiebear," Carlos teased.

"My old neighbour taught me once when the power in my house went out," Logan replied quietly. "It's no big deal. I can show you how if you like."

Dan came back and handed Logan his tool box. "While he's taking care of that . . . we can try and bring in the rest of your furniture now, or I can bring it back tomorrow morning before I pick up your mother . . . keep in mind the place you're living in. And that it's dark out right now with only about two streetlamps actually working."

"You're gonna come back tomorrow?" James looked surprised. "Really? Even after seeing those two?" He pointed at Kendall and Carlos, who looked offended, but their heads hung low and they said nothing.

"We'l . . ." Dan pulled at the collar of his shirt, obviously finding the question uncomfortable. "You boys need help. You might be pretty rough but I know you've got good hearts. I don't mind giving you a bit of a hand, just until you find your feet. Look where you ended up."

James grinned at him. "Thanks."

"Yeah," Kendall added at last. "Thank you." Carlos nodded in agreement but stayed silent.

"I think we should leave the furniture until the morning," James said. "We have enough here to get by, we'll be fine."

Logan came back with Dan's tool box and handed it over, before triumphantly flicking the switch in the hallway, light flooding it immediately. "Awesome!" Carlos cheered, giving Logan a hug. "You rock!"

Logan's cheeks were pink as he gave an idle shrug.

Once Dan left, the boys shut the door firmly behind them and wondered what to do next. "Maybe we should just sleep," James suggested at last. "It's getting kinda late . . ."

And because they had nothing else to do, the other three shrugged and agreed. "I saved you some food," Carlos said to Logan, handing him the bag and the coke. "So, eat that first, yeah?"

"Yeah," Logan smiled softly. "Thanks."

"We've only got one bed," Kendall sighed. "It's Mom's."

None of them looked enthusiastic about the prospect of sharing a bed. Especially all four of them. But the fact was they probably would all fit (just about) and it was either that, the armchair or the probably diseased floor.

"At least it's a double," Carlos said at last, trying to be optimistic.

James, meanwhile, was digging around the cardboard boxes. "Hey, all our own boxes are here, with our clothes and stuff. And our bathroom things. That's luck, right?"

"I guess so," Logan agreed reluctantly, crumbling up the empty takeaway bag and dropping it onto the floor by the carpet. "We've got enough for one night."

They took turns in the bathroom, brushing their teeth and deciding to change while they were in there too. Kendall flopped down onto the mattress, clothed in small shorts and a massive t-shirt with a skull on it. Logan sat next to him, covered up pretty much completely. James found that even though, because he wasn't as close to them, he often associated them as bring similar. But they were so different, complete opposites really.

"I have the pillows and blanket," Carlos announced, walking over and dumping them on the mattress, lying down.

"Someone's gotta turn off the light," Logan said as way of replying.

"I'm too comfortable," Kendall replied immediately, sticking out his tongue childishly and poking Logan in the side. "You go."

"No way!" But James could swear he saw a faint trace of a smile on Logan's lips. "I'm comfy too, let James do it!"

"Fine," James grumbled, getting to his feet and walking over. He switched off the hall light and then the living room one, the room instantly pitch black. He only managed to take a few steps across the floor before he crashed into a cardboard box, banging his toe off it. "FUCK!"

He heard the other three laughing hysterically and growled in annoyance, trying too make his way over without hitting off anything else. Then suddenly he tripped over someone's shoe and went flying, crashing onto the bed with a shriek and landing on top of a warm body.

"James!" Kendall huffed, small hands trying to push the brunette's larger body off him. "You're crushing me, get of!"

"Sorry," James murmured, cheeks red as he rolled off the blonde and lay next to him, pretty much on the very edge of the bed. But it wasn't too uncomfortable, thankfully. He heard rustling as someone reached down and pulled the blanket over them all.

"This is totally gay," Logan stated, sandwiched between Kendall and Carlos.

"Get over it," Kendall replied, snuggling closer against James with no apparent shyness or shame. "At least we won't get cold."

"True that," Carlos sighed. "Now shut up. I want to sleep."

James was pretty sure the other three fell asleep before him. He just lay there in the dark, thinking to himself. Despite how dark the room was, a faint light from a street lamp outside was enough for him to make out the grafiti painted on the ceiling. He was still sort of amazed, annoyed and kind of depressed about the fact that they ended up in this place. All that talk about a nice garden and pets and all that bullshit; as if they'd get any of that here. He wanted to be angry at his mom for landing them in this shithole. And he was. But at the same time, he knew it wasn't entirely her fault. And telling her off and stressing her out more wouldn't make things any better.

"I can practically hear you thinking," whispered a voice on his right.

James glanced down at where he could just see a pair of green eyes staring at him through the dark. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, I just noticed. You okay?"

"Didn't think you cared."

"What made you think that?"

Everything about you, James wanted to reply. Instead he said nothing.

Kendall sighed. "Well whatever it is, losing sleep over it isn't gonna help anything."

"I've been thinking a little about what you said to me today, about my dad."

"And?"

"I think I might ask my mom about him. Like . . . if that's true. And even before that, why the marriage ended. I have a right to know, don't I? I'm seventeen. Almost an adult."

"Do you think she'll tell you?"

"I hope so. Now that it's started bothering me, I can't stand not knowing."

"Understandable."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"You're not as shallow as I thought. Or as . . . dumb-blondish."

"I'll try not to be offended by your previous perception of me."

"Wow, lots of big words too. I'm impressed."

"That was what I hoped for. Now stop thinking and go to sleep."

"I'll do my best."


	5. Chapter 5

The newly-collected furniture from Dan's van was left cluttered around in the living room and kitchen when Dan returned again with Brooke in the passenger seat. The four boys ran out to hug her, though none of them except James would admit how relieved they were that she was alright. "We've gotta finish cleaning those rooms up before we put the furniture in," she instructed once they were back inside the house. "If we work fast and hard we should at least have it clean enough to sleep in by tonight. Then we can actually decide who's sleeping where."

"I'll get going then," Dan said at last, scratching the back of his head and looking flustered. "I suppose I can come back in a day or two and see how you're doing . . . just to make sure."

Kendall glanced at James and raised his eyebrows, smirking a little. He didn't get it, but he had a feeling Kendall was thinking of something dirty and/or embarrassing. For once, he suddenly noticed, Kendall's face and hair were completely natural. Well . . . his hair was never natural but today it lacked any other colour besides that soft honey blonde. He supposed he must've forgotten about it.

"Thanks, Dan," Brooke grinned. "We appreciate it, really we do."

Carlos and Logan nodded in agreement, while Kendall chirped, "Yup!" and gave the man a charming smile.

"It's nothing," Dan chuckled, grinning. "I'll see you soon . . . good luck with the cleaning! Boys, make sure your mother doesn't get too stressed."

"She's not my mother," Logan sighed, but it was a bare murmur that no one really heard.

Dan drove away and Brooke handed out the cleaning supplies. "James, I want you to finish off the living room," she instructed. "It's practically finished anyway and when it is I want you to give the the boys a hand upstairs. I'll do the kitchen. Kendall, you can do the bathroom. There are four bedrooms; Carlos, you can take the biggest one. Logan, take one of the smaller ones. Anyone who finishes can get to work on the last two. We'll do the hallways and the stairs last. Okay?"

Everyone nodded and went their seperate ways. James wandered into the living room and looked around. He saw that really, all he had to do was dust the corners of the ceiling. There was too much furniture in there to vacuum properly at the moment, and all the other stains were gonna be fixed with a good coat of paint. He picked up his duster and got to work.

Upstairs, he could hear Kendall singing some latest pop single as he worked, while Carlos sang something louder, a rock song of sme kind. He smiled to himself and grabbed a chair to stand up on, dusting all the cobwebs from the corners of the ceiling, and from the windows. He finished it all and opened the front door, whacking the duster off the wall a few times and watching the dust float to the ground, invisible once it did. Across the street, he saw a small old man walking his dog. Only the dog looked like it hadn't eaten in a month.

"Get on, you scum!" the man growled, foot nudging the dog in the stomach, a lot harder than necessary. It yelped and limped on a bit faster, tongue hanging out as it panted. James frowned and shut the front door again, thinking about his mom's promise about them getting a pet. One thing was for sure; he'd never treat is as badly as that. They were just like people, really. Only difference was they didn't hurt people unless they were taught to. Or if they'd been hurt first.

He sighed and gave the bottom step of the stairs a light kick.

As he thought of Brooke, he remembered what Kendall had said. "Mom?" he called. "Are you busy?"

"I'm actually just stopping for a quick drink," she called back. "Come in if you like!"

James walked into the room, where Brooke was sitting at the kitchen table. She just about had space for a chair, and was holding a glass of water in her hand. James made his way around the dresser in his way and shimmied into a nearby kitchen chair. "Hey, Mom? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, go ahead.."

James made himself more comfortable and took a deep breath. "Um . . . I wanted to talk to you about Dad. If that's okay . . ."

"Oh. I suppose that's alright." Brooke smiled, taking a sip of her drink before placing the glass back on the table and waiting for him to speak.

James looked down, hands playing with the frayed ends of his shirt sleeves. "Um . . ."

"Yes?"

"Did he threaten to take custody of me if you didn't give up the apartment?" James blurted out, cheeks flushing as he realised he probably shouldn't have approached the question this way.

Brooke turned slightly pale, and James knew immediately that Kendall had been right. "I . . . where did you hear that?"

"Kendall had a theory. Is it true?"

Brooke sighed, hands pressed to her temple as her fingers rubbed little circles onto her skin. He felt a bit guilty for stressing her out. "Honestly, it is true."

"And do you think he actually wanted custody of me? Or was he just using me for his own gain?" James's voice wavered a little but he tried to ignore it.

"Look, James . . ." She bit her lip. "Your dad wanted what he wanted, and he'd do anything it took to get his way. Truthfully, I don't think he wanted you that much. It's not that he doesn't love you, I'm sure he does, somewhat . . . but you would've tied him down."

"Why did you two split up?"

"I didn't realise this was 'Interrogate your Mother' day."

"I told you I wanted to talk about my dad. I'm not done," James snapped.

"I found out he was cheating on me. He had been for a while." Brooke's voice was steady but for some reason she couldn't properly look him in the eye.

James frowned. Something about his mother's tone put him off a little. "The way you're talking, it's like he committed the worst sin in the world," he said at last. "Sorry if I'm taking what he did too lightly, I just . . . I don't understand."

Brooke gave a short and angry sigh, looking at James properly at last. "I'm not going to tell you anymore. Not right now. It's gonna change your views on quite a few people in your life."

"Like who?"

"Well, your dad. And me. And one or two others . . ." She gave another sigh. "When you're a bit older, alright?"

"I'm seventeen! How much older do I need to be?!"

"We're not talking about this anymore!" Brooke snapped. "I've had enough! Just go back to your jobs!"

James got up and left the room, gritting his teeth. What was she hiding from him that was oh so important and mysterious?! It got on his last nerve.

He picked up his cleaning supplies and went upstairs, taking a peek into the bathroom on his way up. The place was practically gleaming; James guessed that Kendall must've used up the whole bottle of surface cleaner. He heard singing coming from the room at the end of the hall amd walked down, seeing Kendall on his knees on the floor, scrubbing. "Hey Cinderella," he greeted, kneeling down beside him. "Need some help?"

"Yeah, go clean something that looks diseased," Kendall joked, scrubbing harder. "I've got this under control."

James grabbed the empty bucket and went to fill it with water, before coming back, picking up his rag and washing the windows. "I decided to talk to Mom about my dad," he said as he cleaned.

"And?"

"Your theory was correct. He used my mom's love for me to get what he wanted." James was aware he sounded bitter; it was a natural thing and he didn't care much.

"Sorry about that," Kendall replied mournfully, glancing up at where he stood. "But like I said . . . I guess not all parents care."

"Yeah, I guess not." James polished the window harder, the cloth squeaking against the glass. "She also said the reason they split up was because he was cheating on her. But she acted like it was way worse than it sounded. Then she wouldn't tell me why."

"I'm afraid I don't have any theories about that."

"It's cool. I didn't think you did."

After another twenty minutes, Logan came in and gave them a hand finishing off the room. "The biggest problem upstairs is the grafitti," he said as they surveyed the work they'd done. "Once we get a bit of paint on these walls, we'll be home free."

"Now there's just the smallest bedroom left," Kendall grinned, brushing a bit of dust off the knees of his skinny jeans. "Shall we?"

Carlos helped them with the last bedroom and they finished it off quickly. Then three of them took care of the upstairs hallway while Kendall went and helped Brooke with downstairs.

"Well done boys!" Brooke called up the stairs. "It looks so much better than it did yesterday!"

"We could start a business," Carlos boasted, holding and swinging a feather duster around and chuckling. "Clean up all the old dumps in this place."

Logan raised his eyebrows. "You're kidding, right?"

"Of course!"

"I think we could all do with a bit of a break," Brooke said once the three boys went downstairs. "Maybe an hour? Then we'll start moving the furniture where we want it." She went off into the kitchen without another word.

"I'm hungry," Logan sighed. "Think we've got anything edible?"

"They're might be some cereal or Cheetos or something," James shrugged, pointing to the box where the food had been stored. Logan went to look and James turned to see Carlos putting on his jacket. "Where are you going?"

"Out," Carlos replied with a shrug. "I wanna explore."

James grabbed his arm worriedly. "But what if those guys—"

"Relax, I can take care of them," Carlos scoffed, shaking free and heading towards the door. "See ya!" He strode out and slammed the front door after him. James gave an exasperated sigh.

"I'm going too!" Kendall announced, picking up his sweater and putting it on.

"What, no!" James lunged for him but he jumped out of the way.

"You're not the boss of me," he sang, winking before running out the door, not giving James a chance to stop him again.

James gave an exasperated sigh, turning to Logan. "What's the bet they'll both come back with missing limbs?"

Logan shrugged. "I guess we'll see."

James went to root around in one of the boxes for a book of some kind. He found one of Logan's that he wasn't using, and decided to give it a try. It bored him quite a lot.

James ran into the hallway a while later when he heard the door open. Kendall waltzed in, smiling in greeting when he saw him. "You look live you've been waiting for me," he teased, poking his shoulder. "Have you?"

"Pfft, no. So what did you get up to?"

Kendall grinned. "I made a friend!"

"Oh." James's eyebrows rose doubtfully. "A . . . a man friend . . .?" He wondered what the two of them had done before this so-called friendship was established.

"No, no! It's a girl, her name's Lucy." James followed Kendall into the living room as he threw himself down on one of the beds and continued. "See, I was wandering around, and there was this guy sitting on a trashcan and playing guitar, he looked like a total hippie. Or a pothead. Not much difference, really. He was really scrawny so I didn't think he could beat me up, so I went over and sat with him and started chatting."

"And then you two . . .?"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "We talked for a while when this girl Lucy came over, looking seriously pissed off with me. I think those two might be unofficially together 'cause when I asked them, they both denied it, but . . . anyway, we all started chatting then and she thinks I'm cool! Her guy does too; his name's Guitar Dude."

"Somehow I doubt that's his name . . ."

"Well whatever, that's what he goes by." Kendall shook his bangs out of his eyes. "I should take some advice from her. She's got amazing hair and she was dressed in all black leather. I'd go straight for her."

"Right, okay." James sat down next to Kendall, elbowing him in the side. "Where does she live?"

"Down the street, she told me the number. It's actually a pretty nice house." Kendall smiled sweetly. "So I guess there is hope for us after all."

"Maybe."

Logan looked up from his book, looking slightly intrigued. "I'm surprised her house hasn't been trashed by now."

"I guess some people here respect each other. Maybe not all, but . . ." Kendall shrugged. "And you never know, maybe she's got a tough family. She seemed pretty tough herself."

"What about the guy?"

"I'd say he's the kind of guy that gets along with everyone, he was so mellow. Even assholes like the gang from yesterday."

"You're admitting they were assholes?" Logan gaped at him. "It's a miracle!"

"Oh, shush." Kendall rolled his eyes. "No need to get sarcastic with me."

"But sarcasm is one of the best things bout me," Logan retorted. "So take it or leave it." He received a pillow in the face as an answer.

And then the front door opened and Carlos stumbled in, end of his t-shirt yanked up over his nose. The shirt was dark red and sticky with blood.

"Oh my god!" Logan exclaimed, stunned out of his normally moody persona. "What happened to you?!"

"Nothing important," Carlos replied gruffly, voice slightly muffled and a bit blocked up.

"It was those guys, wasn't it?" James groaned.

"No!" Carlos snarled. "It wasn't. This was another gang. Said I'd wandered onto their territory."

"Just like you to do something idiotic like that," Kendall sighed. Logan scoffed, shaking his head.

"Come on." Kendall took Carlos's arm and dragged him into the kitchen. He sat the older boy down in a kitchen chair and walked to the sink, grabbing a wad of paper towels from the big unpacked box on the counter and soaking them in water, before squeezing them out and handing them to him. "Press that to your nose and tilt your head back, okay?"

Carlos murmured something incomprehensible and did as he asked. "So what happened?" Logan asked, sitting next to him.

"Nothing," Carlos replied grufffly. "Some gang just ambushed me, that's all. No biggie. There were like, maybe six of them. Maybe older and definitely bigger than the last ones."

"Well, wherever they were, dont go back there again," James urged. "Please don't."

"Whatever."

"Seriously you—"

"James, I'm bloody fine! Leave me alone!"

Kendall sniggered. You're bloody, all right. Not sure about fine."

Carlos chuckled, tissues still firmly pressed to his nose. "Where's Mom?"

"In the living room. She's been half aslee for the past half an hour, we're supposed to get her up in another while so she can instruct us about the furniture."

"So we've gotta pick rooms out," Kendall continued. "There are three, not including Mom's. Obviously she's gonna take the biggest one, for her and the baby. Then when the kid gets older he or she will probably take over the small room—"

"If we're still here."

"Yeah, if we're still here. Which means, we have two options. Either two people share one of the rooms, one person gets the other medium room and another gets the smallest one, or we don't change and just all share like we did back in the Palmwoods."

"So really, not much has changed, has it?" Carlos sighed.

"I wouldn't say that." Logan gave a sarcastic smile. "I mean, look at the lovely artwork on the ceiling! Didn't have that back in the Palmwoods!"

"Has your nose stopped bleeding?" James asked Carlos. The Latino removed the paper towel, and they saw that it had. "Okay, good. Go wash your face and change your shirt, then we'll wake Mom up and get stuff moved around."

Twenty minutes later, James and Carlos were panting and groaning as they carried the dresser from Brooke's room up the staircase. Kendall hurried up after them and stuck two hands underneath it, smiling at them. "We're almost there," he said reassuringly.

When the furniture had all been placed in its right rooms, they started arranging it. Right now, the sky was darkening outside James and Carlos's bedroom window. "We can put the dresser by the window," James suggested. "Then have the two beds by the opposite wall, yeah?"

"James, Carlos!" Brooke called. "Kendall and Logan are back with pizza!"

They all sat around the kitchen table with their pizza boxes and a large bottle of lemonade shared between them, not talking much. They were all tired after the work they'd done. "You boys did really well," Brooke smiled. "I'm proud of you. This place will be a happy home soon enough."

"Hey, Brooke?" Logan said, putting his pizza slice down. "What are you thinking of calling the baby?"

"Oh." Brooke looked delighted and flattered that one of them had even cared enough to ask. "We'll . . . I was thinking, that if it was a boy, I'd name him Christopher. I've always like that name. And if it was a girl, maybe Kate."

"Cute," Kendall commented idly, teeth nipping at some melted cheese dripping off the end of his pizza.

* * *

 

The next morning the sun shone in through James's bedroom window and woke him up; they didn't have any curtains up yet. He started to get dressed when he heard a voice calling. He glanced at his watch and saw it was already 11am.

"Boys!" Brooke called. "Come here!"

James quickly pulled on a t-shirt and walked downstairs. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kendall leaving the bathroom and following him. Glancing back over his shoulder, he saw the blonde clad in small shorts and a white v-neck, with red in his hair. Back to his old self.

When they went into the kitchen, Brooke had two plastic buckets with soapy water ready for them, along with some sponges and cloths. "I'm sorry to be asking so much of you," she pleaded. "You know I'd help if I could."

"Don't worry about it," Logan reassured her, smiling warmly. The other three gaped at him, and he turned to give them an icy glare.

"The windows need to be cleaned from the outside," Brooke continued. "Just downstairs, obviously upstairs is a bit difficult to reach. Once you're done, I'll cook something for you to eat, oksy? I took a quick trip to the store just outside the neighbourhood while you were asleep."

"You're going to cook?" Carlos teased. "Wow. Is someone dying?"

"Haha." Brooke gave him a light smack over the head. "Cheeky. Now go on, hop to it! At least it's warm today."

They took the cleaning things and went out into the front garden. There was only one window at the front of the house; the living room window. Then at the side and the back were the kitchen windows and the pane of the back door. The sun shone down on them, sweat beading at the back of James's neck, causing him to tug at the collar of his shirt uncomfortably.

"You know what would be great?" Carlos said as he scrubbed at some bird shit on the kitchen window. "If this house had a pool."

That was when Kendall picked up a dripping wet sponge and flung it at the older boy's face, laughing.

"HEY!" Carlos wiped the water off his forehead, some droplets trickling down his cheeks.

"Aww, Carlos is crying," James couldn't help teasing, tossing one too. But he missed and hit Logan, who squealed and glared at him.

"I'm gonna get you for that!" He dipped his cloth in the water and threw it just as Carlos threw his and in a fit of panic, James grabbed Kendall by the waist and pulled him in front of hm.

Kendall shrieked as both hit him on the chest and neck. "It's so cold!" He then bent down, grabbed Logan's cloth, dipped it in the water and flung it straight into James's face. "And that's what you get!"

Then Carlos picked up his and Logan's bucket of water and tossed it all over him, laughing loudly. Water dripped off Kendall's nose and chin, as well as something red. He ran a hand through his hair, groaning. "Carlos! My dye is running!"

"You look like you're bleeding," Logan giggled as he watched the mixture of water and hair dye run down Kendall's face and neck, turning spots on his shirt pink. "From your brain."

Kendall giggled, clawing his hands and making a grotesque face, tongue hanging out and eyes bulging. He let out a guttural shriek and grabbed Logan's shoulders, the smaller boy jumping back and laughing. None of them had ever seen him so happy.

Kendall relaxed his face, tugging at his v-neck and chuckling. "And my shirt's gone all see-through. I think it may be shrinking to my body as we speak."

James gulped, sweating a little more as he eyed Kendall's chest and flat stomach through his now soacking and ridiculously tight shirt. Kendall didn't even seem to notice, pushing his wet bangs from his forehead so his hair stuck up a little in spikes. It looked different. But kind of cute too. "Maybe you should go inside," Logan suggested suddenly. "You might catch a cold."

"Hmm, maybe." Kendall picked up his and James's half-full bucket. Stupidly, none of them thought anything of it. "Good thing it's warm out." Then he flung the soapy water all over Logan.

James watched as Logan chased Kendall around in the long grass, a stream of swear words ringing in his ears. But he could also hear laughter, and it made him smile. Looking over, he saw Carlos was smiling too. Logan's hair was stuck flat to his head, short strands hanging over his forehead, spiky with water. He finally caught up with Kendall and dived forward, tackling him into the long grass. Kendall squealed, rolling onto his back and laughing loudly, holding his stomach as he doubled over on the ground with hysterical laughter.

"Should we join them?" Carlos asked James. They both walked out over the grass to where Kendall and Logan were lying, dropping down next to them and spreading out in the grass. They just lay there for a while, not needing to say anything.

"The sun's gone behind a cloud," Logan sighed at last, picking at a long stem of grass he held in his hands, breaking it up into tiny pieces. "It's not as warm anymore."

"Maybe we should do some exercise then," Carlos joked. "To get you and Blondie warmed up in those wet clothes."

"What kind of exercise?"

"How about a race?" James suggested, getting up.

"Great idea!" Kendall praised, hopping to his feet and stretching a little. His shirt clung to him even tighter. James swallowed awkwardly.

The other three stood up. "How about a piggyback race?" Kendall grinned. "Around the garden twice?"

James sighed, shaking his head and chuckling. "Should've known you'd taken the easy option," he teased, poking Kendall's cheek. "So, are you—"

"Blondie, be my partner?" Carlos asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and nudging him in the side, smirking.

"Since when would I be your choice?"

"Well, I figure this is a way for us to settle our differences. Right?"

"Fair enough." Kendall walked behind Carlos and hopped onto his back with ease, arms around his neck as the Latino kept his hands firmly under this thighs. Giving an idle shrug, James beckoned Logan over and he climbed up onto his back. James and Carlos walked to the end of the garden, right in the corer. "I'll count us in," Kendall said. "One . . . two . . . THREE!"

James and Carlos sprinted across the grass, Kendall and Logan slapping at each other above their heads. They were on their second round when Carlos stuck out his foot and tripped James up. He fell headlong into the grass, Logan falling with him.

"Boys!" Brooke called, standing at the open back door and watching them. "Did you finish the windows?"

They all nodded, and she eyed Kendall and Logan with a chuckle. "I think you used more of the water on yourselves."

"But the windows are clean," Carlos replied, letting Kendall drop down from his back and stand next to him.

"True." Brooke grinned at the four boys; she'd been watching them as she made dinner. She'd never seen them get along so well. This new place had brought them together after all. "Well, come inside! I've made pasta and meatballs, it's ready now."

The boys all cheered and hurried inside, sitting down at the kitchen table as they were given their plates of food.

James watched his mother as she ate too. He was finally staring to notice that 'glow' people always talked about. He thought about the brother or sister he'd get in about six months' time. Then he thought about his other three sort-of siblings sitting and eating with him, talking at the tops of their voices, except for Logan.

No. They were more like friends. Sometimes. Other times he wanted to rip them apart. But, yeah. Friends.


	6. Chapter 6

The following Monday, Brooke decided she would send the boys back to school. She told them that from now on they would be taking a bus just outside the estate, then walking for a few minutes until they got to school. She was met with four unanimous groans as she handed out the bus fare. "Now go on, and don't miss the bus! It only leaves every half hour and I don't want you to be late today."

The four of them got ready — which invariably included Carlos or Kendall pissing the other off on some way. Today Carlos hogged the bathroom until they had to leave, barely giving Kendall time to brush his teeth. They left the house, each giving Brooke a little peck on the cheek as they left. Except for Logan, who just gave an awkward nod and a smile. It'd be enough for now. They walked down the street pretty much in silence, until they passed two men passing a large bottle of vodka between them and crossed over to the other side of the street. "Are we out yet?" Kendall hissed. "I hate it here."

"You and me both," James replied quietly. "We're almost out, the bus stop is just around the corner.

As they stood there and waited for the bus to arrive, along with a couple of other people they didn't know, Carlos spoke up. "You know, I think now that we're back at school, I might change my ways."

"You mean tomorrow I'll actually get to shower?" Kendall snapped, but he was smirking and it was clear he was interested.

"No." Carlos rolled his eyes. "I mean, today for instance, I'm not gonna get detention. And maybe tomorrow, maybe all this week! I think I can do it; I might actually show up more often, do all my homework—"

"Sounds like a tough journey for you," James commented.

"I can get there! But I'll go in steps. Let's just see how today plays out."

"The bus is coming," was all that Logan said, his expression and time holding the same sadness. Which James found a little strange and out of place.

They paid and got on the bus, moving close to the back. James sat by the window and Kendall sat with him, with Carlos and Logan in front of them. "So, think anyone missed us?" Kendall asked playfully, hands on the back of Logan's seat as he leaned up to talk to them.

"Well, they didn't miss you," Carlos teased. "But me, I'm amazing."

"What about me?" James asked, poking Carlos in the back of the head. "I'm, sure they missed me too. I mean, who wouldn't?"

"Yeah. I guess the girls at school missed their eye candy," Kendall shrugged, rifling through the pocket of his jeans for his pack of bubblegum.

Carlos and James both gaped at him, James's cheeks flushed. Kendall glanced up again at the both of them. "What? He's handsome, it's true. It's whatever." He unwrapped a piece of gum, popping it into his moth and chewing contentedly, making it clear he was done with the conversation.

They got off the bus and walked for five minutes until they got to school. They got a few glances from their classmates, who were clearly surprised to see them back. James had a feeling that some of them had suspected they'd all been expelled for something awful. Or that they'd all upped and left town in the middle of the night. Probably with some stolen goods under their arms, or even a dead body! It was to be expected, right?

Still, he would've taken all that bullshit stereotyping instead of his last school. Before they moved out of their dad's luxurious apartment, he'd attended a relatively expensive and high-maintenance private school, with a uniform and everything. And back there, all anyone ever talked about were their fancy cars and their big houses and all the expensive vacations they went on. And basically how all this made them better than all the peasants in the rest of society. Personally, he'd never had that opinion.

James had two classes with Kendall during the day, and two with Carlos. One class with all three of them. Logan, being a smart freshman but a freshman nonetheless, wasn't in any of his classes so he didn't see him much during the day. Sometimes he sat with them at lunch; yes, despite their extreme differences and the sort-of other friends they sometimes had, they often sat together. And of course, they always went to and left school together, so he saw him then.

Carlos, true to his word, managed to stay out of trouble. He didn't throw anything in his classes, he didn't fight with any other kids in the hallway. He didn't provoke anyone into attacking him. And he actually did the assignments he was given. It was an amazing thing to see. Also a bit disturbing. But with each hour that he behaved himself, Carlos's confidence — and with that, arrogance — grew.

It was in James, Carlos and Kendall's math class when everything went wrong for him. Kendall sat down in his usual seat in front of Carlos, which James a few seats away from them both. Mr Smith handed out some worksheets. "This is revision of the entire last chapter we've done. If you're not done in class, finish it for homework. I'll be going around to give help if anyone needs it."

James did his work, sighing as various numbers and strange symbols swam in his partially melted brain. Whose idea was it to give them math as their last class? He couldn't concentrate on this at all. He was sure that maybe, just maybe, if he had math at a different time of the day, he'd be a lot better at it. Yup, it was the school's fault that he wasn't reaching his full potential. He was probably a genius for all they knew. He sighed and went back to his problems, resisting the urge to fill the closed loops on the numbers up with his pen.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kendall working slowly and quietly at his sheet. Carlos was sitting behind him, his work untouched. He was twirling his pen around between his fingers, eyes dropped half shut. His eyes then landed on Kendall and gave a small smirk. James gave a tiny sigh, knowing what was coming next. Carlos swung his leg back, and delivered a sharp kick to the back of Kendall's chair. Kendall jumped and turned around to give him a scowl. Carlos looked down immediately, acting as though he'd been working diligently that whole time. Kendall gritted his teeth and turned back around. Then he smiled too. Oh god.

Kendall raised his hand, James seeing his lip pout and his eyes get a little sparkle to resemble a puppy's, as he called, "Mr Smith?"

He knew what was coming next.

Mr Smith hurried over to him instantly, eyes lighting up a little. Yes, Kendall?" he said in a low voice, considering his other students were still trying to work. James could just about hear what they were both saying, if he listened carefully.

"I'm just having some trouble," Kendall whispered, batting his eyelashes slightly. "Can you please help me?"

"Oh, of course!" Mr Smith leaned closer to him, bending down slightly so their faces were almost level. "Which one are you struggling with?"

"Well, first there was this one . . ." Kendall pointed to a spot on the problem sheet, scooting over slightly in his chair to give Mr Smith more room to lean in. And he did, arm going over the back of Kendall's chair, brushing off his shoulder.

Carlos stared at them both, turning to gape at James. He looked totally outraged. Why, James didn't know. Maybe he was being protective. Or maybe he was just annoyed that Kendall was being slutty again. It could've been both. James just shrugged at him, because really, what could he say or do?

Mr Smith was explaining the solution to Kendall, practially breathing it right into his ear. Kendall turned and smiled sweetly at him, their faces only a couple of inches apart. "Thank you," Kendall said in a soft voice, very deliberately glancing down at Mr Smith's mouth, before back up into his eyes. "I get it now."

"Good," Mr Smith grinned at him, voice low. "I'm happy you do." His cheeks flushed slightly when Kendall leaned back a little in his chair, brushing off his hand. "Do you want any help with the others?"

"Yeah, there are a couple more . . ."

Carlos clenched his fists, glaring daggers at the two of them. James could just tell that he was close to saying something. It was one of those brief spouts where he just couldn't control his anger and frustration. Especially his anger towards Kendall. He waved his hand slightly, trying to get the other boy's attention and maybe calm him down. Or at least distract him. But it wasn't working. Carlos was staring dead ahead with dark eyes, as Kendall breathed his math-related concerns against Mr Smith's cheek.

Then one of Kendall's hands moved up to brush his blonde hair out of his eyes, touching off his cheek in the process and making him jump, cheeks turning bright red.

"Will you just stop, you fucking slut!"

The entire class gasped, turning to stare at Carlos with large eyes. He was on his feet, hands slammed on the table. Kendall gaped at him, a stricken look on his face. But James could see that little twinkle on his eye and knew he'd planned for this to happen. Sneaky, conniving little prick.

And that was how Carlos got detention with Mr Smith.

"You didn't have to do that," James sighed as they walked out of school a while later, Logan walking beside them silently. "Seems a bit of an overreaction to me."

Kendall just shrugged. "He kicked my chair, it pissed me off. Now he's pissed off. I really don't care."

James rolled his eyes. "Okay, whatever. Don't come crying when he gives you a black eye. Or does something's sneakier, like hide some slugs in your bed or something."

"Where would he get those?" Kendall asked, smile wavering slightly.

"Oh, I dunno." James smirked. "But if he were to find some, I'd suggest being very, very cautious."

Kendall scowled and kept walking without another word. They got back on the bus and sat down, Logan sitting by himself. The others wouldn't have expected anything different.

They pretty much stayed completely silent as they walked back into the estate. They had nothing left to say to each other.

"Hey, it's Blondie!"

The three boys turned to look around behind them. James guessed immediately that this girl with black and red hair, clothed almost entirely in leather, was Lucy. And the baggy-clothed gangly kid with the long hair and round sunglasses had to be Guitar Dude. Yep, there was the guitar, strapped to his back. Kendall waved at them, grinning. "Hi, guys!"

Lucy and Guitar Dude walked over, looking delighted to see him. James was especially surprised when Lucy went to give him a warm and friendly hug. He would've expected a fist bump or even a punch in the face to be more up her street. "Where've you been?" Guitar Dude asked.

"At school."

"Oh, school." He sniggered.

"I take it you don't go?"

"I got kicked out for getting caught smoking pot in the bathroom. Three times. I'm eighteen now anyway, it's almost time for me to graduate. Well, if I were to graduate."

"I don't go either," Lucy added. "Well, not often. I just get treated like trash there because of where I live. There are so many other places I'd rather be."

"I'm with you on that," Logan said quietly. Lucy smiled at him, but he only looked at the ground, saying nothing. Kendall and James exchanged looks, slightly puzzled. James just shrugged and turned back to the couple in front of him.

"I heard you play guitar a lot," was all he could say in hopes of making conversation. Kendall facepalmed.

Guitar Dude laughed. "Well yeah, I would've thought that was obvious."

"It is. Ignore him, he was probably dropped on his head as a baby," Kendall joked, poking James in the shoulder. James rolled his eyes and elbowed him in the side. Lucy was watching them with a slight smirk on her face.

"Anyway, we'll leave you guys to your studying, or homework or whatever it is you diligent students do," she said at last. "We're gonna get going."

James, Kendall and Logan walked on towards their house. "They seem nice," James commented.

"Because they are, are you in a daze today or something?"

"Sorry, I'm just . . . I don't even know. I guess I'm tired. Or maybe I'm just thrown off because we're back at school."

"I can't stand school," Kendall sighed as they opened the front door of the house and walked inside. "Can't wait to leave."

"So, no college for you?"

"No," Kendall scoffed. "What would I do? I'm not smart enough, I don't have the money, and I don't have the motivation."

"I guess so . . ."

"What about you?"

James shrugged. "Not sure I have any of those important factors either, but we'll see how things go. I know I've less time to think about it than you do . . ."

Kendall sat down on the couch. "That's true. I dunno what any of us are going to end up doing." He kicked off his shoes and put his feet up on the couch. James sitting down near where they lay. "I guess Logan would probably be a doctor, or a scientist of some kind. Or maybe even a teacher. He's got the brains for it."

Logan just grunted, not looking at them and taking out his homework.

"Carlos could maybe be a sports coach? He'd be doing something exciting, anyway, something daring. Maybe a stuntman, I don't know."

James laughed. "If Logan's a famous scientist and Carlos is a stuntman, you can be an actor. You're certainly dramatic enough."

"Hey!" Kendall smacked him over the head. "I take offence to that!"

"You won't be offended when you're winning all those Oscars," James teased.

"Okay, I see your point."

"And what about me?"

They both fell into silence, thinking about it. The quiet made James realise it suddenly, even more so than before. He really was a Jo. Who was he? He wasn't smart or stupid or anything . . . "Okay, I think this says enough on its own," he murmured, sighing.

"You could sing."

James looked up. "Huh?"

"A singer. You know, selling albums, performing live—"

"And where'd you get that idea from?"

"I've heard you singing," Kendall said, shrugging like it was really no big deal at all. "In the shower, you're a lot louder than you think. And sometimes when you do chores. You're really good."

"I'm not . . ."

"You are. You've got a really strong voice. It could be on the radio, easy. Believe it, alright?" Kendall picked up his backpack and opened it up, taking his schoolbooks out. "You've got something you're good at, so you need to remember it." And he started his homework without another word. James decided to do the same, pushing what Kendall had said firmly to the back of his mind, amongst all those other boxed up thoughts. He's think about them later.

The three of them sat quietly and did their homework. James guessed his mom was at work; she must've returned there by bus now that everything was relatively settled at home. He wondered what she actually did there, and why he was just blank enough not to ever bother asking. He was a teenager, fair enough, it was to be expected. Sort of. Nope, it was pretty expected.

Logan was the only one almost finished when the front door burst open md Carlos stormed in, seething. "Where is he?!"

James and Logan instantly pointed to Kendall, who looked up and put his books down. "Did you want something?" he asked sweetly, smiling innocently.

Carlos growled, reaching forward and yanking him to his feet by the front of his shirt. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Kendall shrugged. "What's wrong with you, I think, would be a better question."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GOT ME DETENTION," Carlos roared, shaking him violently. "FOR NO FUCKING REASON!"

"Carlos," James started uncertainly. "Don't—"

"I fucking felt like it, asswipe," Kendall snapped, completely unfazed though there was practically steam coming out of Carlos's ears. "Maybe next time, don't kick my chair, and don't take up all the time in the bathroom just so I can't take a shower!"

"He made me scrape all the gum off the bottom of the tables and chairs! Do you have any idea how much gum that is?!"

"Nope, should I care?"

"You don't fucking care about anyone but yourself, that's your problem! You're just so self-absorbed and cocky and what the hell was that?! I'm pretty sure if you looked down you could see the outline of that pervy old man's two-inch dick!"

James had to cover his mouth to muffle his laughter.

"Whatever!" Kendall scoffed. "I did it to get a rise out of you, and it worked."

"Oh, is that the only reason?" James could see that look in both of their eyes, especially Carlos. He wanted to lash out and hurt. "You sure it's not just because you're so fucking desperate you'll hop up on any dick that comes your way—"

"Fuck off—"

"You just can't handle hearing the truth! You're just looking for attention all the fucking time, even if it means throwing yourself at every guy you see! That's probably the kind of attention you like, or are you trying to prove a point? Trying to prove to yourself that you actually mean something to people, when in reality you're nothing! Nothing but a fucking prostitute!"

Kendall slapped Carlos harder than he ever had. It was so loud Logan actually looked up, for the first time since the fight had started. James had a feeling Kendall always slapped rather than punched, not because he was a different kind of fighter, but because it seemed to express a lot more anger.

Though Carlos seemed to think differently. Because as he punched Kendall in the face and sent him flying to the floor, he expressed a lot of anger right back.

"Guys!" James exclaimed. "Come on, yell at each other all you want but don't—"

"YOU BUSTED MY LIP! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" And Carlos was tackled to the floor by a raging Kendall.

James covered his ears and closed his eyes, groaning. He could hear them both screaming and yelling at each other, and could hear many grunts of pain and slams against the furniture. And here he was, thinking they'd improved. Clearly that wasn't the case, and it pissed him off. Why couldn't they just get along and stop trying to get on each other's nerves constantly! They'd lessen everyone's headache.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, RIGHT NOW!"

Kendall and Carlos stopped that they were doing, looking over at Logan. They both looked shocked. And wrecked, but that wasn't important. James looked over too and saw Logan on his feet, fists clenched, face red. He was trembling with anger. "Just stop!" he shouted. "I'm so fucking sick of you, of all of you! Why can't you all just grow a brain, I can't . . ." He shook harder and let out a roar of frustration, hands pulling his hair. "I can't take it anymore!" And he picked up his backpack and stormed out, slamming the door so hard in bounced on the frame and stayed swinging open.

After a moment or two of stunned silence, Kendall got up and sat back on the couch, hugging his knees and saying nothing. Carlos got up and sat where Logan had been sitting, picking up his bag and saying nothing. James put his schoolbooks away, saying noting.

Kendall wiped blood from his lip, and said quietly at last, "I thought he was getting better." No signs of remorse, or any apology, but it was better than nothing.

"So did I," Carlos replied sullenly. "Until today."

"Maybe it's because we're back at school," James suggested.

Kendall frowned at him, looking puzzled. "But I thought he liked school."

"So did I. I'm sure he still does, maybe he's just tired?"

"Maybe . . ." Carlos sighed. "I guess we should leave him alone, anyways. Let him cool off and stuff."

So they did. James, at last, went to turn on the TV. They sat in silence for a while, watching Friends. For some reason, it didn't seem half as funny as it used to. James sighed, looking away from the screen and glancing at Kendall and Carlos. Kendall, like he'd said, had a bloody lip, but he didn't seem to be severely injured. Carlos was the same. Funny. Even though their fights always seemed to be severe, they never hurt each other too badly. It was interesting.

Brooke came home half an hour later, announcing she'd found a new job. "I wouldn't get it normally, but luckily a member or two of staff quit recently so . . . lucky me!"

"Where are you working?"

"It's a similar job to what I had before," she explained. "But I'll be working from the afternoon to maybe ten at night, rather than starting in the morning. In a way it's better for me; I don't have to rush around in the morning to get ready. But it also means you boys will be alone for dinner—"

"We'll manage, I'm sure," Kendall reassured her. "Don't worry about it."

"Thanks, boys." She smiled at the three of them. "So, how was school?"

The three boys exchanged glances, and said nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day at school passed relatively quietly. Kendall had spoken to Carlos that morning, saying that if he wasn't provoked, he would no longer try to get him into trouble at school. They met in a sort of rocky compromise, shaking hands before marching into school like they were the kings, and not the outcasts. James shook his head in bewilderment and walked after them. At lunch, the three sat together and swapped some snacks and class stories amongst themselves, laughing and joking. For about five minutes, James decided to pretend that he was the only teenager living in his mother's house, that these were his friends he saw at school every day, that he sometimes invited over. Sometimes they invited him over too. Carlos' mom was quiet but very sweet, always looking to please everybody. And Kendall's parents were . . . hmm. Cold, somewhat. But Kendall made up for it with his sparkly personality, and those _dimples_.

James walked out of school in a sort of dazed state.

"Me and Kendall are going to get some stuff on the way home," Carlos said to James as he felt. "Mom said she wanted strawberry ice-cream and salted crackers . . . who knows why. We're gonna get some other stuff too, she gave us funds for it. Do you want to come?"

James thought about it for a second or two, glancing back and forth between them. Then he shook his head. "Nah, you guys go. I'll just head home." He watched them leave in the other direction, talking together almost as if they were in their own secret bubble. Was there something going on between them?

James sighed and headed off to catch the bus.

"You're kidding me!" Kendall spluttered, hand clutching his side as he nearly doubled over with laughter. "He actually said that?"

Carlos nodded, laughing loudly as they neared the corner store. "Yeah, and he had a deadly serious expression on too! Like telling me that I was a complete buffoon who needed a good talking to was a completely common thing for one student to say to another."

"He's just jealous, he probably studies at the weekends while you . . ." He stopped. "Um . . . what _do_ we do on weekends?"

Carlos shrugged. "Whatever we feel like, I guess. Cause havoc, sit at home and act like civilised human beings, whatever floats the boat."

Kendall chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so."

They reached the store, walking past the cars at the gas pumps and making their way to the door. A gang of five boys about their age stood off to the side, passing some cigarettes between them. "Hey," one of them called to the two. "Wanna come have a smoke?" Another of them chuckled.

"Nah, we're good," Carlos called back nonchalantly, turning away and walking into the store, Kendall following him. "Okay, so I get the ice-cream and you get the crackers?"

Later on, Carlos was puzzling over the freezer when Kendall came to join him, packet of salted crackers in hand. "Having trouble reading the labels?" Kendall teased.

"No," Carlos retorted. "There's just about a million different kinds."

Kendall looked down into the freezer. Carlos was right; this store had an unusually large selection of diabetic-friendly, dairy-free, and just regular ice-cream of many many different brands. "Here," Kendall said, choosing a tub. "This one is nice; I used to eat it when I was a kid and my throat hurt. My mom would treat me to it."

"Okay, cool. Maybe we can get some more, just for the house?" Carlos picked out three more different flavours and balanced them in his arms. "Let's go pay and head back, maybe we can catch the next bus before it leaves."

They paid for their groceries and Kendall carried them in a plastic bag. As they left the store, a voice caught their attention. "Hey, blondie!"

Kendall and Carlos turned to see the boys from before. One of them sloped forwards, hands in his pockets. "So, obviously your friend isn't interested, but do you wanna come hang out with us?"

"With you?" Kendall looked thoughtful, glancing behind the boy at the rest of his gang. Carlos could sense he was probably trying to spot anyone he might be interested in.

"Yeah." The gang, and the boy in front, were smirking. "It'll be fun, come on."

Carlos looked from Kendall's face, to the guy's face, to his friends, and back to Kendall. He was no genius but he still had five senses and could use them fairly easily. "Kendall, I don't think that's a good idea . . ."

The stranger laughter. "Oh look, it's the stick in the mud!"

Carlos scowled, because he was not a stick in the mud. But he looked at Kendall, who turned to glance at him too. He tried to use the look in his eyes to plead with Kendall to see reason. Kendall looked like he was considering it. But then the boy rested a hand on his arm and the gaze was broken. And Carlos could tell Kendall was slowly reverting to the other side.

"Do you always do what your friends tell you, Kendall?" the boy asked.

Kendall shrugged. "No, not always." Then, to everyone's amazement, he turned around, groceries in hand, and walked off. "Come on, Carlos. Don't wanna let this stuff melt."

Carlos jogged after, unable to keep the amazed mp smile off his face. "Wow," he joked as they neared the bus stop. "I guess miracles do happen."

"Don't get too comfortable," Kendall said, rolling his eyes and sitting on the bench, taking out his change.

* * *

 

James walked into the estate, hand holding onto the strap of his backpack. He was almost at his house, and dreading the amount of English homework he had to do, and wondering who the hell is future brother or sister's father was, when he suddenly heard a tiny whimper.

Then James suddenly spotted a flicker of movement and turned to glance at the other side of the quiet street. He frowned when he saw a small thin dog nuzzling at an empty Chinese food carton on the sidewalk. He recognised it immediately as the little dog he'd seen before, walking with that old man. He glanced left and right, seeing the street was still empty. He darted up the path into his house and headed straight for the kitchen, opening the fridge. The first thing he spotted was a cardboard box with Kendall's leftover pizza from the previous night. He picked it up and ran back outside. Sure it was cold, and wasn't exactly dog food. But the poor thing was so starving, he didn't think it would matter.

Stepping outside and seeing the dog was still there, he let out a shrill whistle before, "Here boy! Come here!"

The dog's head snapped, up, ears pricked up slightly. James slowly made his way towards him, going down onto his knees and crawling the last couple of feet when the dog cowered slightly. "Hey, I've got something for you." He opened the box and slid a pizza slice across the sidewalk towards him.

The dog took a small step forward, sniffing the food apprehensively. James just knelt there and watched him, until the dog opened his mouth wide and practically swallowed it whole, licking his lips and looking up hopefully. James chuckled, taking out another slice and breaking it into pieces. "Don't go so fast this time." He tossed the pieces onto the ground and the dog crawled forward, gobbling them down one by one.

James moved the box aside and took out the last two slices, putting one down on the ground by his knees. The dog looked up at him as if he hoped he would push the food forward. But when he didn't, the dog moved forward and ate that too. When James gave him the last piece, he slowly reached out and placed the palm of his hand tenderly on the dog's head. The animal started, darting back and looking at him with scared eyes. James inched forward again, slowly reaching out and repeating the action, before gently stroking the dog's head. The dog's tail began to wag a little. James grinned down at him. "Good boy."

The dog nuzzled his head up against James' hand, and James kept petting him gently. His fur was coming off in chunks, and he could see the outline of the animal's ribs. He felt angry at that man, who had the nerve to neglect anything so much it fell into this state. He hoped he'd never had any children. He'd make James' father look like an angel.

"What the fuck are you doing with my dog?!"

James leaped back in fright, landing on his butt on the sidewalk and staring up in shock. The man hobbled towards him, wrinkled face curled into a nasty scowl. "I-I"m sorry," James stuttered, scooting back on the sidewalk. "I was just—"

"You leave my dog alone or you're gonna be sorry," the man snarled. The dog cowered at James' side. "Lousy good for nothing children . . . come here, you scumbag!"

For a startling moment, James thought that the man was talking to him. Then he saw the dog's ears prick up slightly and realised it.

"Get over here!" the man snarled. "Come on, you piece of shit!"

James started at the man, then at the dog, in horror. Don't go over, don't . . .

But the dog, tail between its legs, walked back to his owner with his head hung low. The man looked at James disdainfully and gave a nasty smile, before turning around and moving off, the dog following him. James just stayed there on the sidewalk, watching with a kind of numb feeling in his chest. He felt disgusted, and disappointed, in both the man and the dog. How could any animal be so loyal that they go back to that kind of treatment?

"Hey, James!"

James turned around with a tired sigh to see Kendall and Carlos making their way towards him, both smiling. Something surprising that did nothing to lift his mood. "You'll never believe what happened," Carlos joked. "Okey, so we were at the store and ran into this gang of guys, about our age and they were all smoking outside the door and asked us if we wanted to join! I said no, then they start going all over Kendall asking him to come along and hang out with them. Now, I could easily see that these guys were trouble—"

Kendall rolled his eyes.

"So I told Kendall this, trying to get him to stay with me. And shocker of the century, he actually did!" Carlos spread his arms out in an attempt to be more dramatic. "It was unbelievable, the impossible had actually come true—"

"Carlos, shush." Kendall was frowning, looking at James intently. "What's wrong?"

"Hmm?"

"You look unhappy, what's wrong?"

"Oh . . ." James sighed and told them about the dog, and how it had gone back to its owner without even hesitating. "I just find it so sickening . . . how could anyone be so cruel to something that trusts them so much?"

"People do it to each other all the time," Carlos shrugged. "That's what soap operas are made of."

"That doesn't make it any better."

"The world is cruel, James, that's all there is to it," Kendall told him. "That's all it is."

"Have you ever had a dog?" James asked them both suddenly.

Carlos shook his head and added, "Never had a pet in my life."

"I had a cat," Kendall replied. "Back when I lived with my parents . . . they're actually not as different to dogs as people would think. He always knew when I was sad, and he was loyal to me. Pretty much my only comfort when I . . ." He trailed off. "When I lived there."

James glanced at Carlos, who was frowning. He frowned too and looked at Kendall. "Kendall . . ." He didn't know that question he wanted to ask the most. _Why did your parents give you up? Why did you need comfort? Why is your dad in prison? Why do you act the way you do? Why don't you eat? Why won't you tell us anything?_

But before he could ask any or all of it, Kendall glanced towards the house and cut in suddenly, "Where's Logan? Haven't seen him all day."

"We've been out all day." But he suddenly realised, that he hadn't seen Logan. They'd walked into school together, but after that . . . He hadn't even noticed when he was walking home; no sign of Logan.

"Yeah, but I didn't see him in school either." Kendall quirked an eyebrow. "Think he ditched?"

"No way!" Carlos sad incredulously. "Logan would never ditch! I'm the one who ditches!"

"Okay, maybe he's just really good at hide-and-seek then," Kendall shrugged. "I don't have a clue with him, honestly. I share a room with the guy and it's like he's sleeping in the next state."

James shrugged. "Well, let's go inside. He'll show up eventually."

The three of them went inside, going straight into the kitchen. They all gaped at the two sitting at the table; Brooke and Logan. Logan was reading, making no attempt at any conversation. Brooke was chopping up some carrots on the chopping board. "I think I'm getting used to the whole 'cook regularly' idea," she told Logan, who just nodded and kept reading. Then Brooke looked up and saw them. "Oh, boys! I was beginning to think you'd never show! Did you miss the bus?"

The three of them stared at Logan, who looked up at them with a blank expression on his face. Kendall nudged Carlos in the side, who nudged James, who quickly replied, "Yeah, we got asked to stay behind and help move some desks around."

Of course, James knew what that nudge really meant. Kendall saying _'I told you he ditched!'_ and Carlos passing it on. James, now that he held this message, wasn't sure what to do about it. Tell his mother? On the off chance that she got angry, he didn't want Logan getting into trouble. Ask Logan or confront him about it? But he could already see by the closed off look on Logan's face that he wouldn't reveal anything.

"So, Mom," Kendall said at last, handing Carlos the grocery bag and sitting beside her. "We got your groceries," he said brightly. "What's for dinner? Need any help?"

The night when she left, the boys ate dinner alone in front of the TV and sort of did their homework. Logan did some schoolwork too, but somehow James doubted he'd been assigned to it that particular day. He caught Kendall's eye, and the blond nodded slightly towards Logan and mouthed the word, 'Tomorrow'. James nodded in agreement. Tomorrow, if Logan was going to ditch again, they were going to catch him out. And they were going to find out why.


	8. Chapter 8

"You ask him," Carlos hissed, gaze directed solely at James. Brooke had left for work only a few minutes before, and immediately the boys' attention was directed to the mystery at hand; why the nerd of the century hadn't shown up to school.

"No!" James whispered back, terrified. "Why me?! Why not Kendall?"

"Kendall's too insensitive."

"I am not!" Kendall snapped. "I'll do it, then! But you two are backing me up."

And with that, Kendall stood up, walked straight over to Logan and stood in from of him, tall and unafraid. "Logan, why did you skip school today?"

Logan looked up, eyes widening. He scowled. " _What?_ "

"I said," Kendall retorted, arms folded. "Why did you skip school today?"

"None of your fucking business."

"Answer the question!" Carlos added, getting up and going over too.

"Leave me alone," Logan said in a low voice, standing up. "I don't want to talk about it."

"But we're only asking because we're worried about you," James said urgently. "Is there a teacher bothering you? They've done that to us before, it's not a huge deal—"

"Shut _up_!" Logan snarled. "It's none of your fucking business why I skipped, now just piss off! All of you, just fuck off!" He left the room, stomping up the stairs.

"Why is everyone in this house prone to temper tantrums except for me?" James sighed, running a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"Because," Carlos said sweetly, patting James on the shoulder. "You're normalish, and boring."

"I'm not boring!" He turned to Kendall. "Am I?"

"You're alright," Kendall shrugged, giving a teasing smile.

"Come on," Carlos said to the both of them, before James could argue this case any further. "Let's go upstairs and keep at it. He can swear at us and stomp out all he wants but he can't hide forever. We're figuring this out and we're figuring it out right now."

Kendall nodded in agreement, mouth set in a determined line. "He's gonna have to tell us some time."

So are you, James wanted to say. But he said nothing, and just nodded too.

The three boys walked up the stairs, stopping to look into Kendall and Logan's room. "He's not in here," Kendall sighed, looking around. "I guess he's probably in the bathroom, then."

"Okay," Carlos shrugged, walking towards it without hesitation. "Then we'll go talk to him in there instead."

"Wait!" James hissed. "He might be pissing!"

Carlos turned around, taking at him. "Seriously, James? Who the hell cares?" Rolling his eyes, he turned back towards the bathroom door, resting his hand on the doorknob. "Logan!" h called, voice loud and firm. James and Kendall moved to stand behind him as he opened the door, and three barged in. James wasn't entirely sure of what he expected to see; maybe Logan standing in front of the toilet with his pants down. Or maybe he was about to take a shower. Or hey, maybe he was a hygiene freak on top of everything else and was just washing his hands for no reason.

None of these had happened. Instead Logan was standing in front of the sink, holding a tiny glinting razor blade in his hand. He arm was streaked with blood, little crimson droplets dotting the sink. The three of them stopped and gasped in unison, Logan freezing when he saw them, eyes like a rabbit's caught in headlights.

At last, the silence was broken. "The door was supposed to be locked," was all Logan managed to say in a tiny voice.

"L-Logan," Carlos stammered, eyes wide with horror. "What are you doing?"

"I-I . . ." Logan's eyes flickered from the blade in his hand, to the three boys at the door, back to the blade, and back to the boys. His mouth trembled. "I—"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

James and Carlos gaped at Kendall, who was glaring at Logan with a kind of anger in his eyes that they'd never seen before. "How could you be so stupid?!" he screamed. "Don't you fucking realise that there are people that care about you?! You don't get how lucky you are, that there are people who loved you and cared and don't want this to happen to you! YOU'RE THROWING AWAY EVERYTHING THEY DID FOR YOU, YOU DON'T FUCKING GET HOW LUCKY YOU WERE! I—" His voice cracked, lip quivering. "You all do!" he choked, tears suddenly gathered in his eyes. And before anyone could say anything else, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

There was a stunned silence in the room for a moment or two. Then James said at last, "I have no idea what just happened, but we need to talk about it. The time is now . . ."

"You're right," Logan said immediately. "I dunno what's wrong with him—"

"Nice try," James cut in, raising a hand to silence him and smiling grimly. "Carlos will stay here, and find out why it is you're doing this. I'll tackle Kendall."

Logan sighed, slumping against the bathroom sink. "Fine."

James left the room, and Carlos immediately stepped forward to take the blade from Logan and hold his arm under the cold tap, washing the blood off. "Thank you," Logan whispered reluctantly at last, as Carlos' hand soothingly rubbed over his arms, helping wash away the blood seeping from his cuts.

"It's nothing," Carlos said softly, smiling at him. "Now, explain this to me. How long has it been going on?"

"Not very long," he said quietly. "Honestly, only a couple of days."

"Good. Now," Carlos tugged Logan down to sit on the tiles next to him, their backs against the wall as he pressed his hand firmly to Logan's cuts in an effort to stop the bleeding. "Does this have something to do with why you skipped school today?"

Logan nodded, biting his lip and looking st the floor. His face suddenly crumpled.

"Hey, look st me," Carlos said softly, tilting his chin up so they were looking each other in the eye. "You can tell me."

"I . . ." Logan sniffled. "I hate looking weak."

"You're not weak, Logan. Okay? Now come on, you need to tell me."

Logan sighed, at last nodding slowly and looking at him properly. "Okay, so there are some guys at school . . . they're on the football team, or something. I don't even give a shit. But basically, they've been shoving me around, calling me names when there's nobody else around to hear . . ."

"And that's why you cut yourself?" Carlos said incredulously. "Just because of _them_?"

"Sort of." Logan's mouth drooped as he continued. "They keep saying stuff to me, about my family, and about you guys, and it just really hurts . . . they tell me this is what all of you would do if you didn't feel so bad for me, then they punch me in the stomach and knock me onto the ground. I-I started to cut to see if it would relieve any of the pain, since I've heard that's what it does . . ."

"Did it?"

"No," Logan whispered, a tear suddenly falling down his cheek. "No, it didn't. I couldn't face going to school today, I just couldn't . . ."

"Hey, don't cry." Carlos moved his hand from Logan's arm, seeing the bleeding had reduced, and pulled the younger boy into a hug. "It's gonna be alright. You've got me and James and Kendall to take care of you."

"Since when do you care?" Logan demanded.

"Hey, don't go making accusations. We care, a lot. We're just all really bad at showing it." Carlos shrugged. "It's the way we were all raised, I guess." He ruffled Logan's hair, grinning when he huffed at him and tried to fix it back into place. "I'll tell James and Kendall, and we'll take care of those pricks for you. Now, will we go see what's got Blondie so riled up?"

Logan nodded, getting to his feet. "Here, let me bandage this for you first," Carlos said, taking the band aids from the cupboard. He washed the remaining blood away, dried his arm and slapped a few of the thin bandages on over is cuts. "There."

"Thank you," Logan replied warmly, grinning at him.

"No problem! Now let's go check out what the others are doing."

* * *

 

James slowly opened the door to Kendall and Logan's shared room and walked in. "Hey, Kendall?"

Kendall was sitting on his bed, feet flat on the covers as he hugged his knees, leaning back against the headboard. He looked up, tear tracks dark against his porcelain cheeks. "What do you want?" he asked miserably.

"I wanted to talk," James said quietly, closing the door. He kicked off his shoes and got on th bed beside Kendall, sitting next to him against the headboard. "About your whole episode back there when you screamed at Logan."

"Oh . . ." Kendall looked down at the bed, biting his lip.

"Kendall, I think it's about time you tell us," James said softly. "I swear, we've all come up with a hundred different theories and they're all terrifying, and you know what happened to all of us . . . I don't think everything between us will improve completely until you tell us the truth. Things need to be out in the open, y'know?"

"Y-yeah, I know. I just . . ." Kendall finally looked up at James, eyes watery. "I'm so ashamed of it."

"I'm sure whatever it is, you've got nothing to be ashamed of," James replied, reaching out and wrapping his hand around Kendall's. "Now, come on. Start from the beginning."

"Okay." Kendall nodded quickly, taking a shaky breath. "Okay. So, um . . . it basically started when my dad lost his job. I was about seven at the time. He couldn't get another job, and my mom worked as a waitress, so it was really difficult to pay the bills, from what I've learned since. Obviously I was a kid at the time, I didn't understand."

James nodded. "Okay, keep going."

"So, soon enough he started getting swamped in debt, and struggling with all the other payments we had to make . . . I remember the first night. One of his debtors was there in our living room, and he was yelling at my dad about how he wanted his payment and he wanted it now. I was listening from outside the room. They were yelling a lot, I remember it was pretty scary. Dad was getting really flustered, trying to make excuses. Then, he suddenly saw me at the door. I still don't know what he would've done; his debtor saw me too before he had a chance to say or do anything. A-and . . ."

James was terrified of what he was going to hear next. He had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Kendall was shaking, squeezing his hand tighter. "He laughed, and he said 'I'll take him, if you're offering'. I had no idea what he meant, but I ran out of the room then. And my dad ran after me and caught me . . ."

"Oh god," slipped from James' mouth before he could stop it. "He didn't . . .?"

Kendall nodded, lips clamped shut as a tear slid down his cheek. "A-and after that, my dad gave me to these men a lot, to settle his debts, then he suddenly realised that hey, he could use it to make money generally, and help my mom pay for everything."

"Didn't your mom know what was happening?!" James demanded, awestruck.

"Oh, s-she did," Kendall choked. "She even let them into the house and told them where my bedroom was. Sure, she'd give me hug afterwards and say she was sorry but it didn't mean shit to me. I was so scared, of everything, I didn't know what to do." He ran both hands up through his hair, letting out a shaky sigh. "When I was about twelve years old, my dad got another job. But he'd gotten greedy, he loved the money he was making with me and decided to keep going. But he got more serious about it."

"In what ways?"

"Well, he bought new clothes for me. He told me how to act when they got there . . . I guess in a way I was older then so he saw it as perfectly acceptable. He wanted me to look good, and be thin; he wouldn't let me eat more than one helping of food, even if I was starving after coming home from school. He drilled this into my head, he hit me if I ate or didn't do as he asked, he r-raped me too if I was badly behaved, if I rebelled in any way . . ."

"Oh, Kendall . . ." He felt sick to his stomach. This worst thing was, all of Kendall's behaviour made sense now. How Mom had to pressure him into eating. How he threw himself at any guy he saw; this was what he'd come to know. James wondered if he'd be able to act any other way.

Kendall's lip trembled, hand wiping at the tears dripping down his cheeks. "A-and it wasn't until I was fifteen that my mom actually put her foot down. I don't know what made her do it, but she called the police on my dad, reported him for molesting me. She didn't mention any of the rest of it. For a while, I wondered if it was to spare me the pain of people knowing, or to spare her own image. My dad went to prison. He got twenty years to life, depends on behaviour I guess. I kind of shut myself away from the whole thing."

"So, why did she give you up?" James asked at last, suddenly noticing that their intertwined hands had been resting on Kendall's bare knee.

"She told me it was because she believed I deserved someone better to take care of me." Kendall gave a weak chuckle, shaking his head. "I don't believe that for a second. She just didn't like what my dad had turned me into. A whore, basically centring my appearance and personality around wrangling boys. Dieting and purging to keep myself thin. She probably thought it was too late to try and change me back, so she gave me up." He sighed. "So, that's my story."

"I don't know what I pictured it being, but . . . I think this is worse than I thought."

"I carried that shame around with me in the foster home . . . they knew I was anorexic but they didn't know why. They knew I'd been abused, but they didn't know the details. They told Mom that when she adopted me. She's been so sweet . . . I don't think I could ask for anything better."

"I know she does care about you," James replied honestly. "She really cares."

"I know. I just wish my own family had . . ." Kendall sat up straighter, moving to get off the bed. "So . . . let's never talk about this again. Okay?"

"Okay, if that's what you want," James said slowly.

"It is," Kendall replied firmly. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay," James repeated, getting up and going towards the bedroom door. "I'll leave you alone then. Thanks for talking to me."

"Thanks for listening," Kendall replied softly, smiling at him.

James grinned back, before turning around and opening the door. He started and jumped backwards, mouth agape as Logan and Carlos tumbled into the room, landing on the floor with two little grunts of pain. "Guys?"

"You were listening!" Kendall shouted. James turned to look at him; the blond's cheeks were red, his fists clenched as he stood in the centre of the room. "How could you?! I didn't fucking want you to hear that!"

"You told James!" Carlos fired back, jumping to his feet and helping Logan up.

"That's different," Kendall snapped.

"How?"

"It's . . . it's just different!" Kendall screamed, storming forward and shoving them aside. "Leave me alone!"

James listened to the sound of a hurt and ashamed and distressed Kendall running off down the stairs, before leaving the house and slamming the door hard behind him. He just stood there, feeling a little numb. It was hard to believe, that anyone could feel self-loathing because of the kind of abuse brought upon them. It wasn't their fault, so why did they feel like it was? It sickened him to the stomach.

He wanted to go after Kendall. But he had a feeling he'd never be able to find him. He would have to wait for the blond to show his face again. Whenever that might be.


	9. Chapter 9

James looked out the window again and gave another long sigh. The street was pitch dark out and he could see nobody upside. However, they had no curtains up yet, and he knew if there were anybody outside, they could be looking directly in at him and he would have no idea. He wondered if Kendall was hiding out there, watching him. Or if he was somewhere else. Maybe he was hurt . . .

"James, stop looking out the window," Carlos said tiredly, slumped back on the couch with some unfinished homework on his lap. "Kendall will come back when he's ready."

"But you don't understand!" James protested, turning around to face him again. His hair was skewed in all directions from when he'd been running his hands through it in distress. "Maybe he can't come back. He could've got lost out there, it's pitch dark! He could've been jumped, or anything . . ."

"You worry about him way too much," Logan added. "I mean, judging by what we heard earlier I don't think anything an attacker might do to him is something that hasn't happened before."

James glared at him in disgust. "First of all," he snapped. "The fact that it may have happened before is irrelevant, and completely off the point. Second, that is not true at all, and I can't even fucking believe how ignorant you are by saying that. Should I just assume that I could fucking be you to a pulp, right now, and it should be perfectly fine, because the kids in school pick on you? Is that fair?!"

Logan's jaw clenched, looking at him with surprise in his expression that he was trying to hide. "No," he murmed at last. "It's not. Sorry."

"I don't understand what's going on with you lately, Jay," Carlos spoke up again, writing idly as he did.

"What do you mean?"

"You practically turn into an angry mother bear around him. I've never seen you care so much or pay so much attention to him. Not that he doesn't like it, I'm sure Blondie lives for attention. I'm just wondering why."

James frowned, puzzled. "I don't know . . . I didn't notice that. I'm sure you're imagining things."

"I really don't think I am. Something's changed."

"Like, a bad change?" James asked apprehensively.

"Not necessarily. I haven't figured it out yet."

"Figured what out?"

James, Carlos and Logan all looked up quickly. Kendall was standing in the doorway of the living room, frowning slightly. Him walking in through the front door had gone unheard amongst their conversation. James swallowed nervously. "Nothing," Carlos replied breezily.

James wondered how much he might have actually heard. But he chose not to mention it and quickly asked, "How are you?"

"I'm good. You'll never guess what!" Kendall said gleefully, spinning a little before moving to sit beside James. He was still wearing his jeans and tee, which James would've assumed would be cold out in the night. But he was also wearing a large leather jacket, the end of the sleeves only showing the tips of his fingers.

"Just tell us, blondie," Carlos said to him dismissively, though he looked interested. Logan looked less interested, but was stll paying attention to the scene.

"I've got a boyfriend!" Kendall's cheeks were flushed pink.

James' jaw dropped. He felt something inside him tremble; he wasn't entirely sure what it was. "You . . . what?"

"A boyfriend!" Kendall continued in delight, clearly on top of the world. It was funny; with everything that had happened, James had forgotten all about Dak. He'd also forgotten that Kendall was never one to grieve over exes for long. He was still Kendall. "His name's Jett. He's really hot, and really sweet, and funny—"

"And you know all this how . . .?" Logan questioned him, eyebrows raised.

"I ran into him when I was out. Obviously I was upset and a little lost and a bit scared when he showed up out of nowhere. Then he saw I was crying and asked me what was wrong. We just got to talking for a while, and one thing led to another . . ."

"You _fucked?!_ " Carlos said incredulously, eyes almost bulging out of his skull.

"No, no!" Kendall shook his head, laughing. "As if I'd give myself up that easily, I only just met him."

James and Carlos exchanged brief glances.

"We went back to his place, we just had a drink and we were talking . . . we may have fooled arund a little . . . and kissed a lot . . . but clothes stayed on, I swear. He really gets me, guys. He's different. And he suggested we go out when I get home from school tomorrow, I told him where I'd be." Kendall grinned wider. "And he gave me his jacket so I wouldn't be cold."

"Sounds like a dream," Logan commented sarcastically. "Does he not go to high school like us?"

"Nope." Kendall shook his head. "He graduated already."

James and Carlos exchanged doubtful glances again. "Kendall," James began, somewhat shyly. "How old is Jett, exactly? Did he tell you?"

"Yeah, he did," Kendall replied breezily.

"And?" James persisted. "Is he older than Dak?"

Kendall nodded. "He turned twenty three recently."

Three jaws dropped in the room.

"Guys, come on!" Kendall argued, grabbing the hand of the boy closest to him; James. "Please don't wreck this for me! I know you guys are worried and I get it, really, I would be too but I really like him. I promise I won't do anything stupid, I pinky swear!" He held James' hand tighter. James half wished he would just stop already, but the other half of him prayed and prayed that he wouldn't let go. "Jamie?" Kendall pleaded, bottom lip jutting out, pouting as he always did.

And as he always did, James sighed and gave in. "We won't interfere unless we really think we should. That's a promise."

Kendall huged him delightedly, squealing in joy and to everyone's shock, kissed James right on the cheek. "Thank you so much!"

"Yeah, yeah," James said tiredly, cheeks red. "So, um, d-did you hear what Logan's problem is?"

"No," Kendall said slowly, an eyebrow quirking as he turned towards Logan. "Come on, let's hear it. I have a right to know too, since you two listened in on my deep dark secrets."

James was shocked at how lightly Kendall was treating these secrets, and he could see Carlos and Logan felt the same. He'd been keeping it bottled up since he came to live with them. Longer, even. Since he was seven years old, really, he'd kept this horrific story shut away inside of him, cracking him from the inside out. And yet here he was, laughing about a cute boy he'd met and acting like Carlos and Logan listening to him confiding in James was just a minor teenage issue.

Carlos and Logan explained the story, just as they had to James. Logan, oddly, looked very liberated as he confessed what he'd also been hiding for quite some time. When they finished, he gave a slightly relieved sigh and sat back in his chair. "So, that's it."

"That's why you cut?"

Logan flinched slightly at the bluntness of Kendall's words, but nodded. "Yeah. That's why. Not my brightest idea, I know . . ."

"Hey, we all have those days. Now," Kendall clapped his hands, rubbing them together in a comical impression of any children's movie villain, before continuing, "What are we going to do about it?"

Logan's eyes widened. "I don't want you to do anything! It'll only cause more trouble."

"Of course it won't," Kendall argued. "We'll teach 'em a lesson! We're good at that. Me and Carlos do it to each other all the time."

"That is true," Carlos couldn't help nodding in agreement. "We are great at that."

"Guys, please—" Logan pleaded.

"Logan, it's okay," James said soothingly, hands up in a gesture of surrender. "We won't interfere, okay? We promise. It's your business and not ours." Kendall and Carlos gaped at him, outraged, but he didn't turn towards them.

Logan grinned immediately, instantly trusting James' kind eyes and reassuring smile. James was always the reliable one. He always had been and always would be. "Okay . . . thank you." He stood up, picking up his backpack. "Guys, I can tell you're bored of your school work and you wanna make lots of noise, so I'll leave you to it. I'll finish my catching up in my room, kay?"

As soon as Logan left and his soft footsteps were heard making their way up the stairs, Carlos lunged across the room and pounced down where James and Kendall were sitting, right between them both. "James! What's wrong with you?! We have to help him!"

"I know we do."

"I get that you're all goody-goody and shit but seriously— what?" Carlos frowned. "What did you say?"

James gave a slighlt smirk, unable to help relishing in the way Kendall and Carlos were staring at him like he'd just had a completely new makeover. "I said, I know we have to help him. And we will. We just have to be subtle about it. No offence, but if there's one thing you two lack, it's subtlety."

Carlos opened his mouth, looking like he wanted to argue with that, then he sighed, closed his mouth again, and nodded in grudging agreement. Kendall jumped up and moved around Carlos and James, sitting on James' other side and eagerly looking up at him. "So Jay, what's the plan?"

"It's simple," James replied breezily, sneakily beaming at the attention he was receiving from both sides. "Logan's got his schedule upstairs, Kendall can go take a look at it so we'll know where he is every class tomorrow. He's a total nerd so chances are if he's got a free period it's in study hall, where he's safe. We can look at his classes and make sure that at least two of us are always around between classes. And if those assholes go for him, we'll be ready, and we'll get them."

"I'm gonna get detention," Carlos sighed dismally. "Again."

"Don't worry, kiddo," Kendall teased, leaning over James to prod him on the shoulder. "We'll keep you company this time."

The next day at school, the four boys kissed Brooke goodbye and went off to school. The previous evening, when Logan had slipped off to the bathroom, Kendall had taken a picture of his timetable with his phone, scrawled on the inside cover of his notebook. The three of them had sat in James and Carlos' room and studied it carefully, putting more work into it than they ever did in most of their homework. By looking at the timetable, they figured that the most likely place and time Logan was targeted was the end of lunchtime, when he always left the cafeteria early to walk to US history, pretty much on the other side of the school. He left about fifteen minutes before the other three did. All they had to do was follow him.

James' class before lunch was English, with Carlos. They left together when the bell rang, arriving in the canteen and seeing Kendall sitting at a table alone. He wasn't eating the lunch Brooke had given him that morning. James sat down with him while Carlos wandered over to the still short lunch queue to buy a cookie. "Kendall," he said sternly as a way of greeting. "Eat your sandwich."

"James, I . . ."

"Kendall." James prodded him, smiling. "You're gonna need energy, after all."

Kendall laughed at that, nodding. "I guess you're right. Sorry." He took out his lunch and began to unwrap it. "I am getting better, though. I swear I am."

"I believe you. There's always room for progress." James opened his own lunch and began to eat, only managing to give Carlos and Logan a brief smile with his mouth full when they both sat down, one after each other.

The chatted as they ate their lunch, but constantly thinking about the plan the were going to enforce. Well, except for Logan, of course. Later on, he glanced at his watch and packed up his bag, standing up. "I'm gonna get going," he announced, smiling and waving as he stepped back from the table. "See you guys after school?"

"Bye, Logan," they all said simultaneously, waving and smiling innocently. He rolled his eyes and left the cafeteria.

"Wait two minutes exactly," Kendall announced, taking out his phone. "Then we follow him."

They packed up their stuff and sat completely still for the remaining time. Then the three of them left the cafeteria, making their way down the hallway in cautious but brisk steps. For a moment, James wildly imagined time dragging in a dramatic form, the three of them strutting down the hallway in slow motion, wearing black jackets and fancy sunglasses with tight and badass expressions set in their faces. Then they heard laughter. Nasty, cruel laughter, from boys in James' grade.

And they turned the corner to see Logan shoved up against a locker with a senior footballer holding his shirt tightly. "Hey!" James exclaimed, rage brimming up inside of him. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

* * *

 

James slumped down on his chair, still a little out of breath. He felt a bit of pain in his side, but he'd get over it. The teacher supervising them had just left the room to do something undoubtedly more important than keeping an eye on kids in detention. They were all there; the four of them. And the footballers. the footballers who seemed very uninterested in Logan, thankfully.

The silence rang out awkwardly out in the room.

"Thanks, guys," Logan said at last, slightly breathless as he turned to grin at Carlos on his right, then Kendall and James sitting in front of him. "Really, I know I said not to interfere . . . but I appreciate it."

"No problem, Logie," Carlos replied with a grin, sitting back in his chair. "Once we get out of detention, we can all go home and celebrate. I'm not sure exactly how yet, but we can figure something out."

"Definitely," Kendall agreed. "We can get to that later. But first . . ." He turned around on his seat, turning to face everyone else in the room and demanded, in a loud voice to catch all attention, "During that fight, which one of you grabbed my ass?!"

For a few seconds, there was complete silence and complete stillness in the room. Then, somewhere at the back, a footballer bit his lip hard and raised his hand. Immediately after, another boy did. And another two. James sighed in defeat, and raised his hand just to shoulder level. Kendall gaped at him, and so did Carlos and Logan. Then Carlos threw back his head and laughed loudly. "Oh wow, that is just so good!"

James' cheeks were bright red. So were Kendall's, as he turned back around to face the front and giggled a little, one hand over his mouth. He was so fucking cute, goddammit.

Then James turned around and caught Carlos' eye. Carlos was smirking at him, waggling his eyebrows and winking. James raised his eyebrows and mouthed, "What?"

Carlos blurted out in a mere couple of seconds, "I know what's going on with you now." Then he quickly looked down as Kendall and Logan both turned to glance at him in confusion. It was only as they looked away again that Carlos looked up and grinned at James. James glared at him, mouthing "What?!" with much more emphasis this time.

Carlos rolled his eyes. Then he raised his hands. He pointed to James. Then he formed a little heart with his hands and batted his eyelashes. Then, he pointed forward and jabbed his fingers in Kendall's direction. Naturally, as he was a teenage boy with a narrow attention span and had always been a bit scattered, James took a little while to process this. Then his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. Quite a change from walking in slow motion.

_Oh. **Fuck.**_


	10. Chapter 10

The four boys were full of chatter on the bus on the way home from school. James joined in and largely contributed to the conversation, but he couldn't get his mind of his latest discovery. He liked Kendall. He should've realised; it was fairly obvious now that it had been confirmed for him. The fact that he could never bring himself to say no every time that pouty bottom lip jutted out and those green eyes batted at him pitifully. Or all those times he may or may not have walked in on Kendall with guys totally by accident, only to see him on his hands and knees or laid out on his back or curled at his lover's crotch with a dick between his lips. Totally accidental. And it didn't turn him on, not even a little. At least that was what he'd told himself until now. Now he realised that it totally did, and he felt like a total pervert for it.

Was it wrong to have feelings for him? Was it disgusting and immoral?

He had no idea.

"If they bother you again, tell us," Carlos told Logan firmly as their bus stop came into view. "Okay? Promise you'll tell us."

"I promise." Logan chuckled and stood up when the bus slowed to a stop. Then James realised that he hadn't put in his iPod headphones once. Another revelation of the day, it seemed. The four made their way off the bus and started their walk into the estate.

Kendall was wearing the leather jacket again. James didn't know why he hadn't noticed before, but now it stuck up like a sore thumb. It did look really good on him; no wonder Jett had let him borrow it. As far as turn ons went, he had to admit that his boyfriend or girlfriend wearing his clothes had always had a high place on the list. Though he had nothing nearly as universally attractive as a leather jacket in his wardrobe. No varsity jackets either. He did have a cotton one. His sweatshirts were nice enough. His mind began to unconsciously form an image of Kendall dressed in his blue striped hoodie. And yet for some reason, his mind couldn't conjure up any more clothes. Oh well, he could leave him like that. Fantasy Kendall winked at him and swayed his hips. _Fuck_.

Real life Kendall was chattering and walking along, backpack swinging on his shoulder. He wan't sure which he found more appealing.

"Baby!"

The four boys stopped and turned to see a tall young man walking towards them. He wore a blue t-shirt and ripped jeans, his sandy coloured hair gelled up neatly. James knew instantly who this was. His bulging biceps looked as though they fit that leather jacket perfectly. Kendall gave some kind of excited squeak and hurried over to him, lunging and hugging him around the neck. "Hi Jett!"

James had seen plenty of guys Kendall was involved with. Dak had been one of the only somewhat long term ones. And yet Kendall seemed so much more smitten now, so girly and giggly and blushing as he pecked Jett on the lips chastely and hugged him around the waist, head resting happily on his chest. Jett hugged him back, swaying them a little and grinning down at him. "I waited at the bus stop for a while but you didn't show."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I completely forgot, I had to help my friend Logan and I had detention."

"He's cute," Logan murmured to the other two, surpringly. He was smirking a little. "I approve, I guess."

Carlos looked as though he felt the opposite, his jaw clenched. But he didn't go over, and didn't say anything. James just watched in despair.

"I'll see you guys later!" Kendall called to them, waving before walking off with his arm loosely draped around Jett's waist, the man's arm wrapped around his shoulders. He dwarfed Kendall in both height and build. As they were walking, he gave Kendall a little squeeze and moved his hand up to ruffle his hair affectionately. Kendall squeaked and laughed and batted his hand away. Jett kissed him.

James sighed. "Guys, can we just go home?"

"Yeah, let's go," Carlos agreed, nodding pointedly and turning to keep going down the sidewalk. James and Logan followed, and it was only when they were a good distance away from the retreating couple that Carlos spat out, "That bastard."

"What's wrong with you?" Logan inquired, eyebrows raised.

"You remember when I came home with that bloody nose because some gang gave me shit for walking in their patch." The two nodded. "That's his gang. He's the leader, he just watched them and smiled as they all came at me!"

"You're kidding," James exclaimed, jaw dropping. He was somewhat gleeful that Kendall's new boyfriend was now undoubtedly nothing but trouble. But he also felt sympathy fr him, because he did seem quite happy with him. Fantasy Kendall gave him a grateful smile, a little giggle and slid his fingers to the zipper of his hoodie. _Screw it._ "We have to tell him."

"We will. Later. Let the dude buttfuck him first if he wants it."

"Carlos."

Carlos laughed and walked on, whistling. Logan followed instantly, smiling at him as they walked together. James trailed along behind them, wishing he wasn't walking alone. They got back to those and he immediately focused all attention on his homework so he didn't feel like such a loser. This was unsuccessful.

Eventually, Kendall arrived with pink cheeks, slightly swollen lips and sparkly eyes. James wanted to rip that goddamn leather jacket to shreds. And maybe burn it afterwards. "How was your date?" Logan asked, glancing up briefly before going back to his calculus.

"Amazing!" Kendall swooned, sitting on the couch next to James and lying back with a happy sigh. "He's just so sweet. I'm crazy for him, guys."

"We guessed," Carlos deadpanned.

James couldn't take it anymore. Self control had always been something he, well, sucked at. "Kendall, we have something to tell you."

Kendall beamed at him. "What is it, Jamie?"

Oh god, I can't do this. James swallowed nervously, clearing his throat. "Well, um . . . honestly, we think Jett is trouble. Big trouble."

Kendall sighed. "James, what did you guys say yest—"

"Yeah I know, but it's different now." James gestured towards Carlos as he spoke. "Jett's in charge of the gang that beat Carlos and gave him that bloody nose for being in their territory. It was his orders, or at least his approval."

"Kendall, if you've got common sense, you'll stay away," Carlos added firmly.

Kendall's eyes were wide, his mouth a little shaky. He glanced from James, to Carlos, to Logan, and back to Carlos. He clamped his lips together. James wanted to hug him, wanted to give him a little pat (or maybe a kiss) on the head and cuddle him for a while until he felt better. But then Kendall spoke, arms folded tight over his chest. "No."

"No?" Carlos raised his eyebrows.

"No," Kendall repeated. "Look, Carlos, I get what you're saying, honestly. And I'm sorry they did that to you. But I'm not . . . I'm not trespassing on his turf, I'm not his rival. I'm his boyfriend. There's a difference there."

"But that's not the point—"

"It's exactly the point! He's not going to give me a bloody nose and neither will his friends, why would they? I haven't even met his friends yet, and maybe I will but there is literally no reason for anything like that to happen. Don't you see?"

James wanted to slap Kendall silly. He also wanted to shove him down and kiss him so hard their lips bled and his only thought afterwards was, _Jett Who?_

He didn't do either of those things. Kendall got up and left the room, carrying his backpack behind him and going upstairs. The bedroom door slammed above their heads. Logan sighed. "Well, good try, I guess."

"Maybe he's right," Carlos said at last, sighing in defeat and running a hand through his cropped hair. "It's a fair point when you think about it."

"Are you insane?!" James demanded. "He is totally wrong! That guy is trouble and he's going to cause all kinda of shit and—"

"James. We know. You wanna bang him, we get it."

James and Carlos gaped at Logan, who was sittg there casually with a hand draped on the arm of the couch. "How do you know?" James demanded. "Nobody told you."

"I just know. It's really obvious," Logan replied offhandedly, shrugging and smirking. "You've totally got the hots for him."

"It's not just that, okay," James snapped. "I . . ." He blushed. "I like him. A lot. I didn't realise until now, which was pretty dumb, but now that I do know everything I've been doing since he moved in with us just makes sense. Obviously I'm attracted to him. He's attractive and I'm a teenage boy with needs, got it? But he's cute and he's funny and he's smart and nice. He's just . . ." James sighed. "Nice is the lamest word ever and my English teacher would cut me in two for using it, but, yeah."

"Do you think he realises?" Carlos asked, looking at Logan. "You seem to have everyone sussed out here."

Logan shook his head. "Definitely not. Not that he's an idiot. Well . . . maybe a little. He's just really naive, and I know it sounds nuts but a little innocent too. It wouldn't occur to him that you like him. We're friends in a weird way and we hang out all the time and we live together and your mom adopted him. He calls her Mom too, plus he's got guys all over him. Why would he notice?"

"I'm a little hurt by that remark."

"James, you're great. And he knows that. It'll just take him a while to know it in that way."

By the time the following week came around, James had had it up to his eyeballs with Jett this, Jett that. Not that Kendall talked about him constantly or anything like that; he just left with him, every single day after school. Some days he came back after only an hour, other times he didn't return until after 10pm at night. James wanted to demand he tell him everything they ever did, but he always was unsure of how much he really wanted to know. Would it only bother him more?

He hated that this guy seemed to have such control over Kendall, and maybe not even conscious control. He just had the blond completely wrapped around his little finger; that didn't happen often in Kendall's relationships and it never took a genius to notice it. Something about this guy was apparently so terribly special, and James just didn't understand it.

Right now, miraculously, it was after school and Kendall was with them at the house. He'd only talked with Jett briefly, for maybe twenty minutes or so, before following the others back home. Brooke had laid out a small oven pizza on a plate in the middle of the table for them, and they all took their slice, munching on it appreciatively. Even Kendall. "It's nice to actually see your face at this time of day, you know,' Carlos teased him, "we haven't seen much of you lately."

"Oh." Kendall's cheeks flushed. "Well, yeah."

"It's good to know you feel some amount of self-control, and no longer need to be in King Jett's presence for half the day," James added somewhat bitterly. Carlos rolled his eyes at him.

"Jett invited me to go out with him tomorrow night, actually," Kendall said casually as he nibbled his pizza slice delicately. "One of his friends is having a party and he suggested we go together."

"What's this about a party?" Brooke enquired, walking back into the room. Kendall's cheeks flushed. "Well?"

"Kendall's going to a party with his boyfriend Jett," Carlos answered for him, sounding bored with the whole situation.

"Oh really." Brooke folded her arms, eyebrows raised. "Tell me about Jett, Kendall. And you'd better tell me the truth because you know I'll get it out of these three euther way." She gestured to James, Carlos and Logan, who sat and munched their snack innocently.

Kendall sighed, wringing his fingers. "Well, um . . . I met him about two weeks ago, we've met up almost every day since. He lives at the end of the estate, near the apartment blocks . . ."

"And?"

"He's . . ." Kendall cleared his throat. "He's twenty . . ."

"Three years ago," Carlos clarified, smirking at Kendall and giving James a subtle smile. James smiled gratefully back at him. Kendall scowled.

"I see." Brooke looked unimpressed. "This friend who's throwing the party. Have you met him?"

"No."

"Do you know anything about him?"

"Not really . . ."

"Well then." Brooke beamed at him, snatching a stray pepperoni slice off the plate and popping it into her mouth. "It's settled. You're not going."

"Mom!" Kendall was outraged. "Come on, this is so unfair! I went to parties back in Palmwoods and you never said shit!"

"Correction, I did say plenty, you just ignored me. However, I didn't forbid you. This time I am. You're not going to a party full of strangers in their twenties, I'm just not allowing it."

"I already told him I'd go," Kendall pleaded.

"Well, now you can tell him you're not. Sorry, sweetie." She ruffled his hair. "It's for your own good."

Kendall sighed mournfully, folding his arms. Brooke left the room, calling that she was going to take a shower and not to break anything in the meantime. Kendall glared at Carlos. "Thanks a lot."

"It's like she said," Carlos shrugged, finishing off his pizza. "It's for your own good. You'll thank me later."

"I will not!" Kendall got up and stormed out, swears and rants echoing through the hallway as he disappeared upstairs. Another door slamming. Carlos gave a long, mournful sigh. Then he shrugged and snatched Kendall's unfinished food from his plate, gobbling it up. "Oh well."

* * *

 

"Bye, boys," Brooke said, kissing all of their heads in turn on Saturday evening, even Logan's. "I'll be back around twelve. There's leftovers for dinner in the fridge. Be good!" And off she went, shutting the door behind her.

Kendall went back to reading, looking bored with life and everyone else in it. For some short duration of the evening he conversed with them, ate a bit of dinner with them, laughed with them. But he seemed to get fed up with that fairly quickly. "I'm going upstairs," Kendall announced, getting up from the living room couch. The others' attention was barely moved from the TV. "Gonna take a shower." He went off upstairs.

Logan stared blankly at the television screen. "This show is so dumb, what even is this?"

Carlos just shrugged, staring harder at it.

"Ay idea where my book is?" Logan asked them. "You know, the one on medical history of America? _Guys!_ "

"No," they both replied dully. "Go look in your room," James added, eyes and mouth opening wide as something supposedly amazing happened on screen. "What the fuck is that!"

Logan sighed and left the room. "Neanderthals," he mumbled crossly, going upstairs.

Then he walked into his and Kendall's room and stopped, eyes wide. "Hey."

Kendall looked up, startled. Logan had expected to hear the shower running as he passed the bathroom and had been mildly suspicious when he didn't. Now he saw Kendall on the bed, holding a little mirror in front of him as he brushed his blond hair into place. He had a little eyeliner perfectly applied, dressed in tight black shorts and an equally tight white v-neck, boots on his feet. He wore Jett's leather jacket, again. He was more than a little suspicious. "You're sneaking out."

Kendall stood up defiantly, putting the mirror down and stepping over to Logan. "So what if I am?"

Logan gulped. He didn't like to admit that Kendall sometimes made him a little nervous when he got stubborn about something. James and Carlos' height on comparison to him was never hugely intimidating. He'd never really been put off by them. But Kendall's little inch extra made a whole lot of difference. "So what if I tell Carlos and James and they tie you down?" he retorted, folding arms. "Suck it, blondie."

Kendall just laughed, shaking his head a little. "No, no. You won't tell."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because if you do," Kendall was suddenly much too close to him. His breath smelt very minty, and Logan suspected he was chewing gum as usual. Why was he focusing on that of all things?! "You know what's gonna happen to all your stuff?" He gestured to Logan's shelf; the books, photo albums from when he was a kid, old Christmas and birthday presents he'd been given by his mother. "I'm gonna take it all and burn it. Got it?"

"I-I can hide it—"

"I can find it. It's a small house, squirt. Trust me on this." Kendall pushed Logan aside and stepped towards the door, glancing back over his shoulder. "Now, let's try this again." He smiled sweetly. "You won't tell, will you?"

Logan glared at him. Then he turned and glanced at his shelf of prized possessions. He bit his lip. "N-no . . ."

"That's better."

"But you have to promise you'll be home before twelve," Logan added hastily. "I can't cover for you when Brooke gets home, you know that."

"Whatever." Kendall chuckled. "There's way too many references to me as Cinderella lately. I'd tell James about this one, but . . ." He smirked. "Thanks, Logie!" And off he went.

Logan sighed resignedly, watching him tiptoe down the stairs and following him with much less cautious footsteps. Kendall snuck off to the kitchen and towards the back door. Logan opened the sitting room door, going in and sitting back down. "I couldn't find it," he sighed. "Oh well, I'm sure it's up there somewhere." He turned his attention to the television and sat back, cold dread in the pit of his stomach. But as long as Kendall was home before Brooke, nothing could go wrong. James and Carlos didn't question Kendall's absence, assuming he was sulking upstairs.

Time passed. Logan glanced at his watch every now and again, telling himself to keep calm. Carlos went out to the kitchen to get a snack. It was very late.

Carlos walked back into the living room slowly, a frown on his face. "Carlos, you okay?" James said, glancing sideways at him. Logan avoided his gaze and stared hard at the television screen.

"We normally keep the key for the back door on the shelf by the plates, right?" Carlos asked. Logan's eye twitched.

"Yeah, always. Why?"

"It was in the door. And I checked, it's unlocked." Carlos folded his arms. Logan swallowed nervously. "Do you think . . .?"

James' eyes widened and he sat up. "Fuck."

"Logan." Logan looked up, sweating. Carlos was staring down at him. "If I go upstairs and search for Kendall, am I going to find him?" he questioned.

"I don't know," Logan replied and smiled nervously. "How w-would I know?"

" _Logan._ "

"Okay, fine!" Logan covered his face. "He snuck out, alright! He got all dressed up and snuck out the back door!"

"You knew and you didn't tell us?!" James yelled at him, hand tugging at his hair in distress. "Are you crazy?! It's almost twelve, he's been gone for hours!"

"It's a party, of course he is . . ."

_"Logan!"_

"He threatened to burn everything," Logan wailed dismally. "All my stuff, my books and my photos and everything, he said he'd wreck it all if I ratted him out! I'm s-sorry!"

"Hey, hey." Carlos gave him a brief hug and patted the howling Logan on the back a little awkwardly. "He wouldn't do that, Loges . . . I don't think so. I mean, he's a total bitch but he's not evil."

Logan sniffled, drying his eyes. I'm sorry . . ."

Carlos looked up at James, who sighed huffily. "It's okay, I guess," he muttered. "Look, we have to go and get him right now. Forget about being in trouble with Mom or whatever, he could need our help. And even if he doesn't, he's gonna be grounded for eternity." James grabbed the spare key for the front door. "Carlos, go lock the back door. Let's get going. "He grabbed his blue striped hoodie and put it on, zipping it up. He knew it'd be chilly out. Logan put on his jacket, hands trembling slightly. When Carlos returned he did the same thing, but without fear. James locked the door securely behind them and they marched off into the cold, and because of the lack of working street laps, dark night.

"He said it was at the end, near the apartment blocks," James said as they walked, looking at Carlos. "You were there, right? You know where it is?"

Carlos nodded and led the way. However, within a mere couple of minutes, it became no mystery as to where the party was. They could hear the music from where they were and couldn't even see the place yet.

When they got there, the music was already giving James a bit of a headache. He spotted someone lying on the front lawn, snoring. Another two were nearby, rolling around and moaning as they kissed each other sloppily. Empty bottles and cans and red cups littered the grass. "I don't wanna go in there," Logan admitted at last, gripping Carlos' arm.

"Neither do I," James replied. Then he marched forward and stormed in through the front door, the music instantly becoming deafening. He smelled alcohol and pot and vomit and felt dizzy. People were laughing all around him, some chattering in slurred sentences that didn't make much sense. Others were making out or grinding against each other, mildly in time with the music. He rolled his eyes and the three stood huddled together in their small space of hallway. "We'll search downstairs first," he instructed. "I'll look in the living room, Logan can check the kitchen and Carlos can go out to the backyard. Come back here when you're done." And off he went with determined strides.

The living room was totally packed; James had to squeeze himself in between two girls who were swaying their hips erotically and waving their bottles of beer in the air. He suddenly spotted Jett, slouched back in an armchair with a girl by his head, breasts practically bouncing off his cheeks she was leaning so close to him. He had a blunt balanced between his lips. He wasn't wearing a shirt. James stormed over to him. "Jett!"

"Hmm?"

"Where's Kendall?"

"Who?"

"Kendall!" James grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Your boyfriend, you fucker!"

"Ohh, him." Jett grinned, chuckling. "Man, he's sexy. Isn't he sexy?"

"Yeah, very. Where is he?"

"He gives a _great_ handjob—"

"Where is he?!"

"Oh." Jett slouched back, shutting. "I dunno." The girl pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. He grinned. James growled and stormed out of the room, back into the hallway. Logan was already there, and a few seconds later Carlos appeared too.

"No luck?" James shouted to them over the music. They both shook heir heads. "Okay. Let's look upstairs, he must be there."

They made their way upstairs past some drunken stragglers and into the hallway. The lights were switched off upstairs, a few couples huddled on the floor. Logan stood nervously in the middle, glancing at the doors of the hallway. "Do we really have to open the doors? I know I'm gonna be grossed out by the inhabitants of at least one."

"Don't be such a prude," Carlos snapped, throwing open the first door. It was the bathroom; someone was vomiting into the toilet, someone else's evidence of bad aim splattered on the floor all around them. It wasn't Kendall. They shut the door. Carlos opened the next one and saw two girls and a guy rolling around on the bed, all totally naked. He rolled his eyes, glancing around the room. "Nope." He shut the door again.

He opened the third door and peered inside. No couples on the bed. But the room reeked of alcohol and, more strongly, sex. "Guys, he's in here." The three hurried inside and shut the door after them, blocking the music out just a little. Kendall was curled up on the bed, blanket wrapped around him. He looked to be asleep, but when the three made their way closer to him he owned his eyes suddenly, looking up and blinking at them. He had a busted lip, and red marks of hands on his neck, arms and thighs, the blanket only feebly wrapped around his middle. His eyes were unfocused. His clothes were scattered on the floor, his shirt torn. His socks were still on his feet, and James could only stare at them a little numbly for a few seconds.

"Guys." Kendall's voice was hoarse. He blinked sleepily at them, trying to sit up. "How'd you know I was here?" he slurred, arms twitching feebly.

"Jesus, Kendall," Carlos said in disgust, lifting him into a siting position and pulling him to the edge of the bed. "What did they give you?"

Kendall shrugged, breathing hard. He scrunched his face up and looked as though he was trying to remember. "Okay, new question. Who did this?"

Kendall looked up at the three or them, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. Then he lifted a hand and weakly pointed to the bedside table. There was a phone there. It wasn't Kendall's, James realised as he picked it up. Kendall didn't have a smartphone. He checked to see the most recent apps used, and saw camera. He clicked into it and went to the camera roll, seeing a video had been taken. "What is it?" Logan asked, looking over his shoulder. Carlos did the same on his other side. James swallowed nervously and clicked play.

Instantly the room was filled with the sound of loud masculine laughter and some appreciative moans. The camera was held in a shaky hand, held above Kendall's body. He was lying spread-eagled on the bed, hands above his head as one of the guys gripped them tightly in his hands. He was rolling his naked hips against Kendall's cheek, but the blond's mouth was turned away from him to another boy at the other side of his head, who was gripping him hard by the neck and shoving his dick between his lips, moaning. Kendall's eyelids were drooped, his chest heaving. James noticed the faint strain in his arms as he tried to struggle. He felt nauseous. _"Hey, come on, give me a turn!"_ the cameraman laughed, the picture shifting past Kendall's mid-section — where two more shafts were sliding through his hands — to where the man at the end was slamming into him and grunting, nails gripping his pale thighs, tearing them. The voice was Jett's.

The three boys' attention was diverted from this little homemade porno when they heard retching and saw Kendall throwing up all over the floor, effectively destroying Jett's leather jacket. He shivered, tugging the blanket tighter around him and wiping at his chest. James saw faint little droplets of white and shuddered.

"That's disgusting," Logan choked, eyes still focused on the iPhone screen in a kind of numb horror. James glanced back to see Jett had handed the camera to the man by Kendall's head so there was a full view of him sliding in. But the camera tilted down to show Kendall's face, the faint shine of tears on his cheeks and the choked sounds he was making as the man squeezed his neck tighter and thrust harder against him. James clicked the trash can icon and erased it immediately, feeling his hands shake violently. He glanced at the camera roll and saw photos; one of Kendall lying on the bed looking dazed, only wearing his shorts and one of Jett's friends hovering above him and unbuttoning his jeans. He deleted those too and tossed the phone onto the floor.

"Those were the guys," Carlos said to him a little numbly. "The ones that got me . . ."

Kendall looked as though he might throw up again. He looked up at them with that unfocused gaze and blinked a few times, coughing and frowning. "Let's get him out of here," James decided quickly, reaching down to the floor and grabbing Kendall's shorts. He had no idea where Kendall's underwear was or if he'd even worn any but he didn't care. He slid them up Kendall's legs, going slower on his thighs so as not to hurt him. Kendall bit his bleeding lip hard and whimpered a little, clutching onto him. "Here you go," Logan said softly and gently, putting Kendall's boots on for him. "More Cinderella references to add for you, Blondie."

Kendall gave a weak smile and a laugh, hiccuping at the end. "He's got no shirt," Carlos said to the two of them, frowning.

"He can have my hoodie," James suggested, taking it off and putting it on Kendall's smaller frame. "It zips up all the way." He zipped it up and covered Kendall's torso and arms. The sleeves were a little long and the end of it slipped down past his hips, but he looked cosy. However, this wasn't how he'd pictured it at all. He helped Kendall to his feet. "You can walk?"

Kendall just shrugged, and they led him out of the room and down the stairs. He had a little trouble with those, stumbling in his drugged up state, but James scooped him up and carried him down the rest of the way, before placing him back on the ground floor. "Guys," Logan called worriedly over the music. "I hear sirens." Suddenly in the hallway, there was one of the men, laughing and waving his red cup around. "Hey sexy, there you are!" he roared, making a move to touch Kendall's shoulder. Kendall let out a wild scream and stumbled backwards, crashing into Logan and falling against the wall. Carlos punched the man in the jaw and knocked him flat. "Let's get out of here," he said, clearing a path to the door and hurrying them all out. James could heard the police sirens getting louder as they made their way down the path and onto the sidewalk. Kendall stumbled after them slowly, but they held him up for support and made their way steadily away from the house. The music began to get quieter.

None of them knew quite what to say. Eventually Logan muttered a little awkwardly, "I didn't mean to rat you out, Kendall. I was just worried."

Kendall shook his head, mouth opening but only a little squeak came out. He coughed and them managed to utter a few weak words. "You were right to. I was stupid." As they walked a little more, he said a little more. "Naive. You were right all along." Another few steps. "I'm sorry." A weak whisper, and yet it had the biggest impact on them all. James wanted to sob and hug Kendall and tell him he'd be okay. But he kept supporting him quietly and kept walking. Eventually Carlos said, "it's okay, Kendall. We all make mistakes."

Kendall gave him a watery smile.

Brooke was waiting for them when they got back, looming up from the couch and appearing much taller and bigger when they walked in. "Boys!" she shrieked, face red. "Where on earth were you?! Do you know how worried I was when I came home and found you all gone?"

"We went to get Kendall," James told her. He hated of course, to be the one to tell. But it didn't take a genius to figure out they hadn't exactly gone on a trip to the library. The smell of alcohol stuck to the thin fabric of his t-shirt.

"Went to get Kendall." Brooke turned to face Kendall, glaring at him. "I expect better from you! I told you you couldn't go!"

Kendall hung his head.

"You deliberately disobeyed me, Kendall. I'm really disappointed in you. And angry." She folded her arms, huffing. "Alright, go upstairs to bed right now! You are grounded for three weeks, that means straight home from school every day, no going out with the others, no going out with your boyfriend, no going out alone, no going out period! Got it?!"

Any other time, James was sure there would've been a bloody massacre over this punishment. Brooke was clearly expecting it, chest puffed out, ready to take him on in a fight to the death if necessary, but Kendall just nodded and slumped upstairs, footsteps so much quieter than usual. Brooke gave the boys a puzzled look. "It's been a long night," Carlos told her, before going upstairs too. James and Logan followed, and they heard her switching off the lights and going upstairs too.

"Well," Logan said at last as they stood in the hallway. "Goodnight, guys."

"Goodnight, Logan," they both replied, watching as Logan disappeared into his and Kendall's bedroom and shut the door, before heading into their own.


	11. Chapter 11

"Boys, what happened last night?"

James, Carlos and Logan exchanged awkward glances. They were sitting at the table with bowls of cereal or slices of toast in front of them. James' breakfast included a large cup of coffee; he hadn't slept much the night before. His thoughts had been running too wild. He was frustrated that he'd erased that video instead of taking the phone and reporting what happened. But he'd been too angry to consider any other option, and he had a bad feeling that the police would've done very little. They tended to never prioritise areas like this. That morning he'd woken up from his couple of hours' sleep with a headache and bags under his eyes. He saw Logan and Carlos also looked exhausted, and wondered if the same things had been going through their minds.

Kendall hadn't come down for breakfast. Logan, at Brooke's request, had asked him twice. Then Brooke had gone up and asked him herself, perhaps assuming it was one of his bouts of anorexia kicking in. However, he'd refused her too.

When nobody answered her question and James just took a sip of his coffee while Carlos and Logan took bites of their foods to occupy their mouths elsewhere, Brooke sighed and asked again. "What happened? I know Kendall's one for sulking but this isn't sulking. You boys were there, weren't you? You went to get him. You must know."

"We don't know all the details," Carlos replied at last, taking a butter knife and cutting the crusts off his toast, dumping them on Logan's plate. He liked the crusts the best. "He had a fight with Jett, I think. You know, his boyfriend."

"Oh dear." Brooke sighed sympathetically. "Young love. It's full of grief, isn't it?"

 _You can say that again_ , James thought dismally to himself.

"Well, I told him going to that party was a bad idea," she continued. "He must be so hungover. He looked completely hammered when he came back last night."

"He was a bit sick," Logan added in a little hastily, taking one of Carlos' crusts and nibbling on the end. It jutted from his mouth looking a little like a cigarette. "He must've had tons to drink. Beer, vodka, whatever the heck there was, who knows . . ."

Carlos quickly nudged Logan with his foot to get him to stop talking. He did so immediately, eating his crusts and taking a gulp of orange juice. He licked his lips and smiled bashfully.

"Do you think I was a bit harsh on him?" Brooke asked at last. "Three weeks is a lot, and if he fought with his boyfriend maybe they want to make up, I mean—"

"Mom, no," Carlos cut in, a reassuring tone in his voice. "I'm sure he'll be alright. If Jett wants to make it up with him, surely he'll wait for him at the bus stop and they can talk on the way home, no going out necessary. It's fine."

"If you say so." Brooke stood up and took her bowl to the sink, hand rested on her slightly rounded belly for support. "Dan is picking me up today, I'm going to the doctor and then I'm just going to take him for a quick bit of lunch, to make up for him being so helpful with the furniture and everything."

"The van guy?" James said incredulously, broken out of his silence at last. "I thought we'd seen the last of him."

"James, none of that," Brooke warned, a little teasingly. "We're good friends and I just want to offer him a thank you. Plus it fits with my appointment being on the same day. You'll behave yourselves, won't you? Finish your homework and stuff?"

"We will, don't worry," Logan told her. "And we'll enforce your grounding rules too, kay?"

"Okay," Brooke chuckled, heading towards the door of the kitchen. "I'm off to take a shower and get myself ready. Thanks boys. Don't forget to clean up!" And she left the room.

The three boys tidied up their things and did the washing up as they were asked. "Do you think she likes him?" James asked as he stacked the clean plates back on the shelf while Logan put away the glasses and mugs. "You know, Dan."

Carlos shrugged, sliding the spoons and knives into the right drawer and shutting it behind him, hopping up and sitting on the counter. "Maybe. She's single, he's probably single, she doesn't have any time to find a guy to date. Why not?"

"But he probably doesn't want a baby," James said worriedly. "Or four teenage sons. Even one is a handful, who the hell would want four?"

"Uh, your mom?" Logan retorted, rolling his eyes. "Duh, idiot."

James whipped him on the back of the head with a dishcloth.

"Maybe she doesn't mind that," Carlos said reasonably. "I mean, I'm sure she knows herself that he probably isn't interested in anything long term. She's pregnant, not stupid."

"I guess so," James sighed, leaning against the counter and resting his elbow casually on Carlos' thigh. "So is this how worried parents feel when their kids start dating?"

"I guess so," Logan shrugged with a chuckle, sitting up on the counter too. "Now, what are we going to do about the princess up in the tower?" He pointed towards the ceiling.

"What can we do?" Carlos shrugged. "We can't make him come out of that slump. We can't tell him it was a mistake anyone could make. We can't tell him anything, really. It won't make it better or make it go away."

"The only thing is, at least this time he might've actually learned his lesson," Logan sighed. "I've gotta admit, I thought it'd feel better than this. This is totally shitty and not the way I wanted it at all."

"How did you want it?" James asked, looking over at him.

"I'm not sure, really. Maybe he met some boy, the boy did something douchy and showed off to his friends about it. Kendall cried a little, wrote a breakup song and got over it. And decided that he wouldn't be any boy's plaything or sex toy anymore."

"That does sound like the ideal ending," Carlos said dismally. "I kind of want that too."

They fell into a kind of grim silence. James felt his feet going slightly numb from standing for so long but he couldn't bring himself to move. Those photos from the smartphone remained glued to the insides of his eyelids. He couldn't forget the image of Kendall lying there on the bed, injured and violated and too dazed to properly notice. How had the event even come about? They must've spiked something he drank. Or maybe they told him it was something less sinister, like a bit of ecstasy, just for fun. Next thing, his head got fuzzy and his breathing got heavier and movement became a lot harder. Had he just laid there when they all got dressed and left again? How long had he even been lying there, he long had he been at that party before it happened?

So many question, and no answers. He'd only get them from one person.

Kendall still hadn't been seen when the doorbell rang. James glanced down the hallway and saw Brooke hurrying over to answer. "Dan," she greeted delightedly when she opened the door, hugging him. "It's so great to see you!"

"Nice to see you too, Brooke," Dan replied a little breathlessly, glasses slightly askew on his nose. "Um, how's the house and the boys and the baby?"

"We've got used to the house and the neighbourhood, it's very homely now. The baby is fine, and my boys are fine too. Boys!" Brooke turned around to face then. "Come say hi to Dan!"

The three boys sloped to the door, smiling in greeting. "Only three?" Dan inquired.

"Oh, Kendall's sleeping in."

Dan didn't look the least bit surprised at that. He greeted each of the boys in turn. "Nice to see you're all doing well."

"And how've you been?" Brooke asked him, giving the boys a sign that they'd been dismissed and were no longer relevant. They retreated into the living room.

"I think it's kind of sweet," Logan said at last to them, keeping his voice down so the two adults outside the room wouldn't hear. "You know, that your mom fancies someone."

"Maybe for you," James replied sullenly, slumping back. "You didn't actually come from her womb."

Logan gagged. "Unnecessary image right there, dude."

James beamed at him.

"Bye, boys!" Brooke called to them, waving. "I'll be back in a few hours!" And it they went, shutting the door behind them. James quickly went to look out the window and saw that Dan was driving a car today, rather than his moving van. He opened the passenger side door for Brooke, smiling bashfully as she grinned at him and got in. He hurried around to the driver's side and tripped over the kerb on his way. James shook his head disapprovingly. "What a twat."

Carlos and Logan, who were looking out on either side of him, both scoffed. "James, if that was you and Kendall," Carlos began, turning to him and raising his eyebrows, "You wouldn't just trip over the kerb. You'd land flat on your face with your butt in the air and break your glasses."

"Carlos, I don't wear glasses," James replied with the last little bit of dignity he could muster.

"Oh, I know. But with you, I'm sure that would happen either way."

James scowled, stepping back from the window. "Whatever. I'm gonna go check on Kendall."

"So soon?" Logan asked, frowning. "He might hurt you. He could still be a bit tense."

"You share a room with him, what was he like when you woke up?" Carlos asked.

"Nothing. He just turned his back to me and acted like he was sleeping. He could've been, I dunno. But he basically ignored me, so . . ."

"Then you've got no proof that he'd still 'tense,'" James countered. "I'll just bring him up a snack or something. No biggie."

"He didn't want breakfast."

"Something sweet, comfort food. We've still got ice cream, haven't we?"

"Yeah, strawberry," Carlos nodded. "It's in the freezer. He said he liked that one, actually. He recommended it, that's why we picked it out."

"Perfect. See you guys in a bit." In an attempt to make a witty exit, James glanced over his shoulder and said, "Don't get too steamy while I'm gone. Control your hormones, Carlos!" And off he went into the kitchen, humming cheerily. He took the pale pink tub of ice cream from the fridge and set it on the counter, the cool droplets from the cardboard surface chilling his hand. He grabbed a dishtowel and wrapped it around the tub, holding it in his hand and fishing two spoons from the top drawer. He was only human, he needed comfort food too.

He headed up the stairs and walked to Kendall and Logan's room. He thought about knocking, but figured he'd get no answer anyway. He opened the door and walked inside. "Kendall?"

Kendall was lying in bed, curled up under the covers. He sat up when James said his name, blinking at him. He have a small sigh before scooting up and sitting properly with his back against the headboard. "Hi . . ."

"Hey," James replied gently, closing the door behind him. "I brought you some ice cream."

Kendall didn't say anything. Th covers were pulled up to his chin.

"I guess, um. I can just leave it here, or I can take it back downstairs . . ."

"No, stay." Kendall crawled out from under the covers as James walked over to the bed. The blond was wearing grey shorts and a black sweater, his hair was a mess and he looked a little pale and tired. He had faint bruises on his thighs, and he held something surprising under his arm in a tender grip; a stuffed cat.

James sat on the bed beside him as Kendall sat with him, leaning back against the wall. "In all the time I've known you, I never knew you had that," James said, pointing to the plushie as he took the lid off the ice cream tub and placed it on the locker beside the bed. He handed Kendall a spoon. It's cute."

"I've had it since I was little," Kendall replied quietly, putting it down on the bed beside him and giving its fake striped fur a little stroke. "I tend to keep it in a box under my bed. I'm a bit old for stuffed animals."

"Does it have a name?"

"Ned." Kendall shrugged. "When I was a kid I liked the name Ned." He reached out and scooped up a lump of ice cream onto his spoon, stuffing it into his mouth. "Fanks," he said, speech impaired by the cold substance over his tongue and teeth.

James grinned, lifting his spoon and taking some too. "No pwoblem."

Kendall gave a little laugh and James' heart began to beat faster. They took another few spoonfuls each in silence. Finally, Kendall gave a small sigh and rested his head back against the wall, shoulder pressing harder against James'. "You know what I really hate?"

"Well, um." James could list it off. "I know that even though you choose to be blond you hate the colour yellow. And swans. You also hate broccoli, and string beans unless they're with cheese. And you hate metal music, you think it's trash—"

"I haven't told you any of that," Kendall said, frowning. "I mean, except the metal music thing . . ."

"I just noticed," James said feebly, cheeks flushing a little as he shrugged.

Kendall gave a shy smile, shutting the ice cream tub and putting it aside with their spoons. "Well, yeah. I do hate those things. But I was talking about last night."

"Oh." James cleared his throat. "Go on."

"We've had talks in school, about those date rape drugs. And one of the huge things they kept telling us was that they could wipe your memory clean." Kendall's mouth drooped. "That didn't happen to me. I remember everything. I wish it did happen, I don't want to remember."

"I wouldn't want to either." James gave him a hug. "I guess . . . I guess it's over, between you two?"

Kendall nodded quickly. "Over as it could be. No more boys."

"None at all?"

"Well . . . not like this. Not anymore. I can't take it, I . . ." Kendall sniffled, wiping at his eyes furiously. "I'm through with that. I . . . I'm not a toy."

"Exactly, you're not. You only realised it now?"

"Pretty much. It took all of them acting it out in the most extreme measures for me to see it, but that's what I've been. An object." Kendall gritted his teeth. "I am not an object."

"That's right, you're not."

"I'm a person, with thoughts and feelings."

"Exactly. You feel better now?"

"A little. I guess the sugar intake helped." Kendall grinned at him. "You're the best, Jay."

"Oh, I know." James awkwardly lifted the arm sandwiched between their bodies and mimed flipping his hair over his shoulder. Kendall laughed and James smiled, placing his hand back down. It sat dangerously close to Kendall's bare thigh, but he tried to ignore that.

"So, James?"

"Yeah?"

The brunet's eyes widened in terror when Kendall asked an unexpected question. "What other things have you noticed?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"About me. What else have you noticed?"

"Oh." James cleared his throat. "Uh . . . well, you always do your hair after you brush your teeth in the morning in case it gets wet. You always nibble the cheese off your pizza and then eat the rest, which I think is gross and pointless. You won't admit it but you love chemistry and you're great at it too, you just don't wanna look nerdy. We all say you're dramatic enough to be an actor but really you wanna work in film, don't you? Directing and screenplay and stuff. You love watching movies and looking at camera angles and the way scenes are edited. I remember once you said you don't see the appeal of Justin Bieber but I caught you staring at a poster of him in town once."

Kendall was staring at him in total awe. His lips were parted slightly and his breath smelled of strawberries. James bit his lip, gazing down at him. "And, you . . . you condemn anyone who wears lipgloss . . ." Why couldn't he stop gawking at his mouth?! Stop it James, he'll suspect something!

Of course, if James had more common sense and logic, he would know that Kendall already did. The blond grinned at him, biting his lip a little mischievously, but a bit shyly too. "Do you wanna know some things I've noticed about you?"

"I-I guess so," James replied a little nervously.

"Well." Kendall folded his hands on his lap. "You also hate broccoli. You whine when we walk too far because your shoes are getting a bit too small. Clowns freak you out. You love tacos and I know you'd eat them day and night if you could but you're afraid you'd get sick of them. At one point you've had a thing for every member of the original Glee cast, including Jane Lynch, don't even try to deny that one. You prefer DC over Marvel because you wanna be Superman but you and Carlos always have wars over it so you've kind of given up on the debate, which personally I think is a dumb move. He's easy to crack if you keep trying." Kendall smiled sweetly. "And when you get nervous, you either blush, say 'um' and 'uh' and 'well' a lot, or you stutter. You've done all three at least once since you came up here."

James had no idea how to respond to any of that. His first feeling was an overwhelming happiness, because Kendall knew all these stupid little pointless things about him, the same way he knew things about Kendall. He was also confused, because how on earth did Kendall know these? He must've been paying a lot of attention. And he was also, of course, completely terrified because Kendall had caught him out being nervous and stuttery around him. Now what was he supposed to do?! He didn't know what to say or what to do. He could laugh it off, or be rational and say something smart, or he could be even dumber.

He decided to be dumber and swooped in before he could change his mind, and kissed Kendall hard on his lips. They were soft, like he'd expected. He felt Kendall exhale through his nose and wondered if the blond was totally shell-shocked. He quickly pulled off with a faint pop, cheeks flushing dark red. "I-I . . ."

"Shh." Kendall rested his forefinger very lightly over James' mouth, grinning at him. "No need for more stuttering. Even though it's really cute." Then Kendall muffled James' squeak of shock as he leaned in and kissed him too. Their lips continued to brush together lightly, James' hands found their way to cup Kendall's cheeks. His tongue tasted of strawberries.

"There's something I wanna tell you," Kendall whispered against James' open mouth as he pulled back. "I'm a a natural blond."

James just started at him. "You are not," he said blankly. "You've got blond dye in the bathroom."

"Yeah yeah, but that just makes me blonder. My hair colour is like, straw. Really dark. But it's blond, honestly."

"You learn something new every day."

Kendall just kissed him again as a response. The eager movements sent James' head reeling as he kissed Kendall harder. He could do this all day, and it was something he had a strong feeling he couldn't get tired of. They finally pulled apart again, struck breathless by the mere presence of one another. Kendall gazed up at him with wide green eyes. James stared back, opening his mouth to say something sweet, maybe a little sensual too. "I fantasise about you wearing my clothes," he blurted out. Fuck.

"James." Kendall looked stern. "I am _not_ an object."

"I know. Sorry."

"It's cool. Just kiss me again and we can forget you ever said that until a later stage."

And he did.

* * *

 

"Jamie's gonna get some," Carlos laughed, dancing and jigging a little on the couch. Logan was trying to read beside him, huffing every time that Carlos' jumping and dancing disturbed his comfortable position. In other words, every few seconds.

"Oh, shut up," James retorted, rolling his eyes. He was seated comfortably on the couch, arm slung loosely around Kendall's shoulders. The blond sat leaning against his shoulder, feet propped up on the coffee table. Even over the sound of the television they could hear Brooke coming down the stairs, chatting to Dan on her cellphone. The two really seemed to have hit it off. James, momentarily, felt a little fed up with the whole ordeal, but really he was far too content right now to let anything as fickle as his mom maybe having a boyfriend bother him. After all, he was in a relationship, why shouldn't she be? It may have been a very loose one at the moment, seeing as it really wasn't long since that party. Kendall still being grounded was evidence of that. But James had a hopeful feeling that as time passed, maybe it would progress into something more serious. He was in no hurry, unlike the other guys Kendall had dated, and he was pleased to see that Kendall didn't seem to be rushing either.

"I will never shut up," Carlos replied haughtily, smirking at them. "Never. This is just too great to shut up about."

"But it's not too great to stop dancing about," Logan muttered crossly.

Carlos jumped down and sat next to him, ruffling his hair. "Oh Logie, how moody you are."

Logan slapped his hands away and shook his head disapprovingly, but he laughed. "The three of you, you're complete idiots."

"Boys!" Brooke announced her presence, holding her phone in her hand. She was dressed in a pretty sweater and jeans, her hair styled to perfection. James was instantly suspicious. "Listen. Dan is coming over and I thought maybe if you boys wanted to go out somewhere for food I could give you some cash?"

"Why, you don't want us interrupting?" Carlos teased. James gagged.

Brooke's cheeks turned red. "Well, maybe. Do you want to go out for burgers or not?"

Instantly three of them jumped to their feet. Kendall stayed sitting. "You too, Kendall."

"I'm grounded for another week, Mom," Kendall informed her.

Brooke looked a little desperate at this point. "I'm letting you off the hook early, okay? Now go on, off you go!"

Kendall grinned, hugged and thanked her, and the four set off, jackets on. Kendall wore a blue striped hoodie that was a little too long for him. James hesitantly laced their fingers together; Kendall grinned and held his hand back loosely, playing with his fingers. Logan shook his head again, smiling at them and walking along beside Carlos. Kendall grinned at him and gave a little wink.

"Hey, Kendall!"

The boys glanced towards the source of the noise and saw Jett, to their disgust, walking over. James instantly stepped a little closer to Kendall and saw Carlos and Logan doing the same. Kendall, however, wasn't showing any emotions. "Hi."

"I've hardly seen you the past couple of weeks!" Jett said. He was grinning at him, and James wanted to hit him for it. "Where've you been?"

"Grounded," Kendall replied shortly. "After the party."

"The party. Oh, yeah." Jett smiled wider. "Boy, that was a great night."

"No, it wasn't," Carlos snapped, hand on Kendall's arm. "Creep."

"What the fuck do you have to do with anything?" Jett snapped, glaring at him. "Stay out of our business, yeah?"

"It is too our business," Logan added, bravely but with a faint tremble in his limbs. "We h-had to go and get him after you all abused him."

Abuse?" Jett glanced at Kendall, eyebrows raised. "I thought you wanted it."

"Who the hell would want that?!" James demanded, finally speaking up.

"Well, he didn't say no—"

"He was too fucking drugged up, you complete moron," Carlos snarled. "Is there anything besides sawdust between your ears?"

Ignoring Carlos' insult, Jett turned to Kendall, looking shocked. James didn't believe it for a second. "Drugged? Kendall, I didn't know. It was Tad serving stuff up, he gave you your drinks, you know that."

"I know. It wasn't your fault, just an honest mistake," Kendall replied nonchalantly, arms folded. The other three stared at him incredulously.

"So, are we okay?" Jett reached for him.

"Nope."

James, Carlos and Logan gaped at him.

"But why?" For a moment Jett looked somewhat distraught. Then he turned to the other boys and glowered at them evilly. "Because these morons tell you to? They're fucking nothing, Kendall. I thought you were different to them."

"Well, that's the thing. I'm really not. I know I act like it, but it's all shit." Kendall stepped away from him, leading the other three away. He glanced back at Jett. "I don't care what you think of them. We're Diamomds and we stick together."

James grinned, reaching a hand out and subtlety putting it around his waist. Kendall smiled shyly at him. Jett stared at him. "Now that's just fucking disgusting," he growled. "You incest freaks."

"He's not my brother, idiot," Kendall snapped. Then he glanced up at James again. "But he is my best friend."

"Awww," Carlos and Logan cooed softly in the background.

Watching Jett storm off in anger and embarrassment made James a very happy guy. He whistled a little tune as he strolled along with Kendall, Carlos and Logan beside him. "You know, I'm thinking we could go to that diner a few blocks down. They've got big burgers and their cheese fries are the greatest."

"I'm up for that," Carlos agreed. "As long as you don't eat half of mine this time."

"I did that because you drank my milkshake!"

"It was Oreo flavoured, what did you expect from me?!"

The two continued to argue as they walked down the street. Kendall and Logan just grinned at each other and listened on, not needing to say anything.


	12. Chapter 12

Brooke's belly had grown considerably in size. She was now five months along, feeling little occasional kicks and needing to waddle around everywhere she went. Her mood swings could be terrifying, but most of the time she was in bright spirits. She had the boys running off to grocery stores frequently to buy strange foods for her, but they handled it well.

Today was Brooke's last day of work; her active job meant that she had to go on maternity leave. She would still be paid, but not as much as she had been. James could tell she worried about it, but didn't say much. He, however, was relatively confident they could manage, as they always had. And if necessary, maybe he could find a job somewhere. The was bound to be some idiot somewhere who'd hire him. He could work hard, dammit!

"I still can't believe last night," Logan chuckled as the four walked home from school. "The way the two of them sprung apart like they were our age and we were the parents!"

"It was fucking creepy," James retorted. "And I don't wanna think about it anymore."

Brooke and Dan were officially an item. Of course, James had suspected it for quite some time; they all had. The lingering stares and the dreamy smile during phone calls and the frequent lunch or dinner dates made it very obvious. However, it hadn't been an official known fact until the four boys trooped in from hanging out in the streets with Lucy and Guitar Dude to find them intertwined on the couch; he'd come over to drive her to work. They'd both been dressed, mercifully, so James hadn't been totally scarred for life. However, he was still a bit traumatised as anyone would be. But he was happy for his mother. She deserved the best, after all.

"Don't let it get to you so much," Kendall teased, swinging their held hands a little. "Dan seems like a sweet guy and they get along well."

"Yeah yeah, I know," James chuckled as they passed the apartment blocks where Lucy and Guitar Dude often hovered and made their way along the rows of houses. "It's just weird. I'll get used to it."

"Woah, hey." Logan pointed down the street, frowning and saying, "What's going on here?"

There were two vehicles parked outside one of the grubbier looking houses; a police car and an ambulance. The boys slowly made their way over, watching the paramedics carry out a body on a stretcher, covered with a cloth. Kendall squeezed James' hand tighter immediately, and James felt Logan pressing closer to his other side. A policeman was talking to a young woman standing there, who looked very stressed out.

"Who was living there?" Carlos asked the other three. "Do you know?"

"No . . . wait. I think I might." James walked closer to where the woman was standing. He glanced past her towards the front door of the house. He saw a wooden cane propped up on the porch. "It was this man I saw every now and again. Really old, don't know his name. He had a dog . . ."

"How long do you think it took for him to be foud?" Logan asked in slight disgust, looking over at the woman again. "I recognise her better now . . . she comes here every week or so from outside the estate. He could've been dead for days. Probably had a heart attack or something."

"Not surprising," James shrugged. "He was very old. But . . ." James stepped around over the front lawn. The paramedics and police paid no attention to them, and his eyes fell on the shed at the end of the garden, at the side of the house. It was only an inkling . . . but he was sure that the house itself would've already been searched. He walked down over the long grass, hearing the other boys' light footsteps behind him. He reached for the rusty bolt on the door and yanked it across, rust sticking to his hand as he did. He wrinkled his nose in disgust, before opening the loose wooden door and peering inside. Instantly he was met with a foul smell of mould, and animal. He stepped inside, taking out his phone and shining the screen light around; the window was so dirty almost no light came through.

He saw the man's dog lying against the wall on a ragged oily cloth. He was tied on a lead made of rope to a hook on the wall. There was a bowl beside him; empty. He was lying in a damp and sticky puddle that stank of urine. James, for one horrifying moment, taught that he was dead. But the dog's ears pricked up slightly at the sound of their arrival, and lifted his head a fraction.

"Carlos, quick," James said urgently, moving to the wall and untying the rope from the hook. "Can you help me carry him? He's really thin but he's still big and I dunno how heavy he'll be or if he'll struggle."

Carlos nodded, moving towards him. "What do you want us to do?" Logan asked immediately.

"Go outside, one of you stand at the corner and the other out on the street. You can tell us when it's okay to carry him out," James instructed, lightly stroking the top of the dog's head. It whimpered pathetically and his heart cracked. "Shh, it's okay . . ."

James and Carlos managed to lift the dog to its feet. And as it turned out, James could easily pick him up in his arms, and although he let out some sounds of protest, he didn't struggle. Carlos followed him out of the shed and shut the door behind them. They made their way quietly across the grass, watching carefully for Kendall and Logan's signals. Kendall suddenly beckoned them forward and they jogged out from behind the house. Logan was deep in conversation with the paramedics, who seemed interested enough to answer his eager questions. James' eyes widened when the woman's eyes fell on them. However, she said nothing and looked away again. Perhaps she thought they were doing the right thing. James knew that they were.

He carried the dog home, Carlos and Kendall walking beside him. They were just reaching their front door when Logan ran up behind them, a little out of breath. Kendall unlocked the door and they all walked inside, taking the dog into the kitchen and setting him down on the tiles. "I think the first thing we should do is get him some food and water," Carlos said, going to the cupbaord and finding a plastic cereal bowl before going to the sink and filling it. Meanwhile, Kendall went and dug around in the refrigerator for food.

"Let's see . . . we have leftover meat spaghetti. We have ham slices. We have microwave beef stew and chicken casserole," Kendall said, listing off all the meat containing foods he could find. "What should we give him?"

"Let's start off with just some ham," Logan said, taking the packet Kendall handed to him. "Don't give him rich food or he'll throw it up."

The ham was still very cold but the dog swallowed down what they gave him in seconds. Logan made sure to only give him small pieces at a time, his hand behind constantly snuffled at for more. They gave the dog some water then, watching him lap it all up eagerly when suddenly Brooke walked into the room. "I thought I heard you—" She stopped. And gasped. "What the . . .?"

"Mom, listen—" James began worriedly, afraid of setting her mood swings in the direction of irrational rage.

"The poor thing!" Brooke kneeled down on the floor, despite her heavy belly, and stroked the dog's head looking stricken. "Where did you find it?"

"The man who owned it died," Kendall told her. "Obviously treated it like shit though, look at the state he's in!"

"We don't even know how long the man was dead, Mom," Carlos added worriedly. "So we don't know when he was last fed or anything. And he stinks too."

"Should we give him a bath?" Kendall suggested.

"I think we should take him to the vet," Brooke said, putting her hand on Carlos' shoulder and heaving onto her feet. James gave her a quick hand and she smiled gratefully at him before saying, "Dan is coming over, maybe he can drive you?"

"Would he mind?"

"Of course not! It won't take long, I'm sure there's one nearby. And I'll make dinner for him in the meantime, that should sweeten the deal a bit." Brooke smiled at them. "Now, who of you boys is going to go? You shouldn't all go, causing a commotion in the clinic but obviously one of you has to."

"I think James should go," Kendall said, glancing over at him. "He found the dog and carried it out. He knows it best."

James' cheeks flushed but he nodded eagerly. "Yeah, I want to go."

"We'll get things sorted here while you're gone," Brooke told him, reaching her hand up and ruffling his hair. "I'll give you some money to pay for the bill, hopefully it won't be too much . . ."

"Tell them that as much of it that we can do at home, we will," Logan cut in and advised him. "That way we won't be charged for dumb shit that we don't need, okay?"

"Okay," James replied, nodding while Brooke waddled off to find her purse. He helped the dog back to his feet when Dan arrived, Brooke's vet money safely tucked into his pocket. It would hopefully be enough.

"The poor thing is starving," Dan said mournfully as he watched the dog plod along across the floor weakly. "I pass a veterinary clinic for work most days, it's not too far."

"You don't mind taking me?" James asked.

"Not at all, we can go now."

James followed Dan out of the house to where his car was parked. He opted to sit in the back seat, tying his seatbelt and tugging the dog up to lie beside him, head on his lap. Already he felt more attached than he liked to admit.

When they walked into the veterinary clinic, it was practically deserted. The cheery young woman at reception chirpily wrote them in for the next appointment, which she expected would be in only a few minutes' time. "That dog looks a bit hungry," she said glumly, looking down at him. "Beautiful animal though. He's a German shepherd, or Alsatian, whichever you could call it, one of my favourite breeds."

James could only smile and nod, a little overwhelmed by her bubbly persona.

Dan stayed sitting in the waiting room when it was James' turn to go in. He gulped, scooping the dog back up into his arms, and walking into the room. Instantly the lab coat clothed man's eyes were on him, and he smiled nervously.

"Hi, sir," James said slowly, carrying the dog in to him. "I have this dog here . . ."

The vet gave him a stricken and stern look as he placed the dog on the examination table, seeing the state he was in. "Is this your dog?"

"The accusation caught James off guard and he replied quickly, "No, no! He belonged to this man living on my street, but he died. I found him tied up in the shed and took him away."

"Oh." His expression softened immediately. "Any idea how long he'd been there for?"

"No. But probably a while . . ."

"Let's take a look at him." The vet examined the dog carefully for a few minutes, using various equipment that James didn't really understand. He took a careful look at the dog's fur, checked his heart and ears and eyes and teeth, and eventually looked up and said, "Well, I can tell you right now that this dog is very young. I would say she's almost a year old."

"She?" James echoed in surprise, glancing down at the dog.

"She, yes. She's been fixed and all, you don't have to worry about that. Obviously she's quite emaciated but she doesn't seem to have any infections or diseases. Next to no fleas, miraculously, I can get my assistant to give her a flea bath if you like?"

James remembered Logan's advice about avoiding any extra charges, but then he thought of fleas infesting the house and nodded eagerly. "Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks."

"No problem." The vet called his younger assistant over and she took the dog away into anther room. "Alright, so you found her tied up in a shed?"

"Yeah." James nodded. "I'd seen her before, so I figured she must be on the property somewhere . . ."

"And you and your family want to adopt her? Come take a seet with me over here." James followed the vet across the room and watched him take off his disposable rubber gloves and toss them away.

"So." The vet sat down in a chair with James. "I'm not exactly an inspector or anything so it's not my job, but I do care about my animals and this one's been treated horrendously. Her behaviour is good despite her prior treatment but I just want to be sure that she'll be in good hands and a suitable home. So I'm going to ask you a few questions, alright?"

"Of course, no problem," James said quickly. "What kinds of questions?"

"Well, are there any small children living at home?"

"No, we're all in our teens. I'm seventeen, Kendall and Carlos are sixteen and Logan is fifteen." At the vet's puzzled look, James added, "I'm the only birth kid, my mom adopted them." He bit his lip. "And she's five months pregnant, so there'll be a baby soon."

"Well, by then she should've settled in well enough so that might not be a problem. And will there be somebody at home for at least a few hours every day to care for her?"

"Yeah, Mom's finished work after today so she'll be home, and me and the other guys come home straught after school most days. And then there's my mom's boyfriend Dan and he's around sometimes too. He drove me here."

"Right, that's good. And I know you must think I'm treating you like a total child, but obviously your mother can't walk her. She's a big dog and needs a good bit of exercise. You and the other boys are willing to make that effort?"

"Of course! They love her already. And even if they're not . . . I am."

The vet looked pleased to hear that. "I'd like you to fill out a form for me, if you don't mind. And if you want some supplies to care for the dog, we have some here you can purchase."

"Oh, um . . . I'll consider it." No he wouldn't. He couldn't afford that.

The dog returned, washed and dried from her bath, the vet finished up and James led the dog out, paying the bill at the reception and going over to Dan. "All done," he said. Then he spotted the carrier bag by Dan's feet and frowned, pointing to it. "What's what? You didn't have that when we came in."

"Well." Dan picked up the bag and stood up. "The woman at reception talked to me about the dog and I explained it was being adopted, and she suggested we but some supplies."

"But we can't—"

"You can't. I can. It wasn't outrageous and I figured you could do with a hand." Dan opened the bag and showed James what was inside. "I have dog food and treats here, she said they'd help it to gain weight and get healthier. Then there's a collar and a leash, a water bowl and a squeaky bone."

"Oh . . ." James reached into the bag and took out the blue collar and leash, tying it around the dog's neck and holding the handle in his hand. "Thanks, Dan. Mom's gonna be so happy." It was the best he could come up with, but Dan looked over the moon at the news.

"I'm sure she will. Now come on, we'll drive back."

* * *

 

As James, Dan and the still unnamed dog walked in through the front door, instantly excited shouts could be heard from the living room. "Well, how is he?" Carlos roared above the rest of them.

"He's a girl," James called back, taking the leash and leading the dog into the living room. She sat on the floor, tongue lolling out and she gazed at them all with happy eyes. "And she's gonna be fine, so long as we get her strength back up, keep her clean and everything else. Can we keep her inside, Mom?"

"Oh, of course," Brooke said immediately. "We might have to train her a little but I'm sure we can get advice on that. We'll know somebody with a dog. We have to give her a name."

The five of them eyed the German shepherd, and the way she blinked her large brown eyes up at them trustingly. "Sydney," Carlos said at last, eyeing her with a smile. "She looks like a Sydney."

"Sydney Diamond," Logan chuckled. "It's nice."

"Sydney Raye Diamond," Kendall added after a moment of inspiration. "It sounds cool."

"She sounds like a popstar," Brooke laughed, scratching behind Sydney's ears. "She's such a sweetie. Don't worry Sydney, you're in good hands now."

She seemed to understand. And she seemed to be a lot happier.

Brooke brought them all into the kitchen, where they ate dinner together crowded around the table. Sydney was the lucky recipient of a few titbits. Later, after Dan had left to go home and Kendall, Carlos and Logan were in the living room watching television, James went to help his mom put the dishes away.

"You know James," Brooke said suddenly, stacking the plates up. "I'm thinking about calling your father."

"What?!" James exclaimed, dropping a spoon in his shock. It clanged on the floor and he quickly picked it up again, wiping it down. "But why? What's he got to do with us?"

"Trust me, nothing. Or at least, I wish. But . . ." She sighed, "Well, he has a lot of money, and we don't. Especially since I'm working, and we'll have the baby and now we have Sydney too. And he does owe child support money, so . . ."

"You wanna call him for money?"

Brooke nodded, biting her lip. "I mean, obviously I'll be polite about it. I can't see him refusing, it won't make a huge difference to him."

"We'l . . . if you're sure, I guess." He thought about asking her again what it was that split them up. But she was in a good mood and he chose to secure that and keep his mouth shut.

"I'm sure. Now go on, I'm finishing up here."

James went into the living room and saw Kendall slouched back on the couch, bare feet curled up, the remote clasped loosely in his hand. He looked up when James walked in. "Hey." He gave him a quick peck on the lips as the brunet sat by his legs. "How's everything?"

"It's going fine," James chose to tell him, grinning and lacing their fingers together. Kendall beamed at him. "So listen, Blondie, since we all co-own Syd now I thought we could make a walking schedule? Because let's face it, nobody wants to walk her all the time."

"I hear ya." Kendall reached across the floor to where his backpack lay, taking out a notebook and pen and opening to a new page, the corners crinkled and what James though was probably a coffee stain at the bottom. "So, I guess she'll needed to be walked twice a day when she gets her strength up."

James nodded. "I'm thinking a shortish walk before school and then a longer one in the afternoon or evening?"

Kendall nodded, sketching a quick table of 'Walk 1' and 'Walk 2' and the days of the week. "Four people, fourteen walks."

"Maybe two of them can be in compulsory pairs," James suggested and Kendall jotted it down. "You and me, then Carlos and Logan. Then everybody's got the same amount."

"Okay, let's see . . ." Kendall scribbled on the page for a minute or two, biting his lip and clicking his tongue as he worked. At last he turned the page around, showing it to James. "I ordered it oldest to youngest, so you start on a Monday morning, and then Carlos, then me then Logan. And I put the pair walks on Saturdays, nobody has two walks the same day that way."

James looked over it. "This looks good. We can stick it on the refrigerator. Should we show it to Carlos and Logan first?"

Kendall nodded, getting to his feet and taking the notebook. "They're upstairs, they went up a while ago."

James and Kendall walked up the stairs one after the other. James couldn't help grinning at the perfect view he had of Kendall's ass. Then his cheeks turned bright red. He and Kendall hadn't done anything of that sort yet; they weren't in any rush. Well, Kendall wasn't. James wasn't either, not exactly. But he was very eager and couldn't wait for it to happen. He'd been thinking about it for a while, before they even got together. But he respected Kendall and wanted him to be happy. It's not like he was desperate anyway. He could deal.

Kendall glanced briefly into James and Carlos' room as he passed, but the door was wide open and they weren't in there. Kendall and Logan's door however, was closed, and he could hear some faint noises behind it. Kendall strolled forward and opened it up, then he walked in. Then he shrieked. James ran in after him, "What— OH!"

Carlos and Logan's faces were red, and they were lying in a position that they couldn't spring away from at a moment's notice. Unfortunately for them. Logan sat up slowly and untangled his legs from Carlos, getting off the older boy's chest and folding his arms. Carlos sat up too, mouth slightly but unmistakably swollen. "H-hey, guys . . ."

"And what were you to up to?" Kendall managed to demand at last, folding his arms and tapping his foot off the floor. "While we were downstairs, busily making a dog walking schedule?"

"Sorry we didn't tell you," Logan mumbled.

"Logie didn't want to," Carlos traded, pinching Logan's cheek. "He's too shy."

Logan batted his hands away, scowling. But they could see the smile he was trying to force down. James couldn't help smiling at them. They were cute. Much like Kendall and himself . . .

"Well, I don't have a problem," Kendall said at last, shrugging. "Just don't do anything on my bed."

"Why would we go near that?" Carlos quipped, raising an eyebrow. "The chlamydia bed?"

"I do not have an STD you twat!"

James and Logan glanced at each other, rolling their eyes. It was play fighting, but with those two's terrible record, they could never be totally sure.


	13. Chapter 13

"So how did you two get together?" Kendall asked, slumped back in the armchair as he watched the two sitting on the couch. James was sitting with them, but he wasn't really paying massive attention. Following Brooke's call to his father, the man had told them he would call to the house. Today, around this time. He hadn't seen him in so long. Would he still look the same? Would he think James looked the same? Would he even care?

"It happened about a month ago," Carlos told him. "And yes, I know you're shocked we managed to keep it from you that long. Basically we were in my room doing homework together, and we got bored of it and just started talking. Eventually the conversation drifted to you two, because we just kinda started talking about your relationship, and our opinion on it, and stuff . . ."

"Which is?" Kendall raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing negative, really. We were just talking about how your relationship is in general. The way you live with us and we're all adopted and we see each other all time time. Just the pros and cons I guess. And somehow, Logie here," he poked Logan's shoulder teasingly, "let it slip that he wouldn't mind doing the same with me."

"Look," Logan said huffily, "he was really nice that time when you guys caught me in the bathroom back in February. I couldn't help it, alright!"

"He's so cute," Carlos cooed. "Anyway, that's basically it."

"That's a boring story."

"I could give you more of the juicier details—"

"Don't you dare!" Logan shrieked, horrified.

"Guys!" James exclaimed suddenly, eyes widening as he turned around to properly face the window, almost pressing his face right up against the glass. A car was coming. Way too shiny to be from around here.

Mr Diamond (because what else could he call him?) pulled up to the house in an expensive and squeaky clean silver car. James wondered what the neighbourhood kids might think of it; he had a feeling some of the younger ones might try and climb it. Maybe throw mud at it. Whatever they did, he certainly wouldn't tell them off. He watched from the living room window as his father got out of the car, dressed in a tidy black suit, white shirt and pale red tie. His shoes shone. James quickly retreated back from the window before he could be seen, turning to the other three. "He's here," he said to them, before calling out of the room, "Mom! He's here!"

Brooke hurried down the stairs into the hallway. Well, she hurried as much as she could. She rested a hand on her belly, breathing a little heavily for a moment as she got her breath back. "The baby's kicking quite a bit," she laughed. "Must sense that's something good's about to come, hmm?"

"Maybe," Carlos said idly, shrugging. "We can hope so. How much do you think we'll get?"

"I'd love to tell you sweetie, but the truth is I have no idea. I wasn't even sure if he'd come over, I'm surprised. Oh, he's knocking!"

Logan went to answer the door, stepping back and letting Mr Diamond walk in. He glanced around at all the boys in slight disdain, but more curiosity, as though they were alien creatures. His eyes fell on James and he cleared his throat. "Hello, James."

"Hi," James replied shortly.

"You've gotten tall," he commented.

"I guess so."

"And, er, Brooke, nice to see you." He glanced at the three boys at James' side. "And whose are these?"

Brooke rolled her eyes but maintained a sweet and polite smile. "I've adopted these three. This is Carlos, that's Kendall and that's Logan. And there's Sydney."

"Ah, a dog. Yes. Lovely."

"I expected you might call rather than pay us a visit," Brooke said to fix the awkwardness.

"I thought it'd be better if I gave you my suggestion in person, Brooke," he replied politely, calmly and somewhat patronisingly. "Just to get your opinion."

Logan raised his eyebrows, looking totally lost. Carlos frowned, glancing at James apprehensively. Kendall folded hs arms and stared hard at the floor, jaw clenched. James could swear he saw a vein throbbing in his forehead.

"Oh. Well." Brooke frowned slightly. "I didn't think you'd have a suggestion, really. What is there to suggest?"

"I had an idea on how to make things less difficult for you, financially. Basically I think it would be a lot easier for you if you had one less mouth to feed, one less person to dress and all of that. Don't you think it'd be easier?"

There was a long, tense silence. At last Brooke stuttered out, "What?"

"I, um . . ." He cleared his throat. "I felt it would be sensible to take one of them in. Under my wing, I suppose—"

"You want to take one of my boys away?" Brooke repeated a little numbly.

"Well." He tugged at his shirt collar, looking uncomfortable. "It's not that I want to, per se. I just think it would be the best way to ease your financial burden. And they would be happy with me, I'm sure. I have a large penthouse for them to stay in, much more . . . well, accommodating than this place." He looked around in slight disgust. "If you don't want to give up James, that's understandable."

James glared at him in disgust, and outrage. And hurt. He doesn't even want me . . .

"I . . ." She seemed to deflate, to James' dismay. She turned to the other three boys. "What do you boys think?"

Logan glanced at Kendall and Carlos, keeping silent but looking as though he was thinking hard. "Well," Carlos said at last, trying to keep his tone light and carefree, "I think we can all agree that Kendall seems the ideal option."

"Excuse me?!" Kendall exclaimed, turning to stare at him with outraged eyes.

"Well, you're the biggest complainer. And you're super high maintenance. You'd like a penthouse."

"You can forget it!" Kendall snapped, turning to glower ar Mr Diamond. "And you, you can fucking forget it too!"

"Kendall," James tried to interrupt. But his tone wasn't as firm as he hoped it would be. And he didn't know why he was planning to try and defend a man he himself felt so distant from.

"Shut up, James!" Kendall barked harshly at him, face twisted in a snarl. "I'd rather cut off my limbs than go with that bastard, I'm not going with him, you can forget it!"

"Don't call him a bastard!" James found himself arguing. He turned to his mother, looking for assistance. She just stared on, arms folded over her belly and shutting herself away. She was trembling slightly. "And look, you're upsetting Mom, don't be such a bitch!"

"I am not being a bitch," Kendall roared, shoving James backwards. "I don't care what you think!" And he flipped Mr Diamond off, pushing past him and storming out the front door, shutting it after him.

"I can't believe him," James fumed. He glanced at Brooke pleadngly. "Can you believe him?!"

"Go after him, James," she said abruptly. "You need to speak to him."

Tell him off, you mean?"

"No. Talk, listen, etcetera. I've gotta have some words with your dad. Now off you go." Then she took hold of his father by the arm and lead him off into the kitchen. Logan and Carlos glanced at James, both frowning in uncertainty. "I guess we can hang out upstairs," Carlos said at last, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "Me and Logan, while you go out after Kendall."

Alright," James said dully, shrugging. "See you when we get back." He left the house and walked down the path onto the sidewalk. He glanced left, and then right, and immediately saw Kendall in the distance, walking with his hands in is pockets. His hunched shoulders told James that he was still tense, still angry. And probably still rude. He sped up his walking pace and strode down the sidewalk; Kendall wasn't walking very quickly, and it didn't take him long to come close enough that he could hear Kendall's footsteps and heavy breath, and Kendall could hear him. He glanced briefly over his shoulder. Then he looked away again.

"Hey. Stop." James grabbed him by the arm, forcing him to skid to a stop. He turned to glance at James briefly before focusing much more on the ground. He feebly tried to squirm his arm out of James' grip, but the brunet held tighter. "Let me go, James."

"No." James used his superior strength to turn Kendall to face him and grabbed his other arm, holding him in place tightly. He stared down at him sternly. "I want to know why you behaved that way. Why you went ape shit on my dad for no fucking reason."

"Why are you defending him, he doesn't give a shit about you," Kendall snapped. James squeezed him tighter, causing him to wince and shake his head weakly. "Let go."

"No," James snarled, shaking him before he realised what he was doing and stopped abruptly, panicking. "Shit, I'm sorry . . . but, seriously. Tell me."

Kendall swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut, mouth trembling. "Well . . . can we sit down?"

"I won't be able to hold on to you."

"I won't run, promise."

The two sat down on the sidewalk, placing their feet on the road. James folded his arms on his knees and watched Kendall do the same. "Okay, well," Kendall said, clearing his throat. "There's not exactly a way to sugarcoat it."

"I'm not looking for a sugarcoating."

Kendall clamped his hands together, resting them under his chin before puffing out a breath and saying shakily, "I know your dad . . . I first saw him when I was nine."

"You . . . no." James' clenched his fists so hard they cracked and he felt them start to tremble. " _No_."

"James, I—"

 _"No!"_ James shook his head frantically, laughing but needing to cry his eyes out and scream and kick everything in sight. "What the fuck do you expect me to say to you?! You had sex with my dad!"

"I didn't want to have sex with him, you know that," Kendall argued indignantly, trembling with what James deemed might just be exhaustion.

"How long did it go on for?" James asked in a low voice,mr inning his hands back through his hair, fingers scraping off his scalp. "How long, Kendall."

"He came on and off, maybe every few weeks . . . I think I was fourteen when he stopped coming."

"That's after they split up. Oh god." James covered his face with his hands, feeling his chest start to heave, his eyes watering and his throat making it difficult to speak. "Y-you knew this whole time, we were k-kissing each other and you did it with him—"

"No, Jamie, I didn't know—"

"Did Mom know? Did she?!"

"I don't know, James. Please don't be angry with me—"

"Shut up. Just . . . just don't say anything."

The boy he'd been crushing on, and had been dating for at least two months had slept with his father. Several times. As a child. His dad was a pedophile, a rapist. Had he kissed Kendall the way James did when he'd touched him? Did he recognise him when he saw him again? From nine to fourteen . . .

When he heard a sniffle that he recognised as not his own (he tended not to get a stuffed nose when he cried) he looked up and saw Kendall sitting beside him still, hands clamped over his mouth. Tears slid the couple of centimetres down his cheeks before disappearing behind his pale hands. It took him a few moments to grasp it, but at last he didn't see something sick, and wrong and disturbing. He saw a victim. A victim of abuse that came back to haunt him in a way he probably could never have foreseen. Drying his own eyes, James reached out and placed his hand on Kendall's knee, catching his attention. Kendall looked up at him, hands leaving his face. One of them placed tenderly over James'. James gave him a watery smile. "I . . . it's still a strange feeling . . ."

"I get that."

"I wanna talk to Mom about it."

"That's fine."

"I wanna go now."

"Let's do it."

They stood up and walked back down in the direction of their house, hands loosely linked together. Of course, James knew he would have to sort things out properly with him. Nothing concrete had been said yet. But it could wait until he had some real answers. As they reached the house, they saw that Mr Diamond's car had gone. Fleeing the scene, just like always.

When they walked inside the house, Kendall retreated upstairs while James went straight to his mother in the kitchen. He sat at the table, folded his arms. "I want answers," he said as a way of greeting.

She sighed reluctantly. "James . . . I want you to know that I did plan on telling you. I just didn't think you were ready."

"Yeah, okay. But you can tell me now."

"I found out what your father was doing when I saw the text messages on his phone. He was in contact with Kendall's father, arranging times to visit them and such. I didn't realise who he was actually having an affair with until I saw the photos he'd been sent." Her brow furrowed, lip curling in disgust. "Then I realised . . . you were almost twelve then. So of course, I confronted him. I wanted a divorce, I couldn't even stand to look at him after finding out what he did."

"Why didn't you call the cops on him?"

She sighed again, bowing her head in shame. "I didn't want you to lose your father," she said softly. "I know that was idiotic of me, because who would want their son seeing a father like that? But you thought the world of him back then and I didn't want to take him from you. I thought you would blame me . . ." She wrung her hands, a slight anger in her voice as she said, "Though of course, I didn't anticipate him taking everything away from us. Maybe I should have."

"And Kendall really didn't know?"

"No, of course not. I couldn't tell him that. When I arrived at his foster home I saw his name, of course I recognised it immediately. I wanted to give him a better life, away from all of that. I couldn't tell him that my ex husband was one of those monsters who . . . well, you know. So, I adopted him. I took care of him. Naturally I didn't think he'd ever see and recognise him again, but . . ."

"You did a good thing, I guess," James said a little grudgingly. "I just can't believe that all this time I never knew . . ."

"I wouldn't dream of asking you not to hold it against me. I deserve every bit of that."

"I don't hold it against you. I mean, you should've done what was right instead of what was convenient . . . but you did take Kendall in and I think he's really happy here. So you made up for it, I guess. You're not gonna let Dad take any of them away, are you?"

"Never in a million years. But I did have an idea."

"Oh?"

"While you were gone, I brought your dad in here and told him exactly who Kendall was. Naturally he was a bit shocked. Then I told him I was sure Kendall would quite happily give a little statement to the cops about what he'd done, if he didn't wire some child support money into my bank account. Because basically, even if we can't prove it happened, the case would get out and his business would tank. Nobody wants to do business with an accused child molester, and he knows it too."

"How much is he giving us? James asked, grinning.

"Oh, not too sure yet. But I'm sure it'll be adequate. Now." Brooke ruffled James' hair fondly. "Go upstairs to your friends, and don't forget to remind Logan that Sydney needs her walk in an hour."

"Got it, Mom," James called to her, passing Sydney in the hallway and scratching behind her ears. She padded up the stairs after him. He heard Carlos' loud chuckles coming from their room and walked in to see him and Kendall and Logan all seated on the bed; Carlos thrown back with a pillow on his lap, Logan slouching against him and Kendall sitting with him with his legs crossed in the lotus position. He'd kicked off his shoes and his feet were covered in little blue ankle socks.

Hey," James said gently, approaching him and pressing a little kiss to the apple of his cheek. Kendall grinned at him, slipping his hand to the back of his head and tugging him down to kiss him on the lips.

And for a moment, it felt wrong and bizarre. But then he began to relax, pulling back and giving Kendall a playful little peck, sitting on the bed beside him. Just one more thing to adjust to, after all.

* * *

 

James needed some time to maybe get away from the house for a bit, to just relax and stop thinking about anything going on there. Kendall came up with an idea instantly. He then instructed to James in a low voice to take some money and go buy pizza from the takeaway at eleven that night, and then meet Kendall at the bus shelter once he had it.

Safe to say, James was totally lost. But he did as he was asked and got dressed at about half past ten, sneaking out of the room and taking his jacket with him. He thought about checking to see if Kendall was in his room but decided against it. It was close to eleven when he reached the takeway and bought his food. He carried it along to the bus shelter and spotted a dark shadow standing beside it. A short one with his arms full. He hurried over. "Hey," he said softly. "Where are we going?"

"We're going up," Kendall replied playfully. He had a backpack thrown over his shoulder and a folded blanket under his arm. "I just thought it'd be nice, you know? To relax and stuff."

"Onto the roof?" When Kendall nodded, James glanced up at it. Then he shrugged, nodding. "Alright."

"I'll give you a boost, then you can pull me up," Kendall suggested. "I won't be able to pull you up."

James nodded, moving over to the bus shelter and standing by the edge. Kendall wrapped his arms around James' thighs and the brunet jumped, Kendall grunting and shoving him up onto the metal ridged roof. "I'm gonna hand the stuff up to you, okay?" Kendall said as he stood up on his toes and held up the folded blanket. James stretched over the side and took it from him, then his bag, then more carefully, the box of pizza. Then Kendall took his hands and jumped up, managing to scale the wall as James tugged him up onto the roof. Kendall landed with a crash on top of him, laughing and sitting up on his knees. "Didn't mean to crush you."

"I forgive you," James chuckled, unfolding the blanket and spreading it out on the roof. The two slouched back, Kendall resting on his stomach and leaning on his elbows. "I have drinks and stuff in the bag," he said to James as he tugged the pizza box forward and opened it up. "Chicken and peppers, huh?"

"I thought you liked peppers."

"I love them," Kendall chuckled, opening up the bag. "Obviously we haven't got any alcohol or anything at home, but I got us some Sprite. We're a bit old for juice boxes."

"Sprite is good."

Kendall took out two small bottles and handed one to James. "If you open fast it'll burst all over you," he warned with a smirk. "Not that I'd mind seeing your clothes soaked through but it's a bit cold for that."

"Perv," James teased, prodding him with his finger before twisting the cap slowly on the Sprite, listening to it fizz before he opened it the rest of the way. Kendall picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite, with much more ease than normal, James noticed.

"Do you think we have a weird relationship?" James asked a few minutes later, when half the pizza had been eaten and he had the taste of sugary soda on his tongue. And maybe a little taste of Kendall. "With the whole brothers thing . . ."

"No." Kendall plucked a piece of green pepper from the pizza box and popped it into his mouth. "Not at all. I know you feel kind of unsure about it, but you're like that with a lot of things. We're not brothers. If we were brothers, we'd know each other a hell of a lot longer than we do."

"Yeah, but . . . with everything that's happened . . ."

"Look, James, if it bothers you, then fine. But it doesn't bother me. I like you, you like me, that's it." He took a gulp of Sprite, licking his lips. "It's not as complex as you think, it's not a chemistry equation."

"Well, you do know all about those."

"You bet I do." They finished the pizza and Kendall pushed the box side, scooting up to cuddle against James' chest and tug his half of the blanket over them. James draped his arms around his waist and cuddled him close, kissing him on the head.

"You're right," he sighed happily. "This is pretty simple."

"Told you," Kendall beamed up at him, eyes shining. He leaned up and kissed James, lips soft and warm, but firm against his. James kissed him eagerly, their opening mouths pressed together as their bodies slid together, legs tangling and nerves tingling.

"You're really hot," James blurted out with flushed cheeks as he peppered little kisses along Kendall's cheek and down to his neck. "And like, really sweet and smart and stuff . . ."

"You too," Kendall breathed against him, hands on his sides, just slipped under his shirt. They were cold against his skin and he shivered, tongue slipping out to flick off the side of Kendall's neck. Kendall's back arched from the roof, head thrown back.

Then they suddenly heard loud laughter and glass bottles clinking together. They both froze and listened, watching out of the corner of their eyes as the group of young men sloped drunkenly past the bus shelter, bumping off each n other and waving their bottles in the air, some spilling it all over themselves.

They decided it was best if they call it a night. Kendall packed up the stuff while James folded their blanket and tossed it onto the sidewalk with the bag. He jumped down first, offering his arms out to Kendall as he jumped down, easing him to the ground. The two walked back to the house hand in hand, slipping around to the back door and unlocking it, walking into the dark kitchen and locking up again, putting the key back in its right place. They tiptoed up the stairs, wincing and giggling when it creaked.

"Goodnight," Kendall whispered as they arrived outside their bedrooms. He gave James a little kiss.

James tugged him back again and kissed him for longer, hands dipping in at the small of his back. Kendall's arms looped around him and he laughed, pulling back and nuzzling his nose off James'. "What's so funny?" James asked, cocking an eyebrow and pecking him on the nose.

"I dunno. You're just funny."

"Oh wow, that's so—"

"Guys!"

Kendall and James' heads snapped to look at Carlos, who was poking his head out from behind his bedroom door, hair a mess and an irritated expression on his face. "It's 1am," he hissed. "If Mom wakes up she'll tear you both to shreds. Go the fuck to sleep." And the door shut again.

James chuckled, squeezing Kendall's slim hand in his. "I guess we should go to bed, huh?"

Kendall nodded, pecking James' cheek and giving it a gentle squeeze between his fingers. "Night, Jamie."

James smacked his hand away, rubbing his red cheek. "Goodnight, princess."

Kendall grinned at him, walking the few steps down the hallway towards his room. He opened the door and slipped in, waving to James and blowing him a kiss before shutting the door quietly. James smiled to himself, walking into his own room, the door quietly clicking shut after him. He kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket to the floor, lying on his back and smiling blissfully, shutting his eyes. He'd fall asleep when his head stopped spinning and his heart stopped fluttering with glee.

It felt strange to be in love.


	14. Chapter 14

When Dan moved in, James briefly wondered why they couldn't have all left this dump and just gone to live with him instead. But Dan's apartment was far too small, it would never fit four teenage boys, or a fifth child. And anyway, this dump had kind of become home in its own strange way. He wouldn't go back to the Palmwoods now if he had the choice. So many things had happened here that wouldn't have happened there. And yes, some of them weren't the best, but others really, really were.

Dan didn't make a huge difference anyway, he was a quiet guy. He could cook though he wasn't great at cleaning. At one point, he even dared to start making their lunches for them. Best sandwich he'd ever eaten. He was still a total geek and he was still a bit weirded out about his mother having a boyfriend, because it was something many people would always associate with women who weren't, well, old. But she was happy, and he was happy. It was all he could ask for. Dan was better than his father, any day of the week.

About a week after Dan joined their little (or large) family, they all became accustomed to him, despite the odd argument, mainly between Kendall and Dan when Kendall took too long in the bathroom or between Carlos and Dan when Carlos "gave him lip" as he put it. But they all settled into a steady routine. Wake up, get ready, breakfast with Brooke and Dan, walking Sydney, school. Home from school, homework, walking Sydney, dinner, and then just hanging out. Sometimes they'd go out and meet their friends, sometimes they wouldn't. It was fairly basic stuff.

Things started to drastically change without any warning. It started on a Friday afternoon, when Carlos gave up on his homework early to take Sydney for her walk. The others finished while he was gone and just lounged around in the sitting room watching Grey's Anatomy. Naturally, Logan scoffed at the majority of it, because "hospitals would never be that dramatic, you morons".

When Carlos walked into the house and unclipped Sydney from her leash, the dog bounded over to James and jumped up on top of the couch, crushing his and Kendall's legs as a result. "Is that Carlos back?" Brooke's voice called from upstairs.

"Yeah, I'm here!" Carlos yelled, diving onto the couch beside Logan and ruffling his hair, kissing his cheek. "Hey, Logiebear!"

Logan scowled, even as his cheeks blushed bright pink and he nestled into his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Carlos, sweetie?" Broke walked into the living room, holding her cellphone in her hand. I have some news for you."

Carlos looked up from where he was now focusing on the television, his arm loosely draped over the back of the couch where Logan was sitting. "Yeah, Mom?"

"Well, I wouldn't call me that for much longer if I were you . . ."

Instantly the other three boys looked up, attention captivated.

"I got a call from a rehabilitation centre," Brooke said at last, all eyes on her. But she only focused on Carlos. "It's called Sherwood Centre, the name is probably familiar to you."

"Y-yeah," Carlos said, looking much paler than normal.

"They called your old children's home, but obviously since you're not there anymore the children's home contacted me," Brooke told him. "Your mom wants you to go and visit her, apparently she's a lot better."

Carlos stared up at her, jaw dropping. His hands clenched into fists. "I . . . are you serious?"

Brooke nodded, smiling at him. "Visiting days are Saturday from two until seven and Sunday from ten until nine."

Carlos looked as though he might faint. Then a delirious smile slowly appeared on his face. "I'm going to see my mom again."

"You're going to see your mom again," Brooke repeated, smiling. "So you're going to go? Tomorrow is Saturday."

"Oh God, it is." Carlos' eyes widened comically. "I have to get ready, what do I wear?!"

"Don't look at me for advice," Logan chuckled, arms raised in surrender. "I'm not one to talk or, well, care about clothes."

"Don't look like you tried too hard," Kendall added dismissively, running a hand through his hair and fluffing it up before getting up off James' lap. "I'm gonna grab a snack, anyone want something?"

"Not only is he willingly eating two to three meals a day," Carlos chuckled as Kendall left the room. "But he's eating in between!"

"He's obviously getting that teenage boy appetite that the rest of my boys have," Brooke told him, poking him playfully. "You all eat like animals, he was my one saviour. Though obviously I like this better, he's healthier now . . ."

"He's not as pale," Logan added, flicking through his Scientific American. "Or scrawny. He's kinda getting a booty."

James spluttered with laughter while Brooke repeated in a puzzled tone, "Booty . . .?"

"Who's got the booty?" Kendall asked, coming back in with a wagon wheel in his hand.

"You do," Logan laughed as Kendall sat back down beside James. Kendall's cheeks turned red and he smiled bashfully, while Brooke continued to look on in hopeless confusion.

* * *

 

"Thanks for coming here with me," Carlos said at last as they sat nervously in the lobby of Sherwood Rehabilitation Centre . "I really needed someone."

"It's no big deal," Logan shrugged, coiling his hand subtly around Carlos' and giving it a comforting squeeze. "I knew you did. It'll be fine, okay?"

"What if things are awkward between us?"

"Carli, I'm almost certain they will be. You haven't seen her in years. But you still love her?"

"Of course I do."

"And you care about her?"

"Definitely."

"And I'm sure she still loves and cares about you too. I'm sure she didn't have to request that the rehabilitation centre contact you, doesn't she have sisters and a mother?"

When Carlos nodded, Logan nodded too with a warm smile. "Well then, obviously she wanted to contact you for a reason. So we can hope and assume it's a good one, okay?"

Carlos leaned forward unexpectedly and hugged Logan close to him, burying his face in his shoulder and sniffling as he murmured back, "Okay."

The two sat and waited for another ten minutes, until a woman with dark hair tied in a neat bun behind her head hurried towards them, pushing her glasses back up as they slipped over the bridge of her nose. "You're Carlos Garcia, I presume?" She said to Carlos, who nodded. "Great, we've got your mom waiting to see you. And you're okay with this young man coming along?"

"I can wait," Logan began, but Carlos cut him off.

"Yeah, I want him with me. It's going to be strange . . ."

"Of course, no problem. But I must say, I think you'll be pleased with the changes she's made. Follow me."

Hands tightly linked, the two followed the woman down the hallway. "We thought we'd let you two talk in one of the therapy rooms, it's empty right now," she nattered on as she moved towards a door. "It's comfortable and there'll be nobody to disturb you." She opened the door and stuck her head in. "Yeah, I have them," she murmured briefly to someone on the other side before saying more loudly, in a kinder voice, "Sylvia? Your son's here."

She opened the door wider and stepped back, giving Carlos and Logan room to walk in. The room was quite small, with a desk and chair, some more softer chairs, a sofa and some rugs rolled up in the corner. Sitting on the sofa, hands clasped nervously on her lap, was Sylvia Garcia. She looked different to when Carlos saw her last. Her eyes were no longer sunken into her face. Her hair was shiny and when she smiled, she'd lost that old manic expression she used to have back before he sent her to rehab. "Is that you, sweetie?" she said eagerly, but also fearfully, looking up at the two boys. "My little 'Litos? You're so tall . . ."

"Y-yeah, Mama, it's me," Carlos replied shakily, gripping Logan's hand tighter. "This is my friend . . . my boyfriend, Logan."

"It's nice to meet you, Ms Garcia," Logan said quietly, smiling and waving. She stood up and stepped towards them, holding her arms out to Carlos. For a moment he didn't move, couldn't move. Then he ripped his hand from Logan's grip and dived into her arms, hugging her around the waist and burying his face in the shoulder of her sweater. "Mama," he mumbled, eyes full. "I missed you so much. You look so healthy!"

"You're all strong, what happened to you?" she laughed even as tears slid down her face. "You're a man now. Seventeen!"

"Yeah, I'm seventeen. Not that long though, as you know."

"Of course I know, as if I'd forget my little Litos' birthday!" She gave his cheek a light pinch, the skin flushing. "You're going to have to tell me everything I've missed, okay? Don't leave anything out."

Logan grimaced behind them. The memories of the last few months weren't all exactly good storytelling material.

Carlos seemed to be thinking the same thing as he glanced back at Logan and made a face. "Well, my life's been, uh . . . interesting, I guess. I live with Logan and two other boys and Brooke and Dan and a dog Sydney."

"Well, tell me about them, let's sit!" She tugged Carlos down on the sofa beside her, patting the empty spot and telling Logan to sit there too. So he did, blushing and smiling shyly. "Are they like your brothers?"

"No, we're more like friends," he relied, not even needing to hesitate. "I've never seen them as my brothers. That would be weird, with the whole thing Logan and I have . . . so, friends. Best friends."

"That's so sweet. Now don't get me wrong, I obviously want to see you more often but I'm not leaving here for another month, I just wanted to see you again and show you the progress I've made, to show you I can still be the mom I was before."

"I never doubted you," Carlos chuckled. "Not for a second."

She pecked him on the forehead as an answer, his cheeks going red as he watched Logan grin at the both of them, a kind of wistful look in his eyes.

All alone that Saturday afternoon, spending it lounging lazily on the couch, Kendall and James were eventually kicked out of the house by a grouchy Brooke who wanted the television to herself. She handed them a list and some cash and sent them on their way with directions on where they needed to go.

"Why couldn't Dan do it on his way home?" James whined.

Kendall shrugged. "He might be tired, we haen't done shit all day."

"I guess so . . ."

James and Kendall walked hand in hand into the grocery store, Kendall holding Brooke's shopping list securely in his hand. She had given them money for a wide range of groceries to last them all week, and their little local gas station wasn't quite adequate enough. "Anyway, the first thing written on her list is a packet of penne," Kendall read as the walked. "What the hell is a penne?"

"It's a pasta shape," James told him. "You know, the little tubes?"

"Oh, right! Why didn't she just say so? I think the packs of dry pasta are this way."

James grabbed a shopping cart and followed Kendall around the corner and into the right aisle. Kendall grabbed the packet from the shelf and tossed it in carelessly before beckoning for James to keep following him, and off he went again. James followed him around tiredly, pushing the trolley as item after item was added in. The entire bottom of the cart was covered and things were just beginning to pile up when Kendall announced chirpily, "Only two things left; ketchup and two loaves of wheat bread."

"I'm delighted for you," James said huffily as he pushed the cart after Kendall again, glancing sideways at the interesting bargains on the shelves. "All I can say is you'd better help me w—"

Suddenly Kendall stopped. But James didn't and the cart jammed hard into his back. Kendall stumbled forward and crashed into a woman standing by the shelves of bottled sauces. "Shit, sorry Kendall!" James exclaimed, pulling the cart back. "Why'd you stop?"

Kendall didn't answer. "Kendall?" James repeated, walking around the cart so he stood at his side. He saw Kendall staring at a woman with long, wavy auburn hair, very skinny arms and a similar stricken expression on her face. James glanced briefly at her roots. They were a little grey, but there was that dark trace of the hair colour she'd had before she dyed it. He wondered when she'd done that. Maybe after she'd placed Kendall in foster care . . .

Kendall cleared his throat suddenly, expression hardening as he said, "Excuse me, Ma'am. I need to get something off the shelf behind you."

When she seemed too shocked to step aside he pushed past her, grabbing a bottle of ketchup from the shelf and tossing it into the cart. "Kendall," she said at last, voice trembling.

Kendall glanced at her, hands gripping the cart handle tightly. His hands were white. "Jennifer," he said at last, keeping his tone nochalant, uncaring. James could see she was hurt by it. But did she really expect to be addressed as mother?

"Um, w-who's your friend?" she asked, trying to smile though her mouth quivered a little.

"James," Kendall answered, glancing at the older boy, who gave him a comforting little smile. "We live together."

"Oh, you were adopted?"

"Yeah. Just because you didn't want me doesn't mean nobody does."

She flinched as through she'd been shot through the chest, gripping her shopping basket so hard her hands shook. "Kendall, I . . ."

"What?" he snapped, eyes cold and hard. "What do you want?"

"I-I just wanted to say, um," she stuttered, seeming to be wracking her brains. "You, you look very different. Good different."

Kendall pushed the shopping cart a few steps forward. "I am different."

James glanced at him and tried to see him through Jennifer's eyes. The wording of this situation instantly creeped him out because _ew_ , but he still took a moment to observe him. He was wearing skinny jeans and James' blue hoodie again; he seemed to have a fondness for it. He'd just re-dyed his hair three days ago so the blond was bright and summery, with just a little touch of very pale blue. He had no makeup on, which was different for him. He'd just got a little nose stud last week to match the larger one on his tongue, convincing a terrified James to get one on his earlobe. Perhaps he did look different to what he did when he was fourteen or fifteen. But James did notice one other thing about him, perhaps the most significant to him; the fact that his body filled his clothes much more than it had, and the healthier glow to his cheeks.

"Come on, Jay," Kendall said, pushing the cart away. "Nice seeing you, but we've got shopping to finish."

James followed Kendall uncertainly around the corner, in the direction of the aisle where the bread was kept. Kendall let go of the cart handles, letting it roll away a few feet before James hurried over and caught it. "J-Jay . . ."

Shit. "It's okay, I'm here," James said quickly, tugging the cart back with one hand and wrapping his arm around Kendall with the other, the blond burying his face in his chest instantly. "I've got you, you're okay."

Kendall clung to James' shirt for a few minutes, just standing there shaking with only the top of his head visible. He took a deep breath then, lifting his head and looking up at James. "Well," he said weakly at last. "That was unexpected."

"She changed her hair," was all James could comment in respomse.

"So did I. Come on, let's get the bread and go home."

Kendall held his emotions bottled up inside, whatever they might have been and grasped the loaves of wheat bread, placing them into the cart more carefully than the others. James walked besdie him and they wheeled the cart to one of the larger checkout counters, waiting for all the goods to be scanned and handing the money over to the sullen middle aged woman without another word. Just as they carried their bags outside the door and slotted the shopping cart back into place, James stopped suddenly, worried but determined about what he had just chosen to do. "Hey, do you mind waiting here for a minute? I wanted to get a box of biscuits for Sydney, but I forgot."

"Sure, I'll wait," Kendall said, taking his two bags from him with a slight huff at the extra weight. "Just don't take too long, yeah? We've got cold stuff in here."

"I'll only be a minute," James promised, their change secure in his pocket as he hurried back into the store. He snatched the dog biscuits off the shelf with no difficulty, before spending the next minute desperately hunting the store. He found Jennifer Knight holding two different brands of cherry tomatoes in her hands, staring blankly at them as though she'd forgotten not only whichever one she normally bought, but what they were. "Hey," he greeted her abruptly, no time for any warmth. "Listen. Do you want our address?"

"What?" She gave him the same blank look until she suddenly remembered who he was. She frowned. "I . . . well, yes I do, but Kendall—"

"Well look, I'll give it to you anyway. Got a pen?" She handed him a pen and a pocket notepad, and he scribbled it down. "If you ever decide it might be a good idea to stop by, then do. Just wanted to give you the opportunity, I guess. He deserves it."

She gave him a puzzled look, as though he'd spoken in another language she was trying to interpret. "And you're his . . . friend?"

"Sure, friend. I've gotta go." He hurried away from her and to the counter with a smiley young man, paid for the biscuits, and left the store. "Hey, I'm back," he greeted cheerily, slipping the new item into one of the bags and then picking up his two, Kendall doing the same. "Syd's going to love those. Come on, let's get going."

He could only hope he had done the right thing, but somehow he knew, in his gut, deep down, that he most certainly had.

It was only two days later when Jennifer decided to call over. There was a knock on the door, James went to answer, leaving Kendall sitting in the living room, and there she was. Without a word, he stepped aside to let her in, just as his mother walked out into the hallway. "Hey, Mom," he said quietly, praying her raging hormones wouldn't result in his untimely death. "This is Kendall's mom."

"Hi," Jennifer said nervously, giving a little smile. "You must be the one who adopted my Kendall, right?"

"Yeah, that was me." She gave James a doubtful glance. "Are you sure about this?"

"Nope," he replied with a shrug, before turning towards the living room, "Kendall, come out here!"

When Kendall walked out, still in his little pyjamas because when they had nowhere to go he tended not to leave them until the afternoon, he saw Jennifer and froze. "What's she doing here?" he demanded in a harsh voice. "How'd she find out where I live?"

As Jennifer visibly deflated, James said bravely, "I told her."

"Why would you do that?" Kendall exclaimed in horror. "Why?!"

"Because I thought it would be a good idea," James replied determinedly. "And while I am slightly regretting it I still think it should be something that you think about for a bit."

"You, you're . . ." Seething, Kendall shook his head and stormed upstairs, bedroom door slamming loudly around the house. Sydney began to bark.

"Syd, hush!" Brooke hissed at her, before turning to Jennifer and giving her the friendliest smile she could. "He's obviously shocked, who wouldn't be? Why don't you come in the kitchen with me while James talks to him . . ."

The two women walked off and James dashed upstairs, taking a quick break to smack himself on the head. He opened Kendall's bedroom door and found him, not sobbing or smashing things as he'd expected, but just lying on his bed on his back, arms folded on his stomach, staring at the ceiling, no trace of sadness or anger about him, though his forehead was creased in a slight frown.

"I'm really sorry, Kendall," James said quietly as the blond's eyes landed on him and he sat up. "I ddn't mean to upset you, I just wanted you to be happy. Though I probably should've taken more time to consider what does make you—"

"Jay," Kendall cut in, swinging legs over the bed to place his bare feet on the floor. "I'm not upset, or angry. I'm just . . . I don't even know." Giving an agitated sigh, he got to his feet, slowly pacing the room as James stood still and watched him. "I just keep thinking about how she gave me away with no thought. But then I think about how she used to comfort me when my dad or other men hurt me and even though I hated her for not stopping it I also loved her for trying to make it better. She got me that cat, you know, the one I told you about. She told me he'd be like my baby, or my brother or sister or my guardian or just my friend, whichever I pleased. She did care about me, even if she sometimes sucked at showing it." He gave another harsh sigh. "But I don't want her to feel like that's all gone away, you know? I want her to regret it and feel guilty for the rest of her life because she should, and I don't want to be the one who accidentally convinces her that it's fine because it all worked out in the end, because no, it'll never work out. What happened affected me and still does affect me, and it'll never go away, it shouldn't go away for her either." He stopped to take a breath. "Sorry, was that really long-winded and confusing?"

"No, no, I just . . . well . . ."

The two fell into an awkward silence, something they rarely had.

"Would giving her a chance be such a bad thing?" James said at last. "Please don't get me wrong, I haen't been in your situation and there's no way I could ever possibly know how you feel . . . but she cared enough to come here."

Kendall sighed, leaning against the wall and folding his arms. "I just . . . I don't know. I get what you're saying. I want to, sort of. But then I don't, because she doesn't deserve it. And all of that stuff I just said. Plus I feel like forgiving her might just start something . . ."

"Like what?"

"Like . . ." He puffed out a breath of air. "I don't know. Spending more time with her. Her wanting to be back in my life, though I dunno if that'd actually happen. But if it did, and it went far enough, she might want me back with her . . ."

"Oh." James folded his arms too. "And . . . would you go with her? I know you don't want to right now, but if all that were to happen—"

"No, no," Kendall shook his head firmly. "I never would. It doesn't matter how much my relationship with her improves. I couldn't leave you, I . . ." He stopped, biting his lip and covering one red cheek with his hand. His lips, James was sure, momentarily mouthed an 'L' sound, before he was back to biting his lip and staring at the floor.

James took a deep breath, taking Kendall's hand and linking their fingers together, "Yeah," he said softly. "Me too."

Kendall gazed up at him with wide eyes. Then he lunged forward, throwing his arms around his neck and kissing him hard on the mouth. James kissed back passionately and held him close. He had to admit, he never thought things would end up like this. "I'm going to talk to her," Kendall decided when he pulled back, breathless and flustered. "I want to now, but that's all I'm doing, just talking."

"Good," James smiled, taking his hand. "That's all you need for now. And I like having you with me. I love it, in fact."

Kendall gave a little laugh and the two left the room, heading down the hallway and down the stairs. When they got there, they immediately heard voices in the kitchen and went in to see both their mothers sitting there. Brooke looked stern; Jennifer looked a bit faint at this point. She stiffened and straightened up when they came in, and waited.

"Well." Kendall huffed, folding his arms and glaring at her sternly. "Frankly, I don't want to forgive you. I don't think you deserve it."

She swallowed and nodded slowly, looking very much as though she wanted to protest. But she kept quiet. And he took a deep breath, unfolding his arms only so he could touch his hand off James' for some comfort. "But, we only live once and I don't see the harm in giving you a chance to redeem yourself. But it's a small chance, I mean that."

She let out a little sob, mouth curling as she nodded faster and eagerly this time, getting up to hug him close to her. He let her, still a little stiff and unresponsive. But a chance was more than she could've hoped for, and a chance was what she got. James stood by his mother and watched them both, hoping that Jennifer wouldn't take advantage of it, and that Kendall wouldn't regret it. He didn't need his mom breaking his heart a second time.

She came back to visit him twice a week over the next three weeks. One evening she showed up unexpectedly for a third time, and her and Kendall left the house to talk. They were gone for hours; Kendall returned in the dark with a sort of blank look on his face. He didn't get out of bed until the next afternoon, sitting at the table where the others were playing a game of cards. As he sat down in the empty chair beside James, giving Sydney a quick scratch behind her ears, he blurted out suddenly, "I want to visit my dad."

Carlos' handful of cards exploded over the table. "You lied!" Logan roared in outrage, plucking one from the table. "You did have the queen of diamonds!"

"Sorry, my mistake. Kendall, are you sure?"

"I feel like it might give me closure," Kendall said quietly. "Not like, speaking to him politely or anything, no. Honestly, I think looking him in the eye and telling him I'm okay would really shove it in his face and make me feel a hell of a lot stronger. Does that make sense?"

"I think so," Carlos agreed, nodding slowly. "You want to stick it to him."

"Yeah, I do. I don't even know how he'll react. But I still want to."

"When?" James asked.

"I don't know," Kendall sighed, head,slumping. "When I get the balls, I guess."

"Well," Logan said cheerily. "When you find your balls, we'll be there for you, okay?"

Kendall nodded. "Okay."

It was on a Sunday morning that Kendall finally did get the balls, so to speak. He was up unusually early, earlier even than Logan. He'd been sitting on the floor with Sydney lying across his lap when they joined him. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, naturally. Sydney loved everyone and sometimes the strangest of people could become early risers.

"Anyone wanna come walking with Sydney and me?" Kendall asked. "I figured I'd just walk her into town while I'm at it, she might like it . . ."

"I'll go," James said immediately, getting up and grabbing his sneakers.

"Me too," Logan added, shrugging and standing up, showed already secure on his feet. Seeing the youngest boy leave, Carlos followed without hesitation, and the four of them left the house.

Kendall walked with determined strides, Sydney bounding ahead of him. She stopped to sniff at anything new she found, but most often he ignored her and tugged her on anyway. The others were having trouble keeping up at times. "Kendall, calm down," Logan huffed, power walking after him. "This isn't a dog race!"

Kendall didn't seem to hear him, hand tightly gripping Sydney's leash. Then he stopped, stumbling a bit when Sydney tugged ahead. She stopped and sat down, glancing at him with her head cocked to the side in confusion.

Then James suddenly realised where they were, as he looked at the old fashioned grey building, with its tall fences with barbed wire coiled on top. He didn't even need to read the sign above the entrance where inside, he could see a layout kind of like a regular reception. Only, of course, much darker. "Today, Kendall?"

Kendall nodded. "Can you guys wait for me? I mean, you don't have to . . ."

"No, we can wait," Carlos said quickly. "You'd do it for us." Taking Sydney's leash, he quickly crossed the street and sat on the bench at the other side, the dog sitting on the ground beside him. Logan followed him and they sat, watching them patiently.

James turned to glance down at Kendall. "Do you think they'll let you visit him?" he asked. "I mean, you are underage without anyone of age."

Kendall shrugged. "If it's just phones through a window they might, or even just the usual supervised face to face meeting, I don't know . . . I'm still going to try."

"Are you scared?"

Kendall shook his head, and oddly enough James believed him. "Okay, good luck." He pecked him on the forehead. "I'll be waiting with their others."

Kendall nodded, smiling grimly at him. He waited until James crossed the street and sat with the others, before turning and walking inside with slow but determined strides. He disappeared from view.

"What do you think they'll talk about?" Logan asked at last to break the awkward silence between them. "I mean, what do you even say to someone like that?"

"I personally think a rendition of 'What doesn't kill you," would be appropriate," Carlos said breezily, slouching back and folding one arm over his chest, scratching Sydney's head with the other to keep her entertained. "Then again, it's a break up song. So it might be a bit weird. Although, given their circumstances . . ."

"Shush," James cut in harsly, not wanting to hear any more about that. But movement at the front door suddenly caught his attention and he sat up straight, beginning to frown and tense up. "He's coming back, look."

"That's weird," Logan commented as they all carefully observed Kendall walking back up the path and approaching the road. They tried to read his expression, his body language. James found he could read nothing, for once, and wasn't sure if the others were. He was walking quite slowly, that much he could easily tell. But his face was more or less totally blank. His hnds were shoved deep in the pockets of the blue sweater.

He didn't give any indication of the situation at all, only slowing down a little as he got closer to the bench. Sydney stood up at his arrival, tail wagging, but he paid no attention to her. The others immediately scooted apart to make room for him, and he sat down between James and Logan. Slumping back against the bench, hands in his pickets, bulging as he curled them into fists, he sighed at last and murmured, "He's dead."

"He . . . he's dead?" Logan exclaimed, sitting up straight and turning towards him properly. Kendall didn't look up. "What?!"

"Man inside wasn't sure if he could let me visit until I told him I was family. Then he chacked the records . . . people can die in prison all the time, you know, fights and stuff. Especially when rumours get spread around about what people are in for. That's what he said."

"And nobody contacted you? What about your mom, wouldn't she know?" Carlos demanded, perhaps a little too loudly as Kendall flinched at his words.

"No, my mom broke all ties with my dad. If they called anyone it was probably his parents or his sister, my aunt . . . she lives in New York, I think. She's a journalist." This wasn't in any way relevant and the other three knew it. "She looks like me, I've seen a picture . . ."

"Kendall," James interrupted gently. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know." The answer came more abruptly than expected and the other three tensed up. "I really wanted to talk to him. But he deserves to be dead. I hope they hurt him bad. Just sucks that I couldn't." He fell silent again, but when he threw his head back and puffed out the air from his lungs, pouting his lips and pursing them together, the others were able to relax and do the same.

"So, that's that," Logan sighed, eyes on the grey sky above them. "Three of us with dads up there. Or under our feet."

"If my dad's not in hell I'm gonna kill myself off early and give someone," Kendall pointed upwards determinedly, "a good talking to."

"My dad's probably up there," Carlos commented idly, arms folded. "He did nice things for people, he was a cop. He rescued a kid from a house on fire once even though he wasn't a fireman. He was great."

"I didn't know your dad died, Logan," James added at last. "You never told us."

"I didn't see the point in mentioning him," Logan replied a little scathingly, but also mournfully. "He was about as emotionally stable as a daisy. I'm sure it wasn't entirely his fault. He hung himself in his boss's office. My mom was having an affair with him."

"Well," Kendall chuckled grimly. "He sure showed her."

"It really messed her up. But she was still a good mom." Logan's tone sobered considerably as he said, "But it means I don't know where either of them are now. They're probably better off separate though."

"Maybe I can hire a hitman to kill my dad," James mused. "Nobody would miss him. Then we'd all be dadless. We don't need them anyway."

Grunting in agreement, the four boys slipped into silence again, just taking in the mild urban sounds in their ears and the clouds above their heads. A bird flew into James' vision and his eyes followed it lazily. It looked like a crow. They'd freaked him out a bit when he was a kid. A lot of them used to gather by that creepy old house near the park. That had long been knocked down, something new built in its place.

"Do you be wanna go get a snack?" Logan suggested, sitting up straight and groaning at the new ache in his neck. "Sitting outside this place is a bit depressing. We could go get a smoothie."

"How about tacos? I like tacos," Carlos said as he perked up in interest.

"We can't get them both," James protested the same time as Kendall protested, "But I want chile fries."

James sighed as his friends chuckled at each other's utter stupidity. "I guess we could make a stop for each," Logan shrugged. "It's not like we've got anything better to do. Syd could do with the excercise anyways."

"So what's your choice then, Diamond?" Kendall asked cheekily, poking James' arm playfully. "Wanna go get a sub?"

"Can we?"

"Let's stop at Taco Bell first, it's the closest, I'm pretty sure," Carlos said, standing up and holding Sydney's leash. "Then we can get James a sub, get Kendall's fries and Logan's smoothie."

"Sounds like a plan," Logan said cheerily, arm around his waist as Carlos put his free arm arund his shoulders. "Maybe we could get something for Sydney, obviously nothing poisonous . . ."

"We'll see what we can do," Carlos agreed, and the two walked off, full of chatter.

James wound his arm arund Kendall's shoulders, tugging him to his side and kissing his forehead. "You were brave coming here today," he said softly. "I couldn't have done it."

Kendall, arm on James' waist, flushed and smiled but also shook his head. "I think you could."

* * *

 

"School's out!" Carlos roared in delight, throwing his notebook onto the ground, pages scattering over the front yard of the school. Kendall followed suit, spinning around with his arms out wide. Logan was quietly showing his own secret joy by throwing his neatly in the trash can. James was just numb. Of course, as the bell rang for his final class, he'd joined in the celebrations like everybody else. It was only as he walked out the doors that he realised it was almost the last time he would leave them this way.

Next year he would be a senior. The idea was totally bizarre, totally terrifying. And on this day, exactly a year later, he could be a high school graduate. And then what would happen? No college, that's for sure. Unless his mom could blackmail a lot more cash off his father. But even at that, he doubted he would ever know what to do in college. He just wasn't a college type. Logan, he felt, was the only one of the four who was. And he would also be the last to graduate, by a whole year. He wondered if Kendall and Carlos would argue at their graduation. If either of them gave a speech he imagined it would involve, "I hate you all and I hope you burn in hell, especially you,"; cue the pointing fingers and the yelling that would ensue.

Kendall and Dan had begun to get along like a house on fire. James had known at the start that Dan had found Kendall's whole attitude and personality a little too much, but they were different now. Kendall was different now. James had noticed his hair begin to get darker, and when he did a brief check in the bathroom he thought Kendall mught've run out of dye, blond and otherwise. But Kendall was now spending his savings on snacks or a new yarn bracelet, or a Beatles T-shirt. He even bought James a new earring, though he personally didn't see the point in changing it. It was cute, though. Looked a little like a shark tooth. Carlos said it was manly. Logan said he looked like a tool.

"What are we gonna do this summer?" Carlos asked as they walked down towards the bus. "The possibilities are endless!"

"I think that the possibility are pretty end _ful_ ," Kendall corrected him.

"Endful is not a word," Logan told them both, nodding firmly.

"School's over, cool it with the vocal, got it?" Kendall retorted, flipping him off. "Anyways, we can't go to the beach or any shit like that, this place is landlocked."

"What about a lake, there are some around. You know, small ones."

"How about the pool?" James suggested.

"Let's just buy one of those kids' paddling pools," Logan said seriously. "The inflatable ones, right? Then we'll have that all summer, and we'll be the coolest kids on the block."

"Um, excuse me, Logan," Carlos said disapprovingly. "We _are_ the coolest kids on the block."

"Most of us," Kendall sing-singed, ducking away from the smack Carlos aimed at his head.

James woke up on the first official morning of summer much earlier than he'd planned. Across the way from him, Carlos was sitting up too, groggy and grouchy but suddenly very alert. Because what they'd heard were loud cries of pain.

"Mom?!" James yelled, sprinting out of the room in his boxers with Carlos hot on his heels. They crashed into Logan and Kendall on the way, Kendall in his massive t-shirt and Logan in his baggy sweats. Dan opened his and Brooke's bedroom door suddenly, holding a duffel bag in one hand, his free arm around Brooke's shoulder. She was clutching her huge belly and moaning and whimpering. "Oh my god, is it the baby?" As if that wasn't damn obvious.

"I'm going into labour," Brooke panted, face scrunched up in pain. "D-Dan's taking me to the hospital."

"We'll come with you!" James urged as they passed him and headed down the stairs. "Mom, wait!"

"You can catch up, you're not ready and we have to go now," Dan said to them firmly but kindly. "And you can't leave Sydney here alone anyway. Your mom will be fine, alright?" They rushed out the door before any of the boys could say another word. Still half asleep, and now in a frenzied panic, they began to run wild about the house and tried to organise themselves. They didn't want to be late to meet the new Diamond baby.

"Hurry up," Carlos roared at the bathroom door. "I want to shower too, Kendall!"

"I'm done now I swear, give me a second!"

"Carlos, you should've just done what I did," Logan said as he hurried past, buttoning up a blue shirt. "I washed myself off in the kitchen sink, no time for a shower."

"Did anyone feed Sydney?" James yelled as he pulled up his socks, moving out into the hallway to search for his sneakers just as Kendall emerged from the bathroom with dripping hair, wrapped only in a towel. "Oh, hello there," he squeaked, cheeks reddening.

Kendall grinned, ignoring Carlos sprint past him and slam the bathroom door shut. "Hey." He strolled past James breezily, hand just brushing off his, before disappearing into his and Logan's room. Then James reluctantly snapped back to reality. "Seriously, did anyone feed her?" he called.

"I did!" Logan said. "And by the way, your sneakers are on top of the TV."

"Why did I put thm there," he wondered to himself, running downstairs to get them.

"So if we take the bus that leaves in twenty minutes, it stops only about ten away from the hospital Dan said he'd take Mom to," Kendall yelled as he ran out of his bedroom in his skinny jeans and black t-shirt, slipping into a pair of tennis shoes and he vigorously dried his hair with a towel before grabbing his comb. "And we can leave Sydney with Lucy just so nothing goes wrong here. We don't know how long we'll be out."

"I'll pack a bag for her," James said, running into the kitchen. "Okaay, her food, her squeaky bone her leash . . ."

"That'll be enough for her, Lucy can handle it," Logan said before turning and yelling up the stairs. "Carli, hurry up!"

Five minutes later, Kendall had Sydney gripped in a leash and Carlos was diving down the stairs with tw different shoes on. "Okay, I'm ready," he said breathlessly. "Who's got the keys?"

"Me," James replied, holding them up before adding, "Everyone out!"

The three boys hurried out the front door and James followed, locking it firmly after them and carrying Sydney's bag over his shoulder as they started a brisk walk down the path. "Who's got the bus fare?" he asked. Logan raised his hand. "Okay, good."

They made a quick stop at Lucy's house, Kendall banging aggressively on the door and her answering with a greeting just as loud and impolite. But then they both tugged, beaming and laughing, and Lucy took Sydney into the house and shut the door. The four boys ended up jogging to the bus stop to make it on time, paying the driver and finally slumping into their seats with long sighs. "I've got to admit, I didn't think we'd make it," Logan chuckled at last, running a hand through his, for once, flat and shaggy hair. "I'm proud of us."

"Me too," James grinned, chuckling at Kendall's windswept and wet hair, tugging at it before the blond huffed, slapped his hand away, and began to work on fixing it.

As they travelled through town and towards the hospital, James began to worry for his mother. It seemed a childish and stupid (and impossible) thought, but what if she'd forgotten how to give birth? It'd been almost eighteen years since the last time she'd done it. What if she was in too much pain and cracked under the pressure? What if she cried . . .

Kendall reached out and squeezed his hand. He squeezed it back tightly, maybe a little too tightly. But it gave him some comfort.

They may have been dressed and groomed, but the four boys still carried a dishevelled appearance as they entered the maternity wing of the hospital and collapsed down on the hard waiting room chairs. "They hurt my butt," Carlos whined, shifting uncomfortably. The waiting room was fairly empty, the occasional visitor walking through.

They played I Spy. They played hide-and-seek (which failed horribly). They tried to take naps on each other's shoulders. They sat upside down in their seats until the blood rushed to their heads and turned their faces bright red. They tried to braid each other's hair. They thumb wrestled. They arm wrestled. They played charades and celebrity 20 questions. Then they all sat in a row, slouching in their seats. Logan pushed his shaggy hair out of his eyes with a huff. Carlos folded his arms and shifted slightly. Kendall sighed and squeezed his knees together. James threw his head back and bumped it off the back of his chair with a grunt and a whimper.

When Dan appeared in the waiting room, it was as though he'd been sent from heaven. He spotted the boys and hurried over to them. He looked flushed and squeamish and uncomfortable and yet he couldn't stop smiling. "She's had the baby. A little girl."

"A girl?" Logan whispered in awe. Still, the thought was very foreign in a household like theirs. "That's wonderful!"

"I reckon you can go in and see her if you want," Dan continued. "She's awake and she's really well. She's in room 203. I'll be back in a few minutes." And he hurried off again down the hallway.

The four boys got up and walked in the direction of the rooms, trying to appear subtle and mannerly in this strictly run place. As they arrived at the door, a nurse suddenly walked out. "Oh." She smiled at them. "You want to see Brooke and the baby?"

When all the boys nodded eagerly, she replied with, "I'm sure she'll be happy to see you. But she seems a bit tired, maybe only family should go in first . . ."

"Brilliant, that's us!" Carlos retorted, walking past her and into the ward. James shrugged idly at her gobsmacked expression before following, Kendall and Logan doing the same. They shut the door after them and turned to the bed. Brooke was sitting up in bed in her hospital gown. Her hair was tousled and her face, for once, bare of any makeup products. It made her look younger, softer. She held a bundle wrapped in a pink blanket in her arms, looking up at them to smile the widest they'd ever seen.

"Hi boys. Here's our little baby girl," Brooke said softly to them, holding the little pink bundle in her arms and showing the boys the baby's flushed and sleepy face. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Aww, Mom," Kendall breathed. James glanced at him to see that his eyes were brimming over with tears. "She's so little."

Brooke nodded, in a similar state of overwhelming happiness. "Do you want to hold her?"

Kendall was about to hold his arms out when he suddenly stopped, shaking his head. "Let James hold her first. He's her real brother, after all . . ."

"Only half," James corrected uncertainly as a baby was suddenly flung into his arms and he had no idea what to do with it. Or her. He looked down at her, cradling her head under his hand as his mother had done. She was still snoozing and didn't look up at him. He could see his mom in evey inch of her. And suddenly he found himself sniffling too. "Wow . . ."

"Are you going to call her Kate?" Logan asked. "Like you said?"

"Well, I was." James handed the baby back to Brooke, who held her close to her chest before smiling and saying, "But actually, upon seeing her, I like Katie more."

"Katie is cute," Carlos agreed, grinning down at her. "It's like a cute little innocent kid name, you know?"

"Hopefully she'll grow up to be just that," Brooke laughed. "You boys have worn me out."

"Are you gonna have any more kids?" Kendall enquired a bit apprehensively. James remembered with a jolt how six months ago, the four of them had sat in his old bedroom with a Mothercare magazine and the blond had ranted spitefully, "Forget the condom, I've got room for one more!" It seemed so long ago, and yet the time had flown by almost in an instant. The changes that had come to them all were remarkable.

"No, I don't think so," Brooke replied casually. "I doubt it. Unless Dan wants some more . . ."

James gagged.

"But I think we all know he's not a fatherly type," she continued, the boys chuckling because well, that was obvious. "He seems more able to handle big kids. So that's all I need. My Dan, my big kids and my little Katie. And Sydney Raye, of course."

"We'll all help take care of her," Logan said earnestly. "We promise. Well, I do."

"Me too!" the other three chorused, almost indignantly.

"I've been thinking about what might happen in the future," Brooke said at last, leaning over to put Katie back in her crib and leaving her to sleep. "It suddenly hit me that when Katie turns four, she might be the only one left in the house. Isn't that crazy?"

The boys sobered up suddenly, having never thought about that until now. "I can't picture myself living anywhere else," James replied slowly, a little numbly. "Not a college dorm anyway. I don't know . . ."

"Well, maybe when you all want some more independence, some of my you might live together," she said with a knowing smile. "Or some others might head to college." She glanced at Kendall and Carlos as she spoke.

Carlos shrugged feebly. "I don't know if my mom would have the money, or if I'd even want it . . ."

"My mom's got a lot of savings from back then," Kendall said a little grudgingly, shrugging. "Technically I did earn some of it. I guess I'll think about it."

"Maybe something in media," James said to him.

"Maybe. But I don't care what you say, I'm really not much of a study guy. I like fun, you know?"

"Trust me," Carlos said snippily. "We know."

James wondered who Katie Diamond would grow up to be. Would she be like James, kind of awkward? Or maybe boisterous like Carlos, flirty and snarky like Kendall or a social recluse, who was admittedly quite sweet, like Logan. Maybe she would be a mixture of all four, or maybe she would be none. He would be there to see every bit of it, and he knew the others would too. Even if some day, Kendall did let his mother take a leading role in his life. Even if Carlos did reunite with his. Even if Logan hid back in his shell. They would be here.

The Diamond boys had ended a new and bizarre, painful but memorable chapter in their lives. A new one was about to begin.

 


End file.
